Paying to park at friend's wedding

arunkumar

A friend of mine is getting married in June in Downtown Detroit. I work downtown and it's fairly safe during the day, but I can't speak for the nighttime. That being said, along with her wedding invitations, she gave suggestions for parking options, all that are either $5 an hour, or up to $25 a day.   The most convenient place to park is $25 a day because it is across the street from her reception. There was no mention of valet service being offered. Guests actually have to walk a few blocks to the ceremony and back to the reception, so parking close by is important to me so I can limit having to walk a ton in heels.

I met my friend through my sister and we are not super close but see each other through a mother daughter book club every couple months. I am going to her shower and bachelorette party (and vice versa) as well so I'll be giving gifts to those events. I have a reasonable budget for how much I want to spend overall on her, but it did not include the parking fee.

Considering that I have to pay around $25 to park for her wedding, would it be inconsiderate to lower the amount of money I give to her as my wedding gift by that much? I realize she is trying to save money by not hiring valet, but I thought it was pretty standard if you choose to have your wedding in a downtown area.

Any thoughts?

mbody

I've always figure I'm on my own for parking. Although, I haven't attended many weddings where the ceremony/venue doesn't have it's own private lot. If you set a budget on how much you want to spend, then I don't think you should necessarily go over that because of parking. You can just absorb the parking cost in any of the gifts or a combination of them. There is nothing wrong with that.

colleenm18

I actually have a wedding in downtown Philadelphia with this exact situation and I never even considered that I should lower what I would spend on her gift.  As mbody said I just assumed I am on my own for parking.

This is just my own personal opinion.

penny12986

OP, this is a slippery slope.  Would you expect to be compensated for a bus/train ticket if there was public transportation?  How about if you found a parking meter? Would you want to get those quarters back?

Guests will have to pay to park at my wedding because it is Downtown too.  It just is what it is.

bridetobe71412

I am confused. How would she know that you're lowering the amount of money you would have otherwise given her (but for the parking situation)? (I mean that in the nicest way possible; I am not being snarky.) I think the fact that you're giving her a gift at all is enough. I wouldn't worry about the fact that you're giving less because of having to pay for parking. 

I wouldn't overthink it. People give whatever they can afford and that encompasses many different things and travel, hotels, parking, etc. are all legit expenses to take into account when giving a wedding gift.

ajmom2two

I am not hiring valet service (it would cost us almost $1000 dollars) and guest will have to either pay meters or walk a few blocks to park for free.  I was stressing about this at first but after talking to a bunch of our guests they all said it was no big deal and that they were fine with doing either.  (I was planning to have a bunch of quarters at the wedding for people to use for their meters so they wouldnt have to pay them.)  I think she offered a cheaper parking solution so if you want to park at the more expensive spot that is your choice.  I dont really think you should "dock" what you are going to spend on a gift.  This is just my opinion though and etiquette could state differently.    

bridetobe71412

Schatzi said it more succinctly than me (like usual!).

mbody

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_paying-to-park-at-friends-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:d8a5ec4b-3169-4567-9fec-4a2e124a71a9Post:362239cf-e7d9-4ca6-ae9f-1d8438358e52">Re: Paying to park at friend's wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I am confused. How would she know that you're lowering the amount of money you would have otherwise given her (but for the parking situation)? (I mean that in the nicest way possible; I am not being snarky.) I think the fact that you're giving her a gift at all is enough. <strong>I wouldn't worry about the fact that you're giving less because of having to pay for parking.  </strong>I wouldn't overthink it. People give whatever they can afford and that encompasses many different things and travel, hotels, parking, etc. are all legit expenses to take into account when giving a wedding gift.
Posted by bridetobe71412[/QUOTE]
Right. It's not like you'd be writing

p.s. I normally would have given you $200, but you're only getting $175 because I had to pay $25 for parking

in the card. They wouldn't know the differance. So, whatever you want.

Personally, I'd just pay the $25 in addition to what I'd normally give for the gift. But, like I said, if you set a budget, you don't <em>have </em>to go over it.

arunkumar

Thanks Ladies. I am on a budget but I don't want to look cheap if I give her a smaller gift than what I normally would give. I'll consider what is left in my budget after the shower and bachelorette party and then figure out what to do.

Carla1019

Maybe it's just me, but if I receive a gift at my shower I wouldn't think twice if I didn't get a gift at the wedding. I just want my loved ones to show up and enjoy our day.

Disclaimer: I've only been to a few weddings so my expectations are really low.

xobride

There are lots of things you can give that look more than they really are.  Check the online deal sites, sales at stores like Ross, Marshalls, even the department stores have killer sales.  I never pay retail for anything and everyone always thinks I spent 2-3 times what I actually did.

Like PPs said, it's not like she's going to know that you took money out of your gift budget for parking.  However, if it's really making you feel bad, maybe take it out of the bachelorette party budget instead.  Not sure how much of a drinker you are or where it is, but $25 can go fast towards drinks at some places so maybe have a few less to make up the difference.

dawnleanna1

I'm just thinking, but $25 seems really high to park downtown. That may be the most conveinent place to park but if you're on a budget couldn't you just park in a different lot and walk a little farther? There are plenty of other secure lots downtown (especially on the weekend) that you could park at for less. 

BrightFirefly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_paying-to-park-at-friends-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:d8a5ec4b-3169-4567-9fec-4a2e124a71a9Post:0d03fc2c-b617-46eb-8308-482f9765d3d9">Re: Paying to park at friend's wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks Ladies. I am on a budget but I don't want to look cheap if I give her a smaller gift than what I normally would give. I'll consider what is left in my budget after the shower and bachelorette party and then figure out what to do.
Posted by arunkumar[/QUOTE]

I honestly don't think she'll know you spent less - so - if you're on a budget - just do it. Unless your budget was like thirty dollars - and now you're gunna spend five.