Wedding Night and your first time

abeed123123

Hey i'm not sure what my first time will be since we are saving ourselves for that day. Can anyone tell me what the pain is like? the experience is like? please, i feel so nervous..... Can i have some advice please. my friends have told me that it is horrible

englishgrams

I wouldn't stress about it. Just take your time and go slow. Remember this is someone you love and trust and everything will be good.

Linqdz

Don't listen to your friends. You are going to be sharing love with the person you are in love with...how can that be horrible? Like pp said, just go slow.

LaFemmeRousse

If possible, try to relax and not be nervous, because the calmer and more relaxed you are, the better it will be.  Like the others have said, take your time and go slow.  Maybe start with a massage first.

There are a very wide range of first time experiences out there, but you will have the comfort of knowing that you are with the man you love and will spend the rest of your life with.  There might be a little bit of pain, but then again there might not be any at all.  And even if the first time hurts a little bit- and it won't be horrible, I promise!- know that every subsequent time will get better and better

abeed123123

Thank you guys so much, I feel alot better now. Does anyone here have any more good advice for me leading up to the day? I would love to hear them. Thanks and bless

socialworksarah

I'm not sure if you are looking for a Christian perspective on this or not, but my FI and I are also waiting because of our Christian beliefs. Since I will have absolutely no idea what is going on, I have recently purchased a book for myself by a Christian author, its called Sheet Music by  Dr. Kevin Leman. It goes into a lot more detail, and he is far more blunt then I am used to when I read most Christian books, that's a huge help! 

Also, my FI have had several conversations about this topic which I think will prove to be beneficial. Just keep an open conversation going! 

Sue-n-Kevin

I think some of the advice here is great!

My recommendation (I've got kids, so obviously have had a LOT of sex)

- Get yourself some lubricant, ie KY jelly.
- Relax: the more tense you are, the more your body will not prepare itself
- While you or your new husband may be in a hurry, if you can both control yourselves, snuggle the night of your wedding, but wait for the morning for your first time. I say this because your wedding day is a beautiful event, but stressful and you will both be tired and maybe have had some alcohol. Get up before him if you can slip away, fix your face & hair, and then do it in the morning, when (unless you leave that day for your honeymoon trip), you will have some natural light and all the time you need to make it special. Also, bring a towel to bed, because sometimes there may be a little blood, and you want to make sure you don't leave any embarassing momento if you are in a hotel.

The best advice I can give you is that if you don't enjoy it the first time, you will learn. It takes time to get used to each other's needs & tempo.

Good luck, and congratulations on saving yourselves until after you are married. It can't be easy, but I'm sure you will feel it was worthwhile.

Lil2010

I think it's great that you've waited and that you have this to share with each other.  My advice would be to go slow and don't rush anything.  Also, I seem to remember that being on the bottom didn't hurt as much because I could control how deep things went (if you move your hips upward).  Good luck and enjoy each other

abeed123123

oh ok, cool advice. what does the moving your hips upward do? does it make it easier for insertion and what are the best styles or positions to be in?

notquiteblushing

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_wedding-night-first-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:db2215f5-765e-4477-8258-2db4754368bbPost:719cc236-c5c9-466d-8efa-ea68f8bdea9e">Re: Wedding Night and your first time</a>:
[QUOTE]You know all those other things you're not supposed to do before you're married even though you're not going "all the way"?  Well, they're good practice. I'm NOT saying you should do them before the wedding.  I'm saying that once you're married you should take your time having fun playing around and seeing what feels good and what hurts for a good amount of time before you get to the main event.  Don't drink more alcohol than you're used to, either of you. especially him.  Buy some lubricant and use a lot of it.  Go slow, relax as much as you can, and make sure he knows to stop if you're really in pain.
Posted by nhelene[/QUOTE]

This is all great advice.  Just relax and enjoy yourself.  And don't stress if it's not exactly what you picture.  You have lots of time to perfect your routine.

notquiteblushing

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_wedding-night-first-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:db2215f5-765e-4477-8258-2db4754368bbPost:1b22d7cd-9558-480d-a73b-1cc2b18fbd26">Re: Wedding Night and your first time</a>:
[QUOTE]oh ok, cool advice. what does the moving your hips upward do? does it make it easier for insertion and what are the best styles or positions to be in?
Posted by abeed123123[/QUOTE]

For your first time I would reccomend being on your back (after lots and lots of foreplay to get yourselves ready).  Moving your hips will make it easier for insertion, yes.  Think about the angles involved.  He will be leaning in towards you so you have to raise your hips to meet him halfway.  Don't worry, you will figure it out!

nefariousmango

I agree with PPs- go slow and try to relax and take your time.  I have never heard anyone say it was too painful, and everyone I know who waited until they were with someone they loved ans trusted did not have any problems with their first time hurting too much.

My fiance and I have been having sex regularly for about five years, and I can honestly say that it gets better and better as long as you both stay honest and open.  If you tell him what feels good and what doesn't, you can both improve.  If you don't, you get stuck in a rut. 

Also, a friend of mine a while back took me to a sex shop to buy "real lube" and I've never gone back to KY, So I highly reccomend you get a brave friend or two and go try lubes (rub them between your fingers) to find one that doesn't feel sticky/greasy/unnatural.  Lube will significantly lower the odds of a painful first-time, so get some for your wedding night :-)

Finally, don't take it too seriously!  Sex is a totally bizzare act and the potential for awkwardness is huge!  You'll enjoy it more (always) if you're ready to laugh it off and role with the punches.

I think it's great that you did what you both believe is right even when most of society might disagree!  (My religion doesn't even have a marriage tradition, but I am a religious person so I understand the importance of following one's faith!)

JHS16

Make sure you pee pretty soon afterwards to prevent a urinary tract infection!  I got one the first time I had sex, and you would hate to have it during the rest of your honeymoon!  By soon, I mean pee within half an hour or so, and you'll be safe. 

Honestly, that was the only bad thing about my first time.....I was so excited it didn't hurt at all.  I also didn't bleed, but that might be because I used tampons previously, had a PAP smear, or ran often.  Hope that helps!  I think it's fantastic you're waiting for your wedding, that takes so much will power!

snuffy5688

i was 20 when i lost my v-card.. so he didnt "pop my cherry"  and he didnt go deep the first time, so there was no pain nor bleeding.. it was pretty uncomfortable, just felt like a lot of pressure down there, but it was all good. just relax and make sure youre plenty wet enough  and make sure hes not too rough and youll be fine.