In a really tight spot, need some advice.

grizzly04

Long story short my fiance wants out wedding to be outdoors, but I am worried about the weather. He doesn't want to get married at his church, and I really don't have a church. His parents are divorced and were married in his church, which I understand. But yesterday during the Christmas service he was thinking about getting married in the church, but when I started to get more into the subject he said he wanted to get married outside.

My HUGE concern is the wedding. To be honest, I will be horribly upset if it is too cold or rains on our wedding day. We already made the non-refundable downpayment ($400) for the outdoor site. The church would be for free and the community center would only cost us $500 compared to the $800 we still have to pay for the outdoor site. The only benefit of this outdoor wedding is that there is a house where my parents, his parents, and a few other relatives can stay and the dogs.

The only option if it did rain would have to be holding the cermoney in the reception hall. It is already a very tight squeeze in there. At times, I want to kick myself for letting him pick and choice things for this wedding.

And the guy that owns this place told us three hundred people could fit in there, ya right. You can only put 8 banquest tables on the first floor, and the second floor we can use but it's closed off. Then we can open up the barn doors on both sides and set tables out but in all honesty I would feel bad during that to my guests. The place is awesome, I'll admit to that, but I don't think people are going to walk around and check out the awesome stuff. We can not cut the guest list, we already did a major butcher job to it.
So what do I do? Just say no and we are doing at the church or do i hope like no other the weather is not bad.  I know the wedding day is about us getting married, not the wedding, but if I am putting all thsi work into it I want to be happy too.

Here is the site for the venue.
http://thegrainerylodge.com/

beardownbchs

I know it would be more money but could you reserve a huge outdoor tent if it rains? 

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_in-a-really-tight-spot-need-some-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:666Discussion:c90d9da7-a13d-4d1f-86bc-fad2a3639607Post:3a4f13cb-0a10-4544-97fe-4fc4f23d789b">In a really tight spot, need some advice.</a>:
[QUOTE]Long story short my fiance wants out wedding to be outdoors, but I am worried about the weather. He doesn't want to get married at his church, and I really don't have a church. His parents are divorced and were married in his church, which I understand. But yesterday during the Christmas service he was thinking about getting married in the church, but when I started to get more into the subject he said he wanted to get married outside. My HUGE concern is the wedding. To be honest, I will be horribly upset if it is too cold or rains on our wedding day. We already made the non-refundable downpayment ($400) for the outdoor site. The church would be for free and the community center would only cost us $500 compared to the $800 we still have to pay for the outdoor site. The only benefit of this outdoor wedding is that there is a house where my parents, his parents, and a few other relatives can stay and the dogs. The only option if it did rain would have to be holding the cermoney in the reception hall. It is already a very tight squeeze in there. At times, I want to kick myself for letting him pick and choice things for this wedding. And the guy that owns this place told us three hundred people could fit in there, ya right. You can only put 8 banquest tables on the first floor, and the second floor we can use but it's closed off. Then we can open up the barn doors on both sides and set tables out but in all honesty I would feel bad during that to my guests. The place is awesome, I'll admit to that, but I don't think people are going to walk around and check out the awesome stuff. We can not cut the guest list, we already did a major butcher job to it. So what do I do? <strong>Just say no and we are doing at the church</strong> or do i hope like no other the weather is not bad.  I know the wedding day is about us getting married, not the wedding, but if I am putting all thsi work into it I want to be happy too. Here is the site for the venue. <a href="http://thegrainerylodge.com/" rel="nofollow">http://thegrainerylodge.com/</a>
Posted by grizzly04[/QUOTE]

I hear you that you are worried about weather, but you might want to keep trying to find alternative rain plans, instead of trying to stomp your foot and force your fiance to do something he has clearly stated he does NOT want to do.

talk to the venue and see if they have any other rain alternatives other than having the ceremony in the reception space.  Also, consider reserving a tent.  Some rental places will let you pay a "reservation" deposit, and not pay the whole rental fee if you don't need it. 

I bolded the part that concerned me the most in your post.  You don't get to "Just say you are doing it in the church".  Even though you are putting a lot of work into this, and likely more work than your FI is putting into it, this is about BOTH of you.  You both have to work on a compromise that satisfies both of you.   Trying to force him into getting married at the church is really insensitive.

gailpete

I think you need to rethink your location or your guest list.  Your concern regarding a rain backup is valid.  You need to make sure there is someplace that can SEAT all 300 guests in the event of bad weather.  Did the owner tell you exactly how you provide seating for the reception for 300 people in the barn?  Those guests that are left on another floor or outside and cannot see the bride & groom or the reception activities are going to be upset.

You and your FI need to sit down and communicate about what is important.  If your current location will allow a tent to be set up that can fit everyone that may be an option.  Can you find another location that will accomodate all of your guests and still allow an outdoor ceremony.  Once you decide to invite people to your wedding and reception, their comfort must take precedence over your desire for a unique or beautiful location.