Wedding Ceremony in a Public Setting: Worried about non-attendees interfering

naomichan12

We are having our wedding ceremony and reception in a nice little lake-side park. We have rented a pavillion in the park for the reception and my in-laws think it would be good for the ceremony too. I could see the ceremony happening under/just outside the pavillion because it is a very nice view, but I really would like to be next to the water.. like ten feet away from it vs. hundreds of feet. 

 

Basically, there are a few little cove-type areas along the shore in the same park just a minutes drive up the road, and those are public swimming areas. The lake has said that we are allowed to use them for the ceremony, which would be a dream come true for me! But we are worried about how private we would be able to make it. The ceremony would be at our own risk, so if random splashing families decide to join us for the event I don't know what we would be able to do... 

Has anyone done something similar before? Is it worth it to hold the ceremony there and just keep someone on lookout (maybe hire someone?) to ask people politely to keep away from the area for 20 minutes? You would think that it is a general cultural understanding to give a couple their space, but I don't want to just rely on common courtesy. 

aragx6

Can you have chairs down there for the ceremony? If not, you should scratch this idea anyway. Every person needs a chair.

naomichan12

Yes, we will have chairs for everyone. 

SmithWedding815

So glad to see another knottie taking this risk. My Fi and I decided to have our ceremony at a state park infront of a water fall its beautiful but I was very worried about guests to the park also trying to include their selves in our moment which im sure ill be so focused our vows ill hardly notice, how ever it was a concern. We talked to the park attendant and she said since our wedding is in September it shouldnt be super busy. so we shouldnt have to much to worry about but she also said we couldnt rope off the area which I understand, but my FMIL said we will put our Larger taller guest near the outside and post lots of wedding signs and such.. When is your wedding? Are you going for a more modern or traditional reception? Im having a hard time making reception feel like a wedding reception not a birthday party....

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_wedding-ceremony-in-a-public-setting-worried-about-non-attendees-interfering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:666Discussion:fb196d49-bc59-4442-a081-1fa93388a852Post:a0edb743-bb33-487c-bd9e-fd7ea3f09f35">Re: Wedding Ceremony in a Public Setting: Worried about non-attendees interfering</a>:
[QUOTE] but I was very worried about guests to the park also trying to include their selves in our moment which im sure ill be so focused our vows ill hardly notice, how ever it was a concern.
Posted by SmithWedding815[/QUOTE]

I find this whole mentality a bit odd, honestly.  What do you think someone is going to do?  Wander up to where you and your fiance are saying your vows and sit between you? 

We married outside at a hotel.  We had guests seated on a deck, but there were many vantage points from elsewhere at the hotel where other people could watch the ceremony.  In fact, two rooms with balconies actually looked over the deck.

The day before I was a little nervous about the idea of "outsiders' watching our wedding, but once the day started, I didn't care one bit.  In fact, one awesome guest found me the next morning to get my email address - he had taken pictures and wanted to share them with me.  Many hotel guests complimented us and congratulated us.

No one... and I mean no one... tried to interfere, come to the wedding, sit in a chair, or attend our reception.  Give people a little credit.

WildMagelet

Also - if its a public park, there's probably rules against you interfering with other people's experience of the park.  Our special use permit specifies: Access to the area must be kept open to the public and weddings cannot interfere with normal visitor activity in any manner.  The park will not exclude nor allow permittee to exclude other park visitors from the site during the wedding ceremony or during event set up/removal.

You'd like to think that people would try to stay out of your general proximity (who really wants to be "that guy" in someone else's wedding photos?) - but if they don't its not the end of the world.  They have as much of a right to be there as you do.  

cwill6212

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_wedding-ceremony-in-a-public-setting-worried-about-non-attendees-interfering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:666Discussion:fb196d49-bc59-4442-a081-1fa93388a852Post:6db19c11-25c5-4cd3-aa6d-e2b0fc58a9eb">Wedding Ceremony in a Public Setting: Worried about non-attendees interfering</a>: [QUOTE] The ceremony would be at our own risk, so if random splashing families decide to join us for the event I don't know what we would be able to do... Posted by naomichan12[/QUOTE]

I am a little puzzled by this question/post too. While there ARE disrespectful people in this world, they are everywhere and could be an interference in a hotel ballroom or a church just as well as they could in a park or public lake. Odd.  

We married outside at a local park. We had a tent which our guests were seated under, the bridal party and me entered from the left side of the field and we stood close to the patio of our reception hall in front of the tent. There were 2-3 ballfields in the vicinity as well as a park of slides, swings and such--so we could have easily attracted outsiders. Even though we did gain some attention, everyone was very respectful (onlookers noticed and some stood for the bridal procession, the ballfield announcer possibly turned his microphone down to lessen the disturbance to our ceremony and we heard some additional clapping from the "extended crowd" once we were presented) No one tried to come to the wedding, sit under the tent or interfere in any way.

bunni727

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_wedding-ceremony-in-a-public-setting-worried-about-non-attendees-interfering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:666Discussion:fb196d49-bc59-4442-a081-1fa93388a852Post:9daa276f-32aa-4ac5-9163-a216e5f3f44d">Re: Wedding Ceremony in a Public Setting: Worried about non-attendees interfering</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Wedding Ceremony in a Public Setting: Worried about non-attendees interfering : I am a little puzzled by this question/post too. While there ARE disrespectful people in this world, they are everywhere and could be an interference in a hotel ballroom or a church just as well as they could in a park or public lake. Odd.   We married outside at a local park. We had a tent which our guests were seated under, the bridal party and me entered from the left side of the field and we stood close to the patio of our reception hall in front of the tent. There were 2-3 ballfields in the vicinity as well as a park of slides, swings and such--so we could have easily attracted outsiders. Even though we did gain some attention, everyone was very respectful (onlookers noticed and some stood for the bridal procession, the ballfield announcer possibly turned his microphone down to lessen the disturbance to our ceremony and we heard some additional clapping from the "extended crowd" once we were presented) No one tried to come to the wedding, sit under the tent or interfere in any way.
Posted by cwill6212[/QUOTE]


This was almost exactly how ours was, only we didn't have a tent. 

No one bothered us at all. Some people stood nearby for a few moments, but they didn't take real guests seats or anything. I'm sure it will be fine.

I have moderate social anxiety, and was worried about unknown onlookers in the beginning, so your question doesn't seem too strange to me.

bunni727

cwill, just noticed you are from KY. Can I ask where you got married?

naomichan12

Well, I think that the initial worry began when my in-laws brought it up as a reason for having the ceremony under the pavilion instead of by the water. I hadn't known anyone personally who had done it out in the open before so I didn't know what to expect, and I had read a story on another blog about a little kid playing in the sand by the pastor ordaining them while the mother watched... I have defnitely met people before who don't have much of a "social consciousness"...

But I think that your experiences give me confidence to bring it back up again as a potential ceremony site. I do imagine that most people would have respect enough to give us our space. It does help that the park costs money go get into so that should filter out most weirdos. 

naomichan12

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_wedding-ceremony-in-a-public-setting-worried-about-non-attendees-interfering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:666Discussion:fb196d49-bc59-4442-a081-1fa93388a852Post:a0edb743-bb33-487c-bd9e-fd7ea3f09f35">Re: Wedding Ceremony in a Public Setting: Worried about non-attendees interfering</a>:
[QUOTE]So glad to see another knottie taking this risk. My Fi and I decided to have our ceremony at a state park infront of a water fall its beautiful but I was very worried about guests to the park also trying to include their selves in our moment which im sure ill be so focused our vows ill hardly notice, how ever it was a concern. We talked to the park attendant and she said since our wedding is in September it shouldnt be super busy. so we shouldnt have to much to worry about but she also said we couldnt rope off the area which I understand, but my FMIL said we will put our Larger taller guest near the outside and post lots of wedding signs and such.. When is your wedding? Are you going for a more modern or traditional reception? Im having a hard time making reception feel like a wedding reception not a birthday party....
Posted by SmithWedding815[/QUOTE]

<div>I think I feel better about this now... I was really starting to feel like the naive one with a wedding dream when everyone else was experienced and practical. I mean I want everyone to be comfortable, but I really love the water! </div><div>Our wedding is in August, and I guess our reception would be closer to modern than traditional. We rented out a pavilion that is tucked away down the road, and will probably just drape white linens over the provided picnic tables. We will probably string those white Christmas lights to give it a more celebrational feel.. For us I think we are relying on the program and decorations to give it a wedding-y feel. Good luck! </div>

sunshine9779

I'm getting married in a public park and will be flattered if random people pause to watch us.  I don't see how it could ruin my day to have more people intrigued enough to partake for a moment.

naomichan12

Maybe I should have been more specific. I would be perfectly happy if passersby simply watched. What I was worried about is how to handle the situation if strangers/kids are running around in the vicinity or being noisy or something. I was wondering if anyone had ever encountered that before, and whether it should be a concern or not in a public setting. 

I think I am just going to go ahead and go for it though. 

bryceandalex

I TOTALLY agree with your concern. My sister got married on the beach and my mom had to ask a man to step away because he was standing there smoking a cigarette!
 Another concern is randoming people just watching and ending up in your wedding photos!

Amers337

In my experience people are generally pretty respectful!!  You'll for sure have spectators, but they'll probably just be well wishers wanting to watch the happy moment!  If you're super worried, just ask a couple of friends to hang in the back, to VERY POLITELY intercept anyone who is obnoxious!

Amy
http://bgweds.blogspot.com/

mrskristinyc

I've walked by a few weddings happening in Central Park, and sure, lots of people stopped to watch/point. But most people kept a respectful distance. I'm sure you'll be fine.

cwill6212

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_wedding-ceremony-in-a-public-setting-worried-about-non-attendees-interfering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:666Discussion:fb196d49-bc59-4442-a081-1fa93388a852Post:d037a707-4d70-42fb-9812-bd82506edd4c">Re: Wedding Ceremony in a Public Setting: Worried about non-attendees interfering</a>:
[QUOTE]cwill, just noticed you are from KY. Can I ask where you got married?
Posted by bunni727[/QUOTE]

Bunni, I sent you a PM.

stacywashington

Thanks for this post - we just went to the place we are considering - a well known park here in Phx and while the area is a seperate island (have to cross some water on bridges to get there)  I was worried about the same things.

The onlookers - not really intruding but I am not a fan of strangers invading in my special moment ( my fi and I talked about this and figured that we would both have tunnel vision and not be too concerned about it )

We considered the noise that others would be making around us - kids screaming etc...again thought we would be so caught up in the moment we wouldn't care. 

While I don't have any suggestions for the original poster - I have thanks for asking this and all the responses.

LDubHawksFan

We were thinking of getting married on the beach in front of a hotel and the coordinator said she's never had a problem, with the exception of one wedding where a German man in a speedo hung a little too close to the wedding and was in a bunch of photos.....we didn't end up going that route!  I was at a wedding where it was in a public location, but they had chairs set up.  I was utterly suprised how many tourists were taking pictures, but no one came and sat down or anything!  I think you will be ok, but if it worries you that much, then maybe stay in the pavillion.

Mrs.B6302007

We got married on a lawn that is connected to a very popular bike/jogging trail on one side and people's yards on the other.  Even though the trail was packed since it was a Saturday, not one person just wandered up and plopped themselves down with our wedding guests.  I'm certain a few stopped on the trail for a moment to watch (as I've done when walking past weddings at the Boardwalk at Disney) but no one interfered. 

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_wedding-ceremony-in-a-public-setting-worried-about-non-attendees-interfering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:666Discussion:fb196d49-bc59-4442-a081-1fa93388a852Post:5397a818-4bcf-490a-8345-657b8c39ae9f">Re: Wedding Ceremony in a Public Setting: Worried about non-attendees interfering</a>:
[QUOTE]Maybe I should have been more specific. I would be perfectly happy if passersby simply watched. What I was worried about is how to handle the situation if strangers/kids are running around in the vicinity or <strong>being noisy or something. </strong>I was wondering if anyone had ever encountered that before, and whether it should be a concern or not in a public setting.  I think I am just going to go ahead and go for it though. 
Posted by naomichan12[/QUOTE]

Nothing you can do about that.  There's going to be noise at an outdoor ceremony from birds, planes, car horns, etc.  We had no issues hearing our officiant or anything and even on our wedding video, the outdoor noises weren't terrible.

nlanca01

I understand your concern, my sister was concerned for her wedding when they decided on the wedding site. My sisiter was married at a public location back in 2010. It was along the Lakeshore at a rural boat launch. The cerimony was at the very end of the penninsula over looking the bay. It was a special place where my brother in law and his late grandfather would go fishing. the neighbor was great. she made sure her free range chickens were in there roost until after the cerimony and pictures and she watched from her porch and came to congradulate my sister and husband when we were getting ready to head to the reception. One person launched his boat quietly (he was quite a ways behind us) and sat and waited for the cerimony to end. he clapped when they were presented and even asked if we would like him to wait to go out in the bay until we were done with pictures so he wouldnt be in the background.

vlwayne

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_wedding-ceremony-in-a-public-setting-worried-about-non-attendees-interfering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:666Discussion:fb196d49-bc59-4442-a081-1fa93388a852Post:9b8da7fc-9225-4bc4-9e5e-a2222d01392a">Re: Wedding Ceremony in a Public Setting: Worried about non-attendees interfering</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, I think that the initial worry began when my in-laws brought it up as a reason for having the ceremony under the pavilion instead of by the water. I hadn't known anyone personally who had done it out in the open before so I didn't know what to expect, and I had read a story on another blog about a little kid playing in the sand by the pastor ordaining them while the mother watched... I have defnitely met people before who don't have much of a "social consciousness"... But I think that your experiences give me confidence to bring it back up again as a potential ceremony site. I do imagine that most people would have respect enough to give us our space. It does help that the park costs money go get into so that should filter out most weirdos. 
Posted by naomichan12[/QUOTE]

With the kid playing in the story his mother probably thought it would be more invasive to just run into the ceremony and grab him.  That being said she should have stopped him before he got that close.  But I agree that most ppl will stay back, although you might have someone swim into a pic if they are in the water and don't realise that they are that close.