This might take longer than expected

DivineWillowMama

My FH and I are actually thinking about postponing the wedding until next year. It makes me kind of sad and kind of relieved at the same time. Right now I'm just trying to look at the bright side. I'm sure it will hit me tonight when I try to go to sleep. I think this Mama might deserve a nice glass of wine before bed. Please don't get me wrong we are not in any way canceling, we are just trying to make a logical and practical decision. We are not financially ready to pay for all of the expenses this year. We have about 5 months to the original date that we had set and our budget is about $750 over budget with a lot of nips and tucks already. The plan is still the same, but instead of doing the wedding this July it would be in July 2011. I'm kinda sad. I need to think about my little ones though. I would like to enjoy the spring and summer gardening with my little girl. We also have some painting and redecorating in the house that needs to get done.

Soooooo, pretty much this gives me the chance to pay off my gown and have it altered, collect my accessories, and take care of all of the other things that need to be bought before big day. We will be saving a couple or a few thousand in a special wedding fund account for rentals, the cake, tuxedos, and flowers so next year's expenses won't be so big. I'm not going anywhere, but I figured I would just let you guys know. It's been a very hard decision to make, but in the end all of the same people will be there with us watching us take the next step in our lives.

cellarius

aww..hm well i know how it is. we had really wanted it this fall but we've pretty much decided that's too soon. i still don't have my ring, we'd like a longer engagement than what it would've been [not that long.. but fall's only once a yr so you have limited choices], also my mom's paying for it all & we can have a bigger budget if we wait, we just started looking at stuff & haven't decided anything really yet & we don't think we have time to do everything we want to do, & get it how we want without rushing etc. oh & i also have almost 70lbs to lose from our baby. ugh. & i don't know if i'll be able to do that by then since as of now i can't work out or barely move/do anything [because of complications & broken tailbone from having dd]. i think i have a much better chance of being able to lose it & be more healed & by next year. but i agree disappointed but relieved is a good way to put it. gl!

DivineWillowMama

cellarius - I'm hoping you will still be on theknot and we can throw ideas off of each other. I've really enjoyed reading your posts. I will definitely be on here and the gothic board. These two boards have captured me more than any of the others.  

It actually feels really good to have someone else that is in the same boat. It really does suck having to change my date, but then I realize how much I can get done in a year and spend more time with Willow and Chris. I just bought TONS of seeds for my garden, and I am so excited to get outside and grow beautiful things! I think I will be able to enjoy my life and the wedding planning process more if we wait until next year. It was a lot of hurry up and rush!

Since I have more time I will be able to get the save-the-date magnets and all of those little things that would be really fun to have. I also had to give up my three day honeymoon in Seattle which is actually REALLY important to me. Once we got a photographer our honeymoon was knocked out of the budget. So pretty much over the next year or so I will be putting together projects and designing "paper" things. It'll be fun. I think right now I need to just focus on that. It is kind of hard to swallow the whole change though....

JohnGalt32

I commend you for making a wise financial choice.  So many people get wrapped up in their "pretty princess day" that they neglect the other (more) important things in life.  We will have been engaged for a year and a half by the time we get married, and we chose to have a longer engagement so that we wouldn't have to go into debt for the wedding, and so that we could do important life things without the stress planning a giant party in a short amount of time.  I think your family will appreciate the additional time you can now spend together, and I know that I am envious of your ability to grow beautiful things!  I know it seems like a long time to wait, but really, July 2011 is only a year and a half away...if that makes it any better, I don't know.  Anyway, good luck.  

Nukke

I know just what you're going through.  By the time we get married, FI and I will have been engaged for 27 months!!!  We had to wait that long, though, because I don't want to come out of school debt, just to jump into wedding debt!  So we're paying off his student loans, saving money and THEN we'll get married.

I know it seems like a long time from now, but it really will go quickly.    Enjoy gardening with your little one!  Please come back to these boards when you can, too.  You've become a welcome fixture and we'll miss you!

kitkat887

Wow, this is actually amazing timing. We're postponing as well. It's for a good reason, but I'm pretty bummed about it, that's why I've been a little MIA. We're putting it off for at least a year, maybe two. I just got accepted to graduate school which threw a wrench in all our plans, in a way. (I wasn't really expecting to get accepted) and now that school is an hour and a half away, which may mean a move, and I stand a good chance at getting an assistantship, so I won't have debt, but I also won't be bringing as much money in as I would if I was working full time (I'm planning on working part time) So, for financial and sanity reasons, we're postponing and still figuring out when to. You're taking it much better than I am, divinewillow. It's hard when you put so much energy and planning into something and then have to turn around and change your plans.
At the end of the day, FI and I love each other and are building a life together and will be married. I'm going to try and adopt your attitude about it. At least we'll be in for a long road together, right?

hippie4yahweh

GL with this decision! With kids to consider, it does sound wise to wait and be sure that you have the cash available for everything.

GL!! I hope everything works out for you!

smallsmp8

I am so sorry and can only imagine your disapointment but knowing you have a wonderful FI who you can agree with over this decision and already a beautiful daughter to share, it sounds like a smart decision. I have definitely been inspired from some of your posts/your bio, so please stay around!! FI and I will have been engaged for a year and 9 months before we get married and we needed to do it to be financially secure with everything. I am glad we waited and your day will be even more amazing with the right funds and time to plan. Good Luck!!

Jenny8117

Im sad that you have to postpone....I know how you feel but only in a way.......I had the perfect wedding planned with a great guy, and then at the last minute he decided he didnt want to get married.  Not the right time.  So, I broke up with him and he met someone and married them 3 months later, after our 4 years of dating.  I was 24 at the time and 100% sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this person.  It was devastating and still is, but Im so glad I waited 4 more years to be engaged to a great person that is ready!  We arent putting this darn wedding off now! lol.  We will only have been engaged 8 months when we get married, but we will have been dating each other over 4 years. 

I know it's different that you two are a great couple!  But I guess the part I understand is having everything ready in your mind, and then having to wait........That can be hard, but you made a great decision.

amyteall

Sounds like you are taking this decision very well. It is so easy to get completely wrapped up in the planning, but it shows how level-headed you are that you were able to step back and make the best decision for you and your family. Sounds like you'll still get your dream wedding, it will just take a little longer than you first thought. I hope you stay on the boards! I love reading your comments!

HappyGoLuckyGal

I'm sending lots of encouragement your way! We've been engaged for 4 years because neither one of us wanted to get married and live in different states (got to love long-distance relationships). I'm 100% grateful that we've had the extra time even though there were times I thought it sucked.

The wedding we are planning now would be so different from the one we would have had 4 years ago. It's awesome to have more time to save and more time to gather ideas. Like Nukke said, the time does fly. I can't believe we are only 3 months away from our date. Your wedding will be special when it happens, and it's so important to be able to get married in a financially responsible way.

Just think of how much more knotting you will get to do.

GracefulMeadow86

life always seems to get in the way of wedding stuff, but its all for the best. what really matters is that you guys are a family already, married next year or the next, thats not going to change.

im actually a little jealous id like more planning time so i didnt get so stressed! lol

Ken&Cass

I've had quite a bit of difficulty with my fiancé so I can empathize. When we first got engaged I asked him when he would want to do it, he said sometime this summer (which was back in Dec 2009) I expressed to him that it would be a challenge to pull it off in that short of a time because most people set a date a year or more out, but he told me he didn't want to wait. Then when it came time to put in the deposit for the ceremony site, he started singing a different tune saying maybe we should wait until next year...
I told him that I wasn't going to change it and we are still doing it this summer although I think he would have liked to have waited until next spring, but you know once you get that ball rolling it's hard to stop it!