AAA Honeymoon registry?

ChiCat007

Hi all!  My FI and I really want to do a honeymoon registry (all the classic reasons - we have plenty of stuff, inheriting several sets of china and crystal, and we really love to travel).  A lot of the sites I've found online either charge a fee or basically tell your guests to write you a check in order to avoid fees.  Both of those really rub us the wrong way, because either we're not getting everything our guests want to give us, or we're basically using a pretty website to ask for money that they have no idea whether it will be spent on the honeymoon or not.  I've heard that AAA does a honeymoon registry, but we're having a hard time finding websites accessible to non-members with any helpful information!  We're happy to join to be able to make a registry, if it turns out to be what we're looking for, but I just don't want to pay the membership fee then realise that the registry stinks, and is just, say, a card you can mail everyone saying "please write us a check for our honeymoon".  We're calling and talking to the AAA travel agents, but we're still having a hard time getting clear answers.
Has anyone used a AAA honeymoon registry?  Was it a website where you could purchase specific experiences, or just contribute to a general paypal fund?  Any info from people with experience would be great!
Alternatively, does anyone have a recomendation for a honeymoon registry that I've missed?  One without fees, where the guests can buy you specific experiences (ie. not just give you $50 but give you $50 for a room service breakfast in bed or something)?
Thanks everyone!

charlsie26

Don't do a HM Registry, take the money people give you and go on a HM you can afford.  And no, you can't ask your guests for money/checks, that's VERY rude. Spread the news that you want money though word of mouth.  Tell your parents and your FI parents.  That way if a guest or family asks them what you want, they can tell them.  That's the only way to get the word out that you prefer cash. 

ChiCat007

What a rude response.  I posted a detailed comment on here looking for helpful advice, and you posted a rather snarky comment that had nothing to do with what I was asking, and is full of incorrect assumptions that show you didn't even read what I wrote!

First of all, I never said we were planning on taking a honeymoon we can't afford.  We can afford our honeymoon without a dime from anyone else.  But, since guests usually want to give gifts, I'd rather recieve the gift of a scuba diving excursion than a set of candlesticks I don't need, so I'd like to register accordingly.

Second, read my post!  I said _several times_ that the thing I did not like about some honeymoon registries was that they basically sent cards to people asking for checks.  I _don't_ want to do that, and am annoyed that the only sites that don't do that charge a hefty fee.  I don't want cash, I wouldn't prefer cash, and I have no idea what part of my post made you think that.

I want a registry where our guests can gift us experiences, if they'd like to, so I can say "how lovely that Aunt Martha, the foodie, gave us this fantastic dinner on the beach!" and not just one where they're sending money to a paypal account.

charlsie26

HM registrys, in all that I have seen or heard of, is just another way to ask for cash.  yes, they might say "here's $50 for breakfast in bed" but when the registry cuts you check,  the couple can do whatever they want with the money they recieve though a registry.  HM registrys, of any kind, is just a "hidden" way to ask for money. 

yuengling58

Register for a small amount of things you need - upgraded sheets, towels, etc. Have your wedding party and family spread by word of mouth that you would rather have money, but be prepared to get random gifts anyway. Honeymoon registries are viewed as very tacky and asking for money. Why not mention that you're saving for a downpayment on a house, etc. if you are? That may make your guests more likely to give you gifts of money than if they felt like they were paying for your honeymoon. There really isn't a polite way to write down that you would like money instead of presents, so word of mouth is normally the best.

girl2bewed

Trust me you aren't going to get the responses you want, if you look at past board posts you'll see that this is a very hated subject and people get very mean, so be prepared for a lot of honest opinions from the people who think these are rude and tacky.

But FYI Charlsie was not being rude, just honest about what she thinks and what she thinks is what 90% of the knot people think, so you are going to get the same response but likely not as nice as she put it!

That being said, the only site I found that doesn't charge a fee to you or your guests is honeyfund.com I dont know the differences w/this and your AAA registry so you can do that reseach and see which is better.

shauni27

i think you might want to contact your hotel/resort or travel agent directly.  both my TA and my resort allow people to do a honeymoon registy with them and the money that people contribute goes directly to the activity that the resort provides.  So example, say I "register" with my resort for couples massage, private beach dinner, and golf lessons, the guests could have the option of not buying off of my traditional registry, but instead calling the resort directly and paying for our massages, or part of our golf lessons, etc.  this way, the money goes directly to what you are asking for and not through another company and you just get the cash to do whatever you want with it.  we were going to do this, but decided it was just easier to do a small registry and use whatever cash we got towards our activities instead.  good luck!

MNVegas

Charlsie is giving great advice. You might want to actually use it instead of complaining about rudeness, which is really funny seeing you are being very rude to your guests by expecting them to pay for your HM. Like I always say, there is no polite way to ask for cash because asking for cash is just not polite no matter how you try to sell it. Also HM registries are very deceptive and misleading to your guests, but if you don't care about your guests and don't mind them talking behind your back...

BTW this is a public board and we have to right to write our opinions about anything posted.

maddie7

Watch out for registries, they keep a percentage of their $.  I agree with PP, when I was booking my honeymoon, a travel agent said they would give me cards that have their info on them to add to the shower invitations... didnt do that, but its out there.  Sandals also has things where people can buy you a massages, etc.  Good Luck- I say upgrade some stuff around the house!

Fink

ChiCat, I wish I could help you out with your actual questions, but alas I cannot since I don't know anything about HM registries.  But I feel for you because like you, I once asked a simple question about attire and invites and got several nasty responses that I didn't even come close to responding to my question.  Hopefully someone will respond to the questions you posed without offering unsolicited general opinions about the prudence of HMs.  Good luck!

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_aaa-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:e6f36fd7-bc62-47b4-9fe0-7f90b1dc2db0Post:ab84838f-66dd-454b-8bbd-4bb8e46b10cd">Re: AAA Honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]Watch out for registries, they keep a percentage of their $.  I agree with PP, when I was booking my honeymoon, <strong>a travel agent said they would give me cards that have their info on them to add to the shower invitations</strong>... didnt do that, but its out there.  Sandals also has things where people can buy you a massages, etc.  Good Luck- I say upgrade some stuff around the house!
Posted by maddie7[/QUOTE]

FWIW, showers are generally for boxed gifts. So I understand, OP, that you're going to go ahead and do the HM registry, but if someone offers to throw you a shower please ask them to just include your traditional registry info on the invites, not the HM registry. Might as well salvage some semblance of etiquette.

happywithhim715

Not sure if this helps. I did not do it but I have read it on other boards. I am neutral about the Honeymoon registry. I see the positives but I also see why people think its tacky. However, I previously read about a lady who was in the same boat (didnt need normal registry gifts) and she mentioned it to her bridal party. They threw her a "Honeymoon Shower." All of the guests knew of the theme and they received gifts for the honeymoon. She said she had booked her honeymoon through Liberty Travel and her guests were able to call the travel agent and buy actual items such as a massage for the couple at the hotel not just "here is $50 toward something." 

I had a co-worker do it as well, she picked excursions she was interested in and items she liked such as massages, and told the travel agent. If people called then she gave them the ideas, if no one called, no one called.

Honestly, I feel with a registry- regular or honeymoon, everyone has an opinion! People who register for regular stuff, people say "I cannot believe she picked out a mixer that is $200... or does someone really need an aero bed, etc." and if you pick to do the honeymoon registry, people complain "it's tacky or your guests shouldnt pay for your getaway."

I think if your guests want to buy you a nice massage they should be allowed and if they want to buy you sheets then they should! Remember its a gift...

fancynewbecca

Just google it, but don't go the the AAA website. There is another wedding site, and there's some info posted about it on their forums. I googled "aaa honeymoon registry". It was the second website, third link down.

For the record, I don't think Honeymoon Registries are tacky. It's only asking for cash if you don't use it in the way it's intended, which then makes it tacky. Just my opinion.