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Honeymoon

Honeymoon Planning Stress

Re: Honeymoon Planning Stress

  • I have been bouncing back and forth the idea of a HM as well and thinking about the amount of money it will cost.  We are paying for the big bulk of the wedding ourselves and at times the cost is overwhelming. But my FI and I have never really had a vacation together and I'm thinking that in a few years we will want to buy a house and have children. In a few years I would probably feel even more guilty going on an expensive trip!

    As far as where to go on a HM- think of what is important to you that you do when you are there. Snorkeling, relaxing, get massages, go on a sightseeing trip. We will probably do a cruise or AI island but we will see the excursions offered and choose based on what activities we want to do. You will enjoy wherever you go, so try not to stress too badly!

    Some websites for you to consider: gilttravels.com, groupon.com and go to the getaways section, and living social escapes- they have a "deal of the day" and you can get discounted rates.
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  • It definitely can be overwhelming.

    Does your FI feel the same way about a HM? It is a lot of money and it's not something you HAVE to do. My H and I love traveling so we were looking forward to our HM almost as much as the wedding and was a priority for us. I personally wouldn't go into debt over a vacation..

    Maybe you can take a 1 year anniversary trip instead or something?

    PP had some good suggestions for websites. I'd also throw in luxurylink.com. They've got lots of great deals, it's where we booked through. Another place you may want to look into is Puerto Rico. If you don't have a passport you're good (since it's a US commonwealth) and generally the flights are cheaper compared to a lot of other Carribbean destinations. Good luck and let us know if you have any other questions.
    June 16, 2012
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  • What about a cruise out of the west coast? Cruises tend to be on the cheaper side but still give you that vacation feel. If you can go on one within driving distance it would safe a plane ticket. I think with all the stress of wedding planning, it is nice to go away somewhere and spend some one on one time. You can certainly find something that feels like vacation and still within your budget. 
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-planning-stress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:eba6c0a2-30b5-40f3-a3b2-ec4568a0d7d1Post:31d02c14-2d2e-4fd8-b255-7fc51d66f032">Honeymoon Planning Stress</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I are having a really hard time deciding where to go on our honemoon. We are leaning more towards a Jamaica AI, but researching different options has gotten overwhelming. How do you choose? Plus, we're not big travelers (we've never been away from the west coast of the US) so planning a trip out of the country is overwhelming too. Then part of me thinks that we should be more practical and save the money for the future. <strong>We are paying for our entire wedding, and if all goes according to plan, we will have cash for the wedding but have to charge the honeymoon. If we're going into a good chunk of debt,</strong> I feel guilty not spending that money towards a car or downpayment for a house or...etc etc. But cheaper options (like, "go camping!" "stay at a bed and breakfast two towns away!") don't really feel like a honeymoon to me. We've never gotten to do anything really nice for ourselves before. We have been together 10 years (getting married on our 11th anniversary!) so I really want to celebrate how far we've come and relax and enjoy ourselves...but I'm overwhelmed with making decisions and I feel guilty about the cost. Anyone else struggle with this? Anyone have tips on deciding on a resort? Any advice is appreciated, but really, I just needed to vent. My girlfriends all think I'm crazy (the single ones travel all the time so they don't get the stress factor, and the married ones honeymooned locally so I feel like a spoiled baby complaining to them.) I guess I'm mostly feeling overwhelmed and alone, so thank you for listening Knotties! <3
    Posted by CraftyViolet[/QUOTE]

    What happens if all doesn't go according to plan? You are going to have to charge parts of the wedding?  And, even IF all goes according to plan, you will still need to charge your honeymoon?

    It sounds like you cannot afford a honeymoon.   Do not start off your marriage in debt over a honeymoon! Go somewhere for the night and save for a nice trip for your one year anniversary.
  • I agree with PP - you shouldn't be charging a vacation.  If you can't afford to pay for it in cash, don't go and take a 1 yr anniversary trip some place you can afford.  My inlaws were originally going to pay for our honeymoon, but then had to pull out.  Was it a bit of a bummer?  Yes because now we can't go to europe.  But we're taking a mini-moon somewhere closer for 3-4 days and then doing the big trip overseas to celebrate our 1 yr/law school graduation/yay the bar exam is over.  We'll be able to afford it at that time.  The wedding industry does a really REALLY good job of brainwashing brides into thinking that if they don't go someplace ridiculous for their honeymoon they are either 1) a failure and/or 2) will never make travelling to those fun destinations a priority in their life ever again.  Frankly, that's just not true, and for most brides I know their honeymoon falls at a time in their life when they really can't afford to take that ridiculous vacation.  Do something close and romantic for a few days (if you can afford it!) and then do a bigger thing to celebrate your one-year.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-planning-stress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:eba6c0a2-30b5-40f3-a3b2-ec4568a0d7d1Post:31d02c14-2d2e-4fd8-b255-7fc51d66f032">Honeymoon Planning Stress</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I are having a really hard time deciding where to go on our honemoon. We are leaning more towards a Jamaica AI, but researching different options has gotten overwhelming. How do you choose? Plus, we're not big travelers (we've never been away from the west coast of the US) so planning a trip out of the country is overwhelming too. <strong>Then part of me thinks that we should be more practical and save the money for the future.</strong> We are paying for our entire wedding, and if all goes according to plan, we will have cash for the wedding but have to charge the honeymoon. If we're going into a good chunk of debt, I feel guilty not spending that money towards a car or downpayment for a house or...etc etc. But cheaper options (like, "go camping!" "stay at a bed and breakfast two towns away!") don't really feel like a honeymoon to me. We've never gotten to do anything really nice for ourselves before. We have been together 10 years (getting married on our 11th anniversary!) so I really want to celebrate how far we've come and relax and enjoy ourselves...but I'm overwhelmed with making decisions and I feel guilty about the cost. Anyone else struggle with this? Anyone have tips on deciding on a resort? Any advice is appreciated, but really, I just needed to vent. My girlfriends all think I'm crazy (the single ones travel all the time so they don't get the stress factor, and the married ones honeymooned locally so I feel like a spoiled baby complaining to them.) I guess I'm mostly feeling overwhelmed and alone, so thank you for listening Knotties! <3
    Posted by CraftyViolet[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>In response to the bolded section, we felt the same way.  We're getting married 11/2 and closing on our house 11/15.  We also plan on starting a family right away.  We looked into AI resorts and it just didn't make sense to us to spend that kind of money with everything else going on.  However, we didn't want to NOT do a honeymoon because this is likely to be our last trip just the two of us.  So we booked a cruise.  For less than $1,500, we get to visit 4 Caribbean destinations and it includes all of our food.  Can't beat that deal.

    </div>
    21811_10151174643987291_1046283999_n_zpsddfa358c Anniversary BabyFruit Ticker
  • To be honest, we didn't want to scrimp on our HM, so we saved up for over a year for it.  We didn't have much money for groceries every month, but I wouldn't take back the money we spent on our HM for a second.  Like you, we had already been together a while when we got married, so we wanted to take a "trip of a lifetime".  It was worth every penny.  

    If you are good with your credit and savings, I say book the trip if you have a plan to pay for it.  Just don't book with a *book now, figure out how to pay for it after* type of attitude.  

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-planning-stress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:eba6c0a2-30b5-40f3-a3b2-ec4568a0d7d1Post:45bf0ff1-b3c4-4b9d-ba47-35bf4d6e2866">Re: Honeymoon Planning Stress</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thank you for the advice, everyone! I really do appreciate it. A few thoughts: I'm really not that worried about charging it, because we still would be limiting ourselves to a budget that would be paid off well within a year of the wedding. We are very careful with our credit and savings, so it's not so much a matter of worrying about debt as it is worrying about whether or not we should prioritize a honeymoon over saving for the future. Do other brides really do all of this without debt? Maybe a lot of people get help from families, which is not going to happen for us. We have compromised on so many things- we live in a tiny apartment, we drive an old used car, I went to a college I didn't care for- all because we are practical and cautious about everything. We have never done anything just for us. Even having a wedding feels extravagant and at times ridiculous for us, even though we are going much smaller and more practical than most weddings. As PP's have said, we're planning on having kids and moving into a better home after the wedding. If we wait, it will only be easier for us to talk ourselves out of spending the money, "why spend $2000 on us when we could save for our child's future?" etc. I know we could prioritize saving for an anniversary trip, but inevitably life will get in the way and we probably won't. We aren't getting married until next year, so we do still have time to think about it. I really appreciate all of the suggestions & advice.
    Posted by CraftyViolet[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Yes brides do pay for weddings without going into debt.  They do things like buying off the rack dresses, using parks and things as venues, having an ipod instead of a DJ, etc.  All you need to get married is a license and an officiant, and maybe a couple of witnesses.  The rest is just bonus, even if it's a bonus you thought about having your entire life.   The best way to save on the wedding itself is to limit your guest list.  Also consider skipping the rehearsal so that you aren't required to pay for a rehearsal dinner.  It's not always fun, but plenty of people do it.</div><div>
    </div><div>If you think you can pay it off reasonably, then I guess go ahead and charge it.  I'm just not a person who carries a balance on a credit card for anything ever, and I think it would have to be a medical emergency type thing that would convince me that carrying a balance is a good idea.  I personally would not do that for a vacation, even if it was the dream of a lifetime, but I'm sure plenty of people can carry a balance without going into debt to the point where it becomes problematic.  Just be cautious and have a plan.</div><div>
    </div>
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-planning-stress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:eba6c0a2-30b5-40f3-a3b2-ec4568a0d7d1Post:45bf0ff1-b3c4-4b9d-ba47-35bf4d6e2866">Re: Honeymoon Planning Stress</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thank you for the advice, everyone! I really do appreciate it. A few thoughts: I'm really not that worried about charging it, because we still would be limiting ourselves to a budget that would be paid off well within a year of the wedding. We are very careful with our credit and savings, so it's not so much a matter of worrying about debt as it is worrying about whether or not we should prioritize a honeymoon over saving for the future. <strong>Do other brides really do all of this without debt?</strong> Maybe a lot of people get help from families, which is not going to happen for us. We have compromised on so many things- we live in a tiny apartment, we drive an old used car, I went to a college I didn't care for- all because we are practical and cautious about everything. We have never done anything just for us. Even having a wedding feels extravagant and at times ridiculous for us, even though we are going much smaller and more practical than most weddings. As PP's have said, we're planning on having kids and moving into a better home after the wedding. If we wait, it will only be easier for us to talk ourselves out of spending the money, "why spend $2000 on us when we could save for our child's future?" etc. I know we could prioritize saving for an anniversary trip, but inevitably life will get in the way and we probably won't. We aren't getting married until next year, so we do still have time to think about it. I really appreciate all of the suggestions & advice.
    Posted by CraftyViolet[/QUOTE]


    Absolutely!  When we got engaged, we sat down and figured out what we wanted and what we were willing to spend.  We have a separate savings account for the wedding and honeymoon that we funnel money into every paycheck.  We will not be charging anything.  Sadly, many people do not do this.....they want everything NOW and don't want to wait and save for it.  

    Again, I wouldn't charge it, but hey, it's your credit....knock yourself out.
  • imo-a vacation is no reason to go into debt. sure its your HM but it's still just a vacation. you and FI have to compromise. you also have to consider what if you dont get the amount you think you will for your wedding?

    that issue aside-you seem like youd really benefit from a great travel agent. ask friends and family for a recommendation (or here-many brides have recs). that will get you past some of the worry about going further than you have before.

     

  • I think I have misrepresented myself a bit. Believe me, I know all about being practical, planning, and avoiding debt. We are having 35 guests at our wedding, no dj, we are making the cake ourselves, my dress is off the rack. I know we will be able to pay for the wedding completely because we have carefully outlined savings goals that we meet every month. I am not remotely naive or irresponsible. We also will not be maxing out our credit cards in the least. We would have the trip paid off within 8 months, and we still would have plenty of available credit and an emergency fund for medical emergencies, etc. So really, this isn't about debt as much as it is feeling nervous about spending money on ourselves, being indulgent for the first time and most likely last time...at least until after we have grown children and a healthy retirement fund. I really appreciate everyone's feedback. It has helped me think things over.
  • Crafty, you and I are two peas in a pod!  I am so diligent about money and savings...all of my friends call me a tight wad because I literally plan out every last dollar I have.  Since FI and I have bought our house, we have been slowly saving up for our wedding.  We will be charging our HM, but that is all we're charging...the remainder of our 12k wedding is being paid in cash, by the two of us. 

    I don't think you should feel guilty at all!  Life is short, and you seem to have a smart head on your shoulders.  The fact that you even have a payment plan made out for the HM charge, already, speaks volumes!  I felt exactly the same when we first started talking about HM plans.  I have put myself through college, while helping my parents out financially.  I've worked since I was 14, and have always been responsible for my own expenditures.  The large amount we were spending on the HM was worrying me, because I had never spent that much money EVER!  But, in the end, this is something that FI and I really wanted for ourselves.  After 9 years together, this will be our first major trip together, aside from weekend trips here and there.  We wanted it, and it may seem irresponsbile to some, but we are going to have it.  If the only thing that's bothering you is the the guilt of being extravagant for the first time, then I think you should do it!  Enjoy yourselves before you become bombarded with regular day-to-day responsibilites after marriage Sealed
    Anniversary
  • I agree with others...just do what you can comfortably afford and what you would both enjoy. It's not worth it to start off your marriage in debt. You can always save up and take ur dream vacation later on. I have some friends who skipped the big honeymoon and did an incredible one year anniversary vacation! You could do a low key honeymoon and put the money towards something necessary for your future. You could also do a cruise that leaves from a city near you So that you don't have to pay for flight tickets. Cruises are very reasonable! Good luck!
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