Honeymoon Registry

Jessatodd

I really want to set up a honeymoon registry.  Has anyone ever done this? Did it work for you and how did you go about doing this?  It  would be my luck that the company I pick would be a scam. 

Thanks for your help.

shauni27

read down a few posts.  you will see that most people do not support these registries on this website, but those who do often suggest honeyfund.com.  but scroll down for a bunch of conversations on this.

SonaliPop

I'm with the poster above. You'll get a lot of flack on it and I wouldn't personally do it, but a matter of personal preference. I only know one person who has done it and I have heard good things about honeyfund also. Be careful - some of these sites take a percentage of the money for themselves.

AmoroAgain

Just put this on your invites:

Money, it's a gas
Grab that cash with both hands
And make a stash

New car, caviar, four star daydream
Think I'll buy me a honeymoon dream

duckie1905

Just ask your guests for money.  Just as rude and at least they don't have to pay a fee to give you a gift.

texas1805

I just want to say when people post comments about how rude or tacky it is to set up a honeymoon registry they are not helping you out with your question. If you post "is it tacky to have a honeymoon registry?" then I would expecte the rude comments on how they feel! Yes it's a bit rude to ask someone to pay for your honeymoon but it's alos rude to ask for  your bed sheets too! But times have changed and it's the new thing that will be catching on so get used to it! Many people what to give you gifts!  Now, with that said, I'm looking for a good honeymoon registry too. I was torn between doing it or not. But my thinking was Im only getting married once and only having one honeymoon so If im going to ask people for gifts might as well get what I want. I have checked out some of the sites and they do charge a fee. I'm not liking that! I also have read that if you select an activity and if you change your mind and don't want to do it you don't get the money your guest paid! And if you pick something you have to do it!  I have read on another post  that the money was being deposited into there account via paypal throught honeyfund.com ! So please let me know what you find out!

JuliaATL

I have done a lot of research on honeymoon registries.  I have owned my own home for 4 years and have lived with my fiance for a year, so we don't need many household items.  A friend did a honeymoon registry a few years ago and I thought it was a great idea - I would rather give her money for a great experience than buy her some towels that she would replace in a few years.

As the previous posters mentioned, most sites charge a 7% transaction fee to recoup their costs, and some even charge a 3% credit card fee on top of that.  So far the only fee-free site I've found is honeyfund.com.  But it's free because it provides less services - basically guests can either transfer money to you via paypal, which will be associated with the 'gift' they selected to purchase, or they can print out a page with the 'gift' and put it with a check and give it to you with a wedding card.  The sites with fees take the money and deposit it directly into your bank account, so there is no extra work for the guests to do.

I discussed this with my bridesmaids (all married) because I wasn't sure it was appropriate, and they all said, Do it!  I know the older guests will buy me traditional gifts, but I think a lot of my friends will buy something off the honeymoon registry.

We didn't register for many household items, so when they run out, guests will either buy something they pick out or give us money, so why not make them feel like they're giving us money that will go toward something they selected?

dannifer512

I'm from Canada so I'm not sure how much this will help, things might be different in different countries, but..
a friend of mine got married last August, and her travel agent with whom she booked her honeymoon had a "honeymoon registry" sort of thing. It kept track of which guests paid how much, and then after their honeymoon they wrote their thank you cards, and said "because of your gift,we were able to go on a dinner cruise the first night we were in Hawaii", etc. etc.
There were no fees either, the travel agent didn't keep a cent of the money that was given to them, and there were no fees for the guests either.
Maybe see if your travel agent does it too??

alithebride

texas-it's not new. it's been around for a while now.

shauni27

one thing to think about too--when we were thinking about doing this we spoke to our travel agent about it.  she said if we did it through her she would literally use the money sent in to buy our excursions and that she could not even give us the cash at all.  the money went through her to book activities, etc.  if you do not want to use a registry that just gives you cash and seems deceitful to guests, and takes a fee, you might consult your travel agent or honeymoon resort/hotel/location directly. 

girl2bewed

If you are going to go with a website, honeyfund is definately the one to go with. As one of the other posts explained there is no fee for your guests to send you money and the website never handles any of the money. She explained it pretty well.. its the best HM registry site in my opinion. Travelers Joy was a close 2nd but they DO charge a fee. And to answer someones question about the activities, since your guest pays the money directly to your paypal account or via check/cash to you, they dont actually purchase the activity. you get the money and then spend on which activities/parts of your honeymoon you want, the guest is just under the impression their portion went to the activity they paid towards.

demarcosjd

We are also using Honeyfund.com I think It depends on your circle of friends and guests if it will go over well with them. We have gotten great feedback from our guests who think it is a great idea! Any item that is purchased off our registry we will be taking a picture of us doing the activity and sending it in the thank you card so they know that's exactly what their money went towards. We also have 2 traditional registries for those who might not want to buy off the HM registry. There are sites out there that don't charge a fee and we have 2 other friends that are using their travel agents and have had a great experience using a registry through them. If you think it will be accepted by your guests and only you will know best then go for it!

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:ee0ccb3b-041d-4204-b41d-02fdcddf6d00Post:141928fb-12e4-40b8-86a8-e28b92abc524">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry : exactly. Whoever is posting about the travel agent just giving you a check for the cash paid for an excursion is wrong. It's funny how all these girls bash the HM registry idea, and "know so much about them", <u><strong>yet they haven't actually gotten one themselves and experienced one-on-one how they work</strong></u>.
Posted by crushme8602[/QUOTE]

You are right.  Because we are not tacky, clueless brides who are asking our guests to pay for our honeymoon.

The fact that you are trying to wrap it up in a pretty little bow by calling it a "registry" is laughable.  You are expecting your guests to pay for your vacation.  Its as simple as that.  You might was well set up a cover charge booth at the front door of your venue.  Its the same thing.

Asking for cash is NEVER ok.  Period.

katwalk23

Keep in mind, it's illegal for gays to get married in most states. Lots of people think it's uncool for second-time brides to wear white. And on and on. You can always find someone to judge you but do your own thing! 

I think it's an awesome idea and I'm doing the same thing. I don't think anyone will die of shame if they buy us some scuba lessons instead of bedsheets and pillowcases! Our friends think it's a great idea. But then again, we have open minded, progressive friends who kinda blaze their own trails anyway. 

And why should I register for stuff I don't need? I'm an adult--I have nice kitchenware. 

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:ee0ccb3b-041d-4204-b41d-02fdcddf6d00Post:110411e1-703b-48ad-a47b-da74b419825b">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
[QUOTE]Keep in mind, <u><strong>it's illegal for gays to get married in most states. Lots of people think it's uncool for second-time brides to wear white</strong></u>. And on and on. You can always find someone to judge you but do your own thing!  I think it's an awesome idea and I'm doing the same thing. I don't think anyone will die of shame if they buy us some scuba lessons instead of bedsheets and pillowcases! Our friends think it's a great idea. <strong><u>But then again, we have open minded, progressive friends who kinda blaze their own trails anyway</u></strong>.  And why should I register for stuff I don't need? I'm an adult--I have nice kitchenware. 
Posted by katwalk23[/QUOTE]

Your examples have nothing to do with etiquette.  You are confusing tradition and etiquette.  2 completely different things.

There is nothing "open minded" or "progressive" about asking for cash.  And that statement just makes you sound like a snob. Get over yourself.

If you do not need anymore "stuff" and have nice kitchenware, then don't have a shower.  Its as simple as that.

You are right.  You <em><strong>are</strong></em> an adult like you say.  So pay for your own vacation like adults do.

I also find it sketchy that you only have 2 posts, and both happen to be about honeymoon registries.  Vendor much?

katwalk23

It's not asking for cash. It's asking for scuba lessons and plane tickets. Seems to me adults asking for bedsheets from Uncle Jim is way tacky. 

Our guests think it's a great idea and are excited we are doing it. 

Macy's profits when they sell you Vera Wang stemware, and if honeyfund or whatever does too, well, it's a service and needs to be supported. 

katwalk23

Not sure what "vendor much?" means....

just finished setting up a honeyfund page for registry. costa rica, here we come!

feeling much better about not having guests buy us sheets and plates...I know almost everyone does it, but it skeeved me out. this is the evolution of registering!

so far everyone loves the idea of buying plane tix, horseback rides on the beach, windsurfing, boat rides, scuba excursions, etc.  even the old folks think it's great!

katwalk23

I also wear white shoes whenever I want to, even after Labor Day....so there ya go, judgey-brides/church ladies!

RastUmbarger

Wow... The fact that some people are such Bridezillas that they need to tell everyone else what to do with their wedding is appalling.

Personally, my opinion (which you can feel free to take or leave) is that if you offer up the choice of a regular registry (which, btw people used to think was just as tacky and gauche as the newer honeymoon registries) or a honeymoon registry, then all generations and sensibilities will be satisfied. The whole point of a registry is so that people can get you something that you want, and plenty of people used to think that was just as bad becuase they were being "told" what household items the bride and groom needed instead of being able to pick something out on their own.

With every generation there is a new "impersonal" touch, that is really just the bride and groom saying, "this is something we really want, and if you'd like to contribute to that, here's how to do so."

Honeymoon registries SHOULD be personal, in that you should only register for things that you really want (and how much more meaningful that you DO register for things you really want, than for an extra set of China or Crystal that you don't), and then let the guests know how much you enjoyed that portion of your trip in your thank you note. Another bride mentioned taking pictures of herself and her groom on their honeymoon at each of the activities and including it in the thank you note, which is an even more personal and thoughtful way to say thank you - as I doubt most brides take pictures of themselves using their regular household items and include those.

I hope that some of what I said was useful, please ignore all the judgemental people out there and remember that it's YOUR day and your life and as long as you approach it with sensitivity then there is no reason for anyone to be offended.