July 2012 Weddings

MsOH problems! A bit long...

One of my maids of honor sent me a message on facebook  and I thought I would share...stressed me out need to share...

  • . I can't deal with Jennifer, she just plans everything, then calls me in the middle of the night and basically tells me to do my part, she proceeds to say "o i'll pay for everythin, I got it" I make suggestions and because she doesn't like them completly disregards them. Yes we did lose contact, but I had emailed her, facebooked her trying to get in contact with her, I have also texted. But she seems to think her problems are bigger then mine and her life is more important. She also thinks throwing money at everything solves all problems. I say kareoke she says no we will do miami, I say wine tour she says puerto rico cause she has a contact. I say "o I can contact the other girls and she says "no I'll do it cause I know them".

 

 

  • She just told me about the bridal shower and its a Tiffany theme she already took it upon herself to order everything and do it at her house acting like I haven't done sh#t. And you know what maybe I haven't because she HATES all my ideas. I wanted Mary Poppins, or a tea bar in Park slope,etc....just ideas but she took it ALL over and is treating me like sh°t cause she planned it all and I didn't help her because I didn't know what the f°ck she was doing. I said I think we should do it at Nancy's house and she said your backyard was ghetto. she already booked the food, bar tenders, decorations, etc.....she paid for it all and treats me like I'm poor. Its all about money for her, she is a stuck-up bitch.

 

 

  •  She has planned all of this and there is nothing I can do about it. I plan on doing my own specail thing with you, I will go along with all her plans and help her where ever I can. I will be polite and nice and follow all her instructions, amd the only reason I won't knock her the f°ck out is because I love you and you WILL have a drama FREE wedding. It will be nice and memorable. Please don't start drama by telling her all this, let's just keep this btw me and you PLEASE she already got snippy on the phone as she told me to pick up the slack. Great I'm glad I got that out of the way.

 

 

I feel so BAD.  I had a feeling this would happen with them.  The one who wrote this has been my best friend for 25 years (this is our silver anniversary year) and my other best friend has been my best friend for like 22 years. I LOVE them both. I didn't want to be that person with 2 MOH but how could I choose one over the other (this is when a sister would have come in handy or a close cousin that lives in the country!)   I had told my 25 year BM to stand up to the other BM right from the start and not to let her takeover (as I knew she would). 

Any advice?  Should I just stay out of it?

weddingcake-1

Re: MsOH problems! A bit long...

  • I would stay out of it. I think you should let the two of them work it out.
  • I agree stay out of it or your just gonna get caught up in the middle of it and have everyone angry at everyone.  They're big girls right? They should be able to resolve this on their own.  If the '22 year" BM starts complaining about the "25 year" Bm about not helping tell her to give her a few "jobs"  and leave it at that.
    . Anniversary aandt image
  • Ah what a mess. I think it's a shame that your bridesmaid involved you, although I understand that best friends vent to each other about everything... I agree with PPs though, stay out of it. Especially since your friend asked you not to say anything to the other MOH.

    What I would do is write back to your friend who messaged you, reinforce that you are completely fine with her taking a step back for her own sanity, if she chooses. I would also make sure to plan a special day for just the two of you. It doesn't have to be wedding related, but just to show her that you appreciate her putting up with a difficult co-MOH for you.

    Good luck!
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  • Ever single one of my bridesmaids doesnt really care for eachother except my 2 future sister in laws. I recently posted about kinda the same thing. My sister the moh shooting everyones ideas down. I told them to just go and do whatever they want and she will just have to deal with it. It isnt about the money, the people, nor the gifts. Its a celebration. Maybe tell your concerned friend to just back off and let the other one plan everyting. Think of it as her saving money by not having to help her to the extent that she needs. Just show up and help as needed. Then the 2 of you do something special together. ALONE!
    pregnancy calendar
  • I would stay out of it.  I dont think she is trying to involve you, necessarily, she probably just really needed to vent and if you have been best friends for 25 years I am guessing you are the person she turns to for venting!  Hugs to you though, that sucks!  Its too bad that one of them cant plan the shower and the other one plan the bachelorette party so they both have one thing to handle and its not one person taking over everything, etc.  Its things like this that make me so happy I am not having any BM/MOH so I dont have to deal with any drama.
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  • @AJMOM...in the end that's what I told my friend to do...I told her to plan the bachelorette. Maybe I should have stayed out of it but I know that she wanted to feel like she's done something.  So since my other MOH planned the whole bridal shower I told her to take over the Bach party.  I hope everyone comes out of this thing alive!! 
    weddingcake-1
  • And Melissa!  We are in the same boat!  None of my BMS really know each other or care for each other and I just thought everything would work out fine.  I was so wrong!
    weddingcake-1
  • Ugh, you poor thing. How frustrating! I can understand her wanting to say something because she probably wanted you to know that if it seemed like she wasn't "stepping up" it really wasn't the case.

    I'm sorry you're dealing with this! I'm so lucky that my 8 BMs are being friendly! They barely know each other. Maybe that'll change after bachlorette party and bridal shower . . . lol
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