Tacky or not? You decide!

[Deleted User]

Okay so... I hate bachelorette parties. But they say I must celebrate. Fine. If I must I want a 3 day cruise where we can tan instead of bar hop. (Okay, or we can tan AND bar hop, whatever lol)Now... I've mentioned this before and I need an opinion since this isn't any normal outing, it's a vacation. Is it okay to send out an email to my sorority sisters that I'm semi close to (but that aren't invited to the wedding because i don't see them that much) saying that even though I would LOVE to have everyone at the wedding I can't but I would love to party with them on this cruise? Would you be offended? Thoughts?

melissainabq

I would be offended that I'm good enough to drop money for a cruise but not good enough to attend the wedding.

cinthia122

I would not be offended.  We are in the middle of a recession and have to cut cost, and people have to understand this.

courtneybrooke921

This is tough. I have to admit I'd be a big offended and probably wouldn't go. Just my opinion - I know you're trying to mean well by including everyone but if no invite for the wedding, no bach.

[Deleted User]

Also-- on that same note does everyone invited to the wedding HAVE to be invited to the bach party?

Vicki2914

I dont think its right to invite ppl to showers or b parties but not the wedding. Sorry!!

PinkShoesGal

I do not think it is a good idea. All the girls who are invited to your bachelorett party need to be invited to the wedding. Otherwise, it's just awkward.

courtneybrooke921

to that question, the answer is NO! I'm having a sleepover - (no joke - I hate bars lately and I don't want to be in one for the simple fact that I'm supposed to) and I'm inviting my closest girlfriends (about 15-20 girls)

[Deleted User]

Yeah... I see where this is going. LOL okay, I will stick to my guest list and select just the closest ones.

[Deleted User]

and Court-- I LOVE that idea. I hate the whole "male body part" straws and cakes etc. Vomit.

anovaxo

I wouldn't be offended. As you know my bachelorette is on a cruise as well & I have guys/girls going for the fun of it but they know they're not invited to the wedding. A lot of them just want to be part of the pre-wedding celebrations.

melissainabq

I guess I'm the cautious type that probably would rather air on the side of caution since the last thing you want to deal with in the months leading up to your wedding is hurt feelings. You'll have plenty of other stuff to stress over. :-)

rclnd83

Its a sticky situation. I think you want it to be noted that it is also a vacation. RIGHT?Be careful with this situation. Some girls can get offended and confused with the whole trip and its purpose. If the girls arent snarky...then... maybe it might work.Still its all sticky. Try not to send out the wrong message. GL

mhfigueredo

I think it's definitely not OK to invite someone to a bachelorette party and not invite them to the wedding.  I would be upset. But I do think it's OK to invite someone to a wedding and not invite them to the bachelorette party.    

alexisrouse00

I'm with you Monica about the bar hoping thing. But I can't say I wouldn't be hurt that I was invited to the B-party and not the wedding.

glitrgrl25

Going on a cruise to celebrate your last days of bachelorette-ness is a large investment of time and money.  They should also be invited to the wedding.  it's the right thing to do.  Then they can decide for themselves if they want to attend both.

Engagey

I think it all depends. Some distant sorority sisters of m know they aren't invited to the wedding (for obvious reasons of the economy, etc) but they still want to spend some time with me before getting married and are willing to go to my bach party and get me a lil something. Now I wouldn't invite them to my bridal shower though . Guests for bridal shower will only be guests attending wedding as well.I think bach parties are more fun and less casual. I have gone to bach parties where I wasn't invited to weddings and I didn't care. I had a great time!

eagles.fan1234

i don't think it's tacky as long as people know up front that they are not invited to the wedding. If you explain it to them beforehand, then they are choosing to come eventhough they aren't invited.  I'm doing something like this for my engagement party. My wedding is small (like 60 peeps) and I can't invite all my family plus some can't afford to fly down here, so my mom is inviting everyone to the engagement party up north but telling them on the invitation that my wedding is going to be small so they don't think they are invited to it. 

[Deleted User]

Thanks for your replies girls!

**Octoberbride09**

I'd be a litte offended. Honestly.

goldie3474

While I see why you want to invite them it's not worth the possibility of hurting their feelings if they are not coming to the wedding. I'd say prob dont invite them

millenia98

Gotta agree. That's a big no-no. If they're not invited to the wedding, no bachelorette party. I would be offended and probably wouldn't go either.

heathermckelvey

I'm sorry, but I have to agree that some might get offended. Yes we are in a recession and many brides are cutting back, but I would think they would take it as you don't have the extra money to include me as a guest to your wedding, but you want me to pay for a 3 day cruise to celebrate it? Trust me, I struggled with the same decision, but I have decided I am inviting who I can to the wedding and not inviting anyone that isn't invited to the wedding to any pre-wedding parties. I just don't want to risk hurting anyone's feelings and potentially having to deal with unnecessary drama because of it. A cruise is a cruise and it will be awesome with 2 girls or 20 girls...