So I have a teeeeny tiny dilemma....

[Deleted User]

... and I need your advice. FI and I were going over our budget last night and as of right now we are a tad bit over. This freaks me out big time. So, we we're thinking of perhaps lowering our guest count just so we can have a little cushion to play with. We tried cutting down on the family side but, unfortunately we it didn't help. So, we we're thinking of cutting some friends/coworkers. The only issue here is how do I break the news to them that I cant invite them? I havent given any of them any save the date magnet/cards yet because I didnt know who exactly would be going yet. The only thing they recieved were these hersey's kisses that had our wedding date under them only because I had a million of them left over from our engagement party and I figured i would take it to work to not have so much chocolate around. Is it a bad idea to explain to them my situation? Would it be rude since they know about it already and some might be going and others wont? Soooooo torn on what to do =/

JillianLL

Eeeeek this can be a tricky situation. Maybe your best bet is to not invite any coworkers, so no one feels left out. Its strictly a budget thing and nothing personal. They should understand. Sorry you have to deal with this! I am so torn on coworkers too. I wish I didnt have to invite any and I hate that people at work ask me about the wedding planning!

courtneybrooke921

This is tough. IMHO - if you have already verbally invited them, it's a bit rude to take it back. If not, then by all means - cut that list down! (I wish I could do this) - I wouldn't contact anyone unless they specifically say something - then you can email/call/write anyone that you think may be concerned and explain your situation. (Dear So & So, Thank you so much for the excitement during this exciting time in my life! We have decided to have a small wedding affair but I appreciate all your love and support)HTH!

avee10

The whole co-worker thing is tricky.  I am also on a budget and FI had to really be careful with our guest count because we are already being thrifty in all the other areas.I dont know how close you are to your coworkers.  I work in a big company but our "group" is only 7 people.  However I cant invite them all because that is really 14 extra guests since they are all married.I am only inviting 2 of them.  One because we were friends before even working together, and the other one because her and I have become close and actually hung out outside of the work environment.As for the others, I didnt flat out tell them they werent invited, but I have mentioned how expense weddings are and how difficult it is knowing that I cant possibly invite everyone I want becuase I have such a huge family and they make up most of my guest count.  They have pretty much figured out that they wont be invited, and I know they understand.

avmn10

I don't have much advice, but I wanted to let you know you're not alone!  This is definitely a tricky subject for me as well.  Did you already invite them to the wedding? If so, it's hard to disinvite them, or invite some and not others.  Is there anything you've included in your budget that you could do without? Say, instead of having linens, use that money towards the extra couple of guests you want to invite.  Or maybe just beer and wine and not a full bar?  Good luck...watching this thread to see what others have to say...

jennej24

I too will watch this thread. I think if you just had the kisses sitting on your desk it isn't like you invited anyone. I am not inviting coworkers and I cringe when they ask me the wedding date. It seems so rude to say, I am getting married on 4/10, but you aren't invited. Hopefully they will understand but yea we are having 50 guests and if we invited my coworkers, his coworkers and their significant others that would be at least 30 more people, and I would still probably have people at work wonder why they didn't get invited, because it is hard to know where to draw the line.

rrive008

If you haven't directly invited them, then I wouldn't mention the wedding. Coworkers ask me all the time but I always just say.."it's going fine", then i switch the convo. the only co-workers we're inviting are FI's, but thats only because he works at a firm and inviting the partners is sort of like a must for him.and if you are actual friends with a coworker and they are going, then tell them not to mention the wedding at work, so that you aren't put in a compromising position.

goldie3474

well a hershey kiss isnt a formal invite unless you said save the date and then gave it to them. I would see if you can pair down anywhere else before hurting feelings though

[Deleted User]

Thanks SOO much girls, you guys brought up some good pointers. I'm going to get tougether with FI tonight and see if we can cut down on any other area before dealing w/ the whole co-worker situation. I would really hate to hurt anyones feelings especially since everyones always asking how the planning is going

nickey0202

I was having this same problem! The whole co-worker thing can be tricky, because you actually see them everyday, more than you see distant family members, but family is much hard to boot of the list than co workers. I agree with some of the earlier posts, if they haven't said anything to you, then don't feel like you need to come out and say it. It's not like you're un-inviting them, but now your plans are clearer and you've concluded that you can't invite them. But if they do bring it up, just let them know that you are planning a small affair for family and close friends only...or something like that. They should understand that, especially if they have a spouse and that will definitely increase your numbers. For me, I just try not to bring it up with my co workers. Sometimes they'll ask  "so how's the wedding planning coming along?"....I don't go into details, because truthfully I know I'm not even considering inviting some of them. lol.  It can be awkward...especially when ppl kinda invite themselves by letting you know that they're waiting on their invite. lol Idk what to do, but I know I can't afford to invite them, oh well! lol. :-)

citytoshore09

agree with alissa - candy does not make a save the date!:)a few people didn't come because we didn't give them +1s. they weren't dating anyone seriously and we weren't going to pay for friends. our co-workers knew we couldn't afford to invite everyone, if someone asks just say it's a small family affair or something like that.if that doesn't work, you can try cutting your floral or linen budgets perhaps?