Which honeymoon registry?

trishabkirk

Hi Everyone! 

My fiance and I will have a honeymoon registry instead of a gift registry - we are looking for recommendations. We have only heard of honeyfund.com but have no idea if that's a good one or how they work.

Any tips?

Thanks!

AdeleDazeem

Read this thread: http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_thinking-of-honeymoon-registry-2

Be wary of honeymoon registries.  They take a cut of the money your guests give you, they write you a check after your wedding for everything you receive (so you aren't getting "experiences" even though your guests think that is what they are paying for) and many people feel they are the same asking for cash, which is terribly rude.

If you want cash for a honeymoon, make a small, traditional registry (maybe ten things?) and spread by word of mouth that you are saving for a honeymoon.  No tacky honeymoon/money registry.  No transaction fees.  No offending your guests.  Win/win/win.

HobokensFury

Ditto Joy. HM registeries are deceptive and in bad form.

JoanE2012

Another vote to skip the HM registry!

trishabkirk

Aw, really? I disagree. I'd much rather give a couple who has everything already because they own a home together some cash to get to their dream destination instead of household crap they don't want - and can't get rid of later. I also think mailing or handing someone a check at their wedding is far tackier than contributing to an online fund for something they REALLY want, but to each his own! I totally understand how some people feel about honeymoon registries.

Thank you all for your help!  

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_which-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:fd2a0494-8854-4e5c-92ab-f9c031a196d9Post:53afe653-50a8-433a-a417-b0ee0d1db454">Re: Which honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]Aw, really? I disagree. I'd much rather give a couple who has everything already because they own a home together some cash to get to their dream destination instead of household crap they don't want - and can't get rid of later. I also think mailing or handing someone a check at their wedding is far tackier than contributing to an online fund for something they REALLY want, but to each his own! I totally understand how some people feel about honeymoon registries. Thank you all for your help!  
Posted by trishabkirk[/QUOTE]

I feel that you missed the reasoning behind my post.  A honeymoon registry does not provide the couple with an "experience."  It provides them with a check that is 10% less of the money the guests paid in.  THAT is tacky on the bride and groom's part.

I'm not against the idea of providing a couple with things to do on their honeymoon.  I think that's very kind.  However, as a guest, I'd write them a check and say in the card what I'd like it to be used for or the idea I had in mind.  At least this way, the couple is getting the FULL amount.

There absolutely nothing tacky about placing a check in a card.  There is a tremendous amount tacky (from an etiquette stand point) of registering for cash.

Best of luck.

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_which-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:fd2a0494-8854-4e5c-92ab-f9c031a196d9Post:53afe653-50a8-433a-a417-b0ee0d1db454">Re: Which honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]Aw, really? I disagree. I'd much rather give a couple who has everything already because they own a home together some cash to get to their dream destination instead of household crap they don't want - and can't get rid of later. I also think mailing or handing someone a check at their wedding is far tackier than contributing to an online fund for something they REALLY want, but to each his own! I totally understand how some people feel about honeymoon registries. Thank you all for your help!  
Posted by trishabkirk[/QUOTE]

How in earth is mailing someone a check tacky? So do you scoff every time you get birthday or Christmas or graduation money in the mail or handed to you at a party? If you're that offended by it, I'm assuming you refuse to take and use their money then, right?

If you want to give someone cash to put toward a HM, do as Joy suggested and write them a check with a note in the card of how you'd like them to use it (they can of course decide to use it differently, but that is the same situation with HM registries too). If you want them to get $100 to put toward dinner, wouldn't you want them getting $100 instead of $93 because the HM registry took a cut?

Plus going back to your tacky statement, they will STILL be getting a check in the mail; this time it's just worth less and from the HM registry instead of you. So you still aren't avoiding your "tacky" check in the mail.

freebread03

I fail to see how mailing someone a check for their wedding present is at all tacky.  Guess that OP would consider me a tacky gift giver!

Peledreamsofrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_which-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:fd2a0494-8854-4e5c-92ab-f9c031a196d9Post:6e9081e7-aecd-4c78-93c7-5b60f985ae7a">Re: Which honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]If I ever receive an invitation with a honeymoon registry, I'm going to go out and buy the biggest ceramic chicken I can find and give it to the couple as their wedding gift.  I think honeymoon registries are horrible and rude. 
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

<div>Hahaaha, that's awesome.  I'm probably the only person in the world who would love a ceramic chicken.</div><div>
</div><div>Oh, also, ditto to what the others said.  Honeymoon registries are a runaround designed to milk you and your loved ones for money.  There's other ways to do it.</div>

dazyabbey

I know most people on here do not like honeymoon registries but I disagree. As long as you do it tactfully and know your audience then you should be fine. Honeyfund is one of the few that does not charge a fee unless you go through paypal.

misshart00

In Response to Re:Which honeymoon registry?:[QUOTE]I know most people on here do not like honeymoon registries but I disagree. As long as you do it tactfully and know your audience then you should be fine. Honeyfund is one of the few that does not charge a fee unless you go through paypal. Posted by dazyabbey[/QUOTE]

It doesn't charge a fee because as soon as you "buy" something, it tells the gift giver to write you a check. Why not cut out the middle man?

hoffse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_which-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:fd2a0494-8854-4e5c-92ab-f9c031a196d9Post:2e862807-3eb7-435e-b8fc-30ca5c6cb077">Re:Which honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Which honeymoon registry?: It doesn't charge a fee because as soon as you "buy" something, it tells the gift giver to write you a check. Why not cut out the middle man?
Posted by misshart00[/QUOTE]

<div>This.  I recently attended a wedding where the couple set it up like this.  I am usually adamently opposed to giving cash (I don't like them to know what I spent), but I knew for a fact that the couple was basically selling off most of their stuff to move to a teeny tiny apartment.  Ok, fine.  I decided to break my own rule - she's a close friend, whatever.  They did the honeyfund thing that prompts you to write a check and mail it.  Frankly it was sort of a PITA, and they still haven't cashed the check which is even more of a PITA.  Needless to say I won't be breaking my own rule again.  I don't think giving cash is tacky, it's just not my preference.</div>

Allison1690

My family actually suggested a honeymoon registry when my fiance and I expressed our desire to go to the Caribbean for our honeymoon because we have not scuba dived there yet. We travel frequently and it is something we truly enjoy doing together. That said, I agree that coming out and asking for money is rude. We registered with my travel agent and only included close family in the know about it, and the travel agency gift cards (liberty travel) have been very easy to redeem in an account with them. Some word of mouth has led to birthday and Christmas gifts from the travel agency in the last few months, but we are not doing a wide spread honeymoon registry to all of our guests so that people who do not know our love of travel will not feel like we are asking for money. 

sally87

A lot of you seem to be very against honeymoon registries, but I'll play the devil's advocate here and say that if you want to do a honeymoon registry then do it!  Honeyfund doesn't charge.  Yes, the guests pay online for a portion of your honeymoon and you're sent the money in a paypal account.  They will select items like breakfast in bed, airport transfers, and accomodations, but really the money goes to you to do with as you will.  Everyone keeps jumping to the worst conclusions here, but if you truly intend to use this money to amp up or even entirely pay for your honeymoon, then what's the problem?  Chill out ceramic chicken girl(CMGr) because now you're the one being completely rude.  You don't have to get the couple a gift. It's not required, so do as you wish without being a jerk.   

trishabkirk

I love all that various opinions and input! I have heard that Honeyfund does not charge a fee and that's it's less "tacky" than other registries ... at least that was one opinion I received from a bride who used it ... and I would not try to pass it off as actually paying for a massage or dinner, or etc. We would be upfront with our guests about trying to pay ourselves back a little, in a fun, slightly creative way for a $4,000 trip we've already paid for on a credit card. 

A small real registry is a good idea. Who doesn't want new sheets haha - so I will take that advice. 

Thank you all!

Dreamergirl8812

How is verbally spreading the word that you want cash less tacky than a HM registry? Because you call it "discreet?"

And if your guests are stupid, then you probably should explain to them that the check they are writing you is, in fact, a check that they are writing you. Also, if you have a history of being dishonest, then you may need to reassure the people in this world who love you the most that you will be using the money as you said you would. So honeymoon registries are a terrible idea for lying brides with stupid guests.

LizM61409

I've had a couple friends recently who had honeymoon registries and I think it's a great idea. I think what we'll do is have BOTH a honeymoon registry and registries at 1 or 2 traditional places so it gives guests the option. I bet most of our friends our age will go for the honeymoon one though.

PDXShari83

I don't see how they are offensive, but I'm pretty laid back. What I do consider offensive are "money dances" at receptions. That's essentially guilting people into giving you cash on top of the gift they've already brought. And really, what's the difference between asking friends/family for help paying for a HM activity vs. asking them to buy you a Kitchenaid standing mixer? Any registry is just a list of items a couple actually wants or needs -- no matter how you slice the pizza