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Mom and Bridal Shower Fiasco

Sooo, sticky question, my mom (oh boy) decided that she would throw me a bridal shower. Ok, fine whatever, I wasn't too keen on it, but she seemed excited and it got her off my back about being more involved in the wedding. Now, after she has spent a bit more than she intended (par for the course with her) she wants my bridesmaids to chip in something. Bridesmaids who are all either in grad school or just finished and not yet employed... aka, little to no $$ to spare. I want them to be able to use that money towards their other wedding expenses, such as hair, make-up, shoes, hotel room, etc. I don't want to ask them, because I don't want them to feel guilty like they need to contribute. They didn't help plan the shower, they are not acting as hosts, I think that means they shouldn't have to 'chip in' anything. Period. What is a nice way to tell my mom to get her head out of her a$$ and stop acting like the world revolves around her? My girls don't have extra cash to spare, and they're all super sweet and will feel like they have to put something in if I ask them. A couple offered to come early to help prep stuff and set up, which is so awesome of them, and I don't want them or my mom to think that means they need to put money towards anything for the shower. They did not help in planning anything, and my mom (according to the shower invites) is the host, not them. Help!

Re: Mom and Bridal Shower Fiasco

  • You should tell your mom exactly what you told us! Good luck!

    My bridesmaids are all either in grad school or just finished and not yet employed... aka, little to no $$ to spare. I want them to be able to use that money towards their other wedding expenses, such as hair, make-up, shoes, hotel room, etc. I don't want to ask them, because I don't want them to feel guilty like they need to contribute. They didn't help plan the shower, they are not acting as hosts, I think that means they shouldn't have to 'chip in' anything. 

     My girls don't have extra cash to spare, and they're all super sweet and will feel like they have to put something in if I ask them. A couple offered to come early to help prep stuff and set up, which is so awesome of them, and I don't want them to think that means they need to put money towards anything for the shower.
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  • Your mom wanted to throw it for you, she is responsible for the expences. Same as any other party someone might throw.



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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-south-florida_mom-and-bridal-shower-fiasco?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:67Discussion:4b7a1065-c3cc-4c6d-9d56-eecc72fa79daPost:7bcdfe0b-cba2-445a-b66a-f5734e2ca2a0">Re: Mom and Bridal Shower Fiasco</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your mom wanted to throw it for you, she is responsible for the expences. Same as any other party someone might throw.
    Posted by LoisLane007[/QUOTE]
    Yeah, I told her that. She got pissy and snippy about it. Said something about how they'll absorb all the cost like always... sigh. Yes she and my dad are paying for the venue, food and dj, but FI, his mom and I have purchased a ton of other things for the wedding. She's just ticked because she is used to me not standing up to her and she expects to do things her way and not get called out for being wrong. Oh well, as long as she doesn't go behind my back to ask my girls for money I just don't care if she's mad.
  • Aw man! I feel for ya!



    September 2013 Moms Siggy Challenge: The Thing I Miss Most Since Being Pregnant
    Replacing the water cooler! And other heavy lifting
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Batman was supposed to be a symbol of hope and bring justice. Not spark violence.
  • That situation really stinks :-(
    But if she is hosting and throwing the party, then she should never have expected anyone to chip in.
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  • Sticky situation indeed! I agree with what the other ladies have said and I hope your mom gets over it and does not go behind your back to ask your BMs to chip in. That would be so uncool.
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