HUGE guest list

fishinflagirl

Let me start by saying hi to my fellow SOFLO brides! I just signed up recently and am excited to get to know some of you and sharing ideas.

My guest list is going to be huge and im a Bride of a Budget and can not afford to have over 200 guests. Just my family is just under 80 people, and adding his in would make it a little over 100. I would say at least 70 people of my family will show as they all basically live around here in FLA, his maybe 5 will show. The issue now with my family is that about 10 of them have gf/bfs and will most likely too by the time we get married. So, that just adds a few more to the list. Then friend wise I have my parents friends I grew up with, my friends, work friends, then I have my parents friends where I grew up with their kids bc my parents hung out with their parents, im not close to them at all, but I went to all of their weddings. So, that will be a total of another 120 friends.

Now, I know my FI and I arent getting married until 2012...and friends come and go...but really by that time I will have the same amount as friends as some go they will be replaced with others.

So, what do I do. Friends are very important to me. If I nix those that I really dont want there, it will only be brought down to 80 friends. Still near 200.

I really want like 100-120 at the most...but with my family I wouldnt be able to have my friends there. And my family is very important and a must to be at my wedding.

What would you do??

Thanks girls! Cant wait to starting sharing ideas....

CandisH

Welcome!! Keep in mind that traditionally only 75-80% of people will say "yes" in the RSVP.   I'm having the exact same issue.  Our original list was over 300.  I want about 110.  Honestly I'd be happy with 90.  I'm entertaining the idea of doing an adult only reception, that way I dont' have to worry abotu feeding kids, and some people may say no in the RSVP if they cannot bring their kids. 

Keep in mind that this day is ALL about you and your FI and that people who aren't invited WILL understand... if they don't, they will when they get married.  

It's definitely a difficult thing to cut down a list and decide who to chop and who to leave.  My FI and I are still struggling with this.  I'm sure other ladies can be of more help than me, but I HTH!  The good part is, you have time!

waterroxy17

I agree with Candish - it is about you and you FI and ONLY you two... You can't make everyone happy and you will make yourself go crazy just thinking about a guest list. The way i think of it is...have they been there for you and your FI. I was thinking of having 150 and now I am at 110, people will or should understand weddings are not cheap and it's not a free dinner. We cut alot down by just having our friends and not + 1 for a date of the week. Only serious relationship or married are +1 and lwe left kids out who are not in our immediate family.

Moonstar713

I think this is an issue for everybody. But don't invite people because you feel obligated or because they invited you. This isn't a time to be generous and mindful, not with the expenses you will encounter. The way I see it, the day of my wedding I want to be able to turn every which way and be surrounded by people who have truely meant something to me and my relationship, people that have supported us through and through. Will some people be mad, OF COURSE, no one is ever really satisfied, but they'll get over it and realize that weddings are expensive. The good thing is you have time to see what's what. In the mean time start planning having in mind its going to be around 200 people so that you can start looking at venues and what not. Closer to the date you have to start narowing it down. Think about it like this too, with a HUGE list, how will you ever spend time with each guest, its impossible. And don't worry about being "polite," you have to keep reminding yourself that this amount is all your capable of paying for and that's it. Don't stretch yourself too thin, it's not worth it, but most importantly enjoy your day to the fullest.

gatorgirl512

I think it's dangerous to expect a certain amount of people that you invite to RSVP "No". I did that and now it looks like we are upwards of a 90% acceptance rate for our wedding and it's a Destination wedding!

I'm a budget bride too, but you can make that many people work if you really want. Some options include:
-finding a place that will allow you to bring your own vendors in
-holding an early afternoon ceremony and providing snacky items, like an afternoon tea
-holding a late night event and just offering some hors d'ouevers

Honestly, I feel it's very contradictory of people to say "I want a small wedding but I want all my friends there and all my family there because I love them all." I think that's their way of caving in to the idea that it's silly to want a huge wedding and that having a huge wedding is going to be expensive. If you really want all those people at your wedding, you'll find a way to make it work.

fishinflagirl

Wow, you all had some really great advice. Now I will have to go back through the list and see who HAS supported us and who HAS been there for us, not necessarily friends we just go out to have fun with or those who just invited me to their wedding and I really dont see or talk to.
Gatorgirl - You have some great ideas. I am thinking of doing the reception at a civic center so that I can buy my own alcohol and my mom knows two girls who would bartend for me and im planning on doing bbq as the dinner.

Thank you sooo much for the advice girls...happy planning...and good luck on your big days!