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Not sure how to announce it *A little long*

Hi my name is judy. I have been part of the Knot for a little while but never have really use the board. I read some of the postings and saw how close you girls are and figured maybe you girls can give me some good advice.

My FI and I have planned a wedding for next year on  11/12/2010. Recently my Family and Fi had a major disagreement... its important for me to have my family support . So my FI and I have decided to postpone the wedding another year so we are getting married on 10/07/2012 (which hurts a little because i had already a set date)

My Fi and i Thought this decision was best so I can finish my BA and he can finish his Military thing.  We hope that in time my family will come to there senses and be able to get over their differences if they see the hard effort we are putting forth to do everything that is important to be Financially Stable,

The Problem is this I just don't know how to tell ppl sorry you are just going to have to wait another year. Since this is not the first time I postpone the wedding. I am a little embarrassed and have no clue what to do help??? 

Thx

Re: Not sure how to announce it *A little long*

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    edited December 2011
    I understand that it's important for you that your family and FI get along, it is for me as well, but when I had some family drama in the past the girls always told me, "this wedding is about you and your FI"  the ones that aren't supportive now will be.  I mean November next year is STILL a year away... If you're embarassed, keep it for 2011, your family and FI have a year to patch up their disagreement and everything will be fine in the end! 
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with PP ... next year is a long way away still .. so wait a little bit more and see if things patch up before changing it... maybe move it to January or Feb of 2012 and say you liked the month better (no one has to know the real reason unless you want to share)... GL!
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    twinkle82576twinkle82576 member
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    edited December 2011
    I agree, I don't think a disagreement b/w your FI and your family is worth moving the date. There will always be disagreements, and in the end, none of it matters. What's most important is that you marry your FI and that it's a day all about the two of you & nobody else.
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with the girls
    Everyone was against me getting married so early and all the blah blah that comes with a wedding, my parents weren't entirely into it, and my whole family thought I was too young, but this wedding is about you and him, and this is your day to plan and enjoy with him, it's the day that you officially decide to be together for ever, don't let your family get in the way of that because later on it opens the door for them to do it on other issues with him and you.
    Enjoy this moment of being engaged and planning your wedding, and like PP said, if you want to move the date just make up an excuse, you liked the month or you liked the weather or even the time change :p
    nobody has to know :)
    Hope it all works out
    BabyFetus Ticker Bravado Bras at Nurtured Family
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    PattyJosePattyJose member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree. At the end of the day the wedding is not about them, its about you two. And if they love you guys (as individuals) it shouldnt matter. As much as I know and understand how important it is for them to get along, that should not be the issue. Now, if you both think that it is the best decision because you want to finish your degree first and him his Military, then that is a good reason, but dont ever change something between you two because of others.

    With that said, I am walking a wedding this upcoming January for my friend who  litary changed her wedding date every year for the past 3 years. (I kid you not). It was never a big deal to anyone but her. So if you are stressed about changing the date again because what others will think.....DONT BE. The people who will be part of your wedding do not care about the date, they care about you, so dont stress it! ;)
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    anaroo87anaroo87 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It is hard when you love both your family and your FI and yet they disagree so you feel stuck in the middle. Like everyone has said, a year is a while away, I'm sure they will patch things up by then (and if they don't, I doubt another year would make a difference anyways.) When FI and I first got engaged.. my mom didn't even want to talk about it. She loves FI but thinks we are too young to commit to forever and fears we will end up in divorce. She even waited about a month before she actually told my grandparents and when she saw me with wedding magazines would smirk and say "why do you have those?." Our engagement will have been 2 and a half years by the time we get married because, partially we weren't ready financially, and partially because I was upset about going forward with it since my mom seemed so against it. 
    Honestly, after a year, FI and I decided we needed to start planning this and just started making decisions and announcing dates, ideas, etc. Once my mom said, "how about you just skip the wedding and go on a nice long vacation together" at which point I replied, "well, I think I'm going to go with having the wedding, although by no means will I force you to come since you seem like you really don't want to."
    I think that finally got my point across and she eventually got more and more comfortable and now is even excited about helping plan.
    Point being, if YOU want your wedding to take place next year... just keep doin what your doin. Your family loves you and eventually will hopefully put aside their differences and be happy for you. On the other hand, if you do want to move the date forward, who cares what other people think. If it makes you more comfortable, make up an excuse - say you want to wait until your finished with school because every time you try doing wedding stuff you get very stressed out with so much to do, therefore, you decided it would be better to wait until school is done so you can focus on planning and having a beautiful wedding!
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with the girls. But if you do change the date the best thing to tell people is that you need more planning time due to your busy schedule or that your first choice of date was taken by another bride and this was always your second option.

    GL
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    edited December 2011
    Dear Girls,

    I really appreciate all the advice. This weekend i saw a little bit of a change with my mom towards my FI. I think you are all right if I wait it out a little bit before taking drastic measures I might get the result I want.

    Thank you all once again!!!!!
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