No more miss nice bride......

adrielegorburu

Ok so I'm at my ropes end with family drama and wedding bull caca!!! I chose my three closest girls as BM's over one year ago.  I have had all BM gifts personalized with their names and initials.... Now one of them is telling me her BF says she cant be a bridesmaid....WTF!  Without going into her life story - he isnt a very nice person and is only doing this to hurt her I think.  There is no reason she cant be a BM - I'm paying for her dress and there isnt anything else I'm asking them to buy. 

So since she tells me this last week she hasnt answered a single one of my calls.  Do i replace her and get new personalized gifts for the new BM and stop stressing or do I get involved between her and her BF?  I'm furious that she would let him do this less than two months before my wedding!!  BTW this is my closest friend..... and I WANT her in my wedding.....  tia for your advice my knottie friends!

babytec

WOW Adrie! that sucks...I am so sorry you're going through this.  What I don't understand is why she's not returning your calls. She must not want to be a part of it. At this point in the game, i wouldn't worry about replacing her; i'd just go with the flow. Hopefully she comes around soon. GL babe!

Lacey36

Sorry to hear about that! I agree with Jess its to late to replace her, maybe she will come around. I dont know your relationship with her but if you want maybe talk to her if she calls you back or whatever and see what she says otherwise I wouldnt worry about it, I know its hard. GL.

zobo410

I say let her know how this is hurting you. Maybe write her a heartfelt email. Saying how you wanted her to be there to stand up for you and FI. I'm sure this is killing you inside. Personally, I wouldn't be able to just let it go. I would be fighting for my friend. It's so unfortunate that her b/f is doing this to you two.

avee10

wow, that sucks, and especially so close to your wedding.  It sounds like she has way bigger problems though if she is letting her bf tell her what to do, and she is willing to hurt you just because of him.

I would try to talk to her in person about why she feels she cant be in your wedding, let her know how much it would mean to you to have her there.  if she still says no, I guess you have no choice but to find someone else.

I;m sorry you are going through this.  good luck

[Deleted User]

That's awful girly, I'm so sorry you have to go thru this =(

I agree with PP and I say try talking to her about it. Maybe by email just in case shes avoiding a confrontation.

Her b/f is a nutso! Why would he not want her to walk the wedding, especially being such good friends! I say talk to her and express what you feel. GL hun!

twinkle82576

Personally, I would wait it out and see if she comes around. If not, don't try to replace her. It'll be addedd stress on you replacing her and getting all those personalized goodies for a new BM. GL.

adrielegorburu

Thank you guys for all your advice.... I know that i just have to replace her but it's hard so close to the wedding.  I think I'm more upset that my friend lets herself get hurt like this and sticks around to see how much worse it can get!!! but it's her life not mine and I just have to move on.  I'm writing her a long email explaining how I feel.  and I already ordered a new tote and gifts for another BM~ I'm now just worried that they wont come to the wedding at all.  I hate her BF!!!

TheJennius

Okay, first of all, I love you for using the word "caca". I LOL'ed at that one.

On to the drama, it is unfair to you, because their relationship drama is leaking into your wedding. That being said, having bridesmaids is not about numbers. If you have 2, have 2. If you have 20, have 20. It's about your closest friends. Don't replace her because she'll probably feel replaceable and that's the last thing she needs to feel while dealing with boyfriend drama.

Don't step right between them because instead of leaking drama, it will be exploding drama, all over you and your wedding. Just, you know, pray for her so she realizes what this guy is doing to her ("You can't be a BM, garrr" - seriously?) and she can fix things.

I wish you luck, Adri! Just go with the flow, how Jess said

adrielegorburu

exploding drama all over me and my wedding.....  lol~  Jen you are the best.  Instead of crying I'm laughing at that..... I have this picture of me in my wedding dress covered in caca.....

TheJennius

I can't with the caca, Adri, I'm holding back so much laughter lol

bears4life

Hahaha I love that you said Caca too!

and I'm really sorry she's putting you through this. It's so wrong of her BF. I agree with pp's and I'm glad you wrote her an email. He has no right to tell her she can't be a BM.

GL hun!