Am I a terrible bride?

apere054

So invitations went out last week and already my FI and I have received about 10 or so phone calls asking if people could bring dates. One of my FI's cousins simply erased the number in the second blank in the  ____ out of __1___ part and wrote ___2___ out of ___2___. Am I being a terrible for not inviting people to bring dates even though they're not in relationships?(Although his cousin is in a relationship, I didn't know about it because she is not close to FI and I...seeing as I have only seen her once in the four years we've been dating. She could have at least called and cleared things up instead of just writing over my number.) 

I wish I could let everyone bring a date, but we're on a really tight budget. We're lucky we're even able to have a wedding at all, but now I'm just starting to feel like everyone is upset because they want to bring a random date to our wedding that doesn't even know us.

Ugh...maybe it's all just pre-wedding stress and I just need to get over it, but I just wish people realized how much time and effort has gone into this. 

EvelynandManny

I am totally having the same problem...atleast ppl have called and not just changed it but I feel bad saying no when they call..so basically we are stuff with some random "dates"

RU3234

We did the same thing. Some people complained and some people didnt. Your never going to please anyone. People dont realize how expensive it is. We only invited people with guests if they were engaged or married.

Krysta6

I would just say no. I was a bridesmaid in my cousins wedding and she did not allow me to bring a date. My FI and I at the time had been dating for a year and I was kinda pissed, but I love my cousin and went and enjoyed the wedding. I got over it and they will too!

waterroxy17

When i am sending out invites, i really hope this doesn't happen to me. Sorry you are going through this!! I'm sure this is one of the hardest parts in Planning.
I have already told FI and he made his friends aware they couldn't bring the "date of the night". I can't afford X amount of money on a person they won't talk to tomorrow.

dewreb

It sounds like you're really concerned, which means that, no, you are not a terrible bride!

Etiquette rules say that you are okay, and that you don't have to allow extra guests.

I have had too many traumatizing experiences of being invited to weddings without a date where I didn't know anyone else, so I sympathize with your guests as well. It is REALLY hard to go to a wedding all by yourself. I'm a very outgoing person, and I still think it's hard. So, I guess, just understand as well as you can where they are coming from, and make a decision with you fiance about what to do. I don't envy making that decision though! (We're allowing all our guests dates due to aforementioned traumatizing experiences). Good luck!

rachelea

I just had this conversation with my mom. I told her how we were planning on only inviting serious "plus ones", not just allowing all our single people to invite others. She procedes to say that these single people may get mad and not want to come at all if they can't bring someone. I proceded to take out the guest list, count how many single people were on the list, remind her that she and my dad are paying the bill and that if we're looking at a $65/person catering cost, it adds up to over a thousand extra dollars. I told her if THEY don't have a problem paying that then by all means, dates galor. She started to see my point at that. I plan on wording our response cards to say "_____ seats have been reserved in your honor" and then giving the space for attending and regrets. I thought it was really a classy way to word it...we'll see how it goes.

apere054

Thanks for responding, at least I'm not the only one going through this or has concerns about this.

dewreb: I totally get your point about feeling awkward at a wedding when you barely know anyone, but everyone that is calling are people who are going to have tons of family or have good friends at the party, that's why I'm a bit confused as to why they need to bring a date. I know people don't like to be alone at weddings even if they're there with friends and family, but at the same time I wouldn't be doing this if it weren't absolutely necessary. I've even told people that if enough people say no I will call them and let them bring an extra person. 

Thanks for letting me vent girls, I guess I just really needed to get that off my chest. 

WeAreGs

Definitely not a terrible bride! I will be writing in the numbers myself, and if someone scratches that off... I will re-write the numbers in and send it again lol

I do understand that guests who don't have a date do not know anyone and may feel uncomfortable at the wedding so for those I MIGHT add a plus one (haven't decided yet). Although in all honesty, I don't have money to be dishing out for people I don't know, it'll have to be a per circumstance decision.

I will be making a singles table I think... as per the request of my single friends who already know there are no plus ones for randoms lol

lyndopo

Luckily I only had 1 person ask this. If you CAN'T afford it, tell them NO! If they have such a big problem with it, then they can stay home.

rxjen

<strong>In</strong> Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-south-florida_am-terrible-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:67Discussion:bc8bb852-d250-43fb-a605-549ff37c4e3dPost:6ecdd811-0479-4e25-a3e4-dc08316a1f55">Re: Am I a terrible bride?</a>:
[QUOTE]When i am sending out invites, i really hope this doesn't happen to me. Sorry you are going through this!! I'm sure this is one of the hardest parts in Planning.<strong> I have already told FI and he made his friends aware they couldn't bring the "date of the night". I can't afford X amount of money on a person they won't talk to tomorrow</strong>.
Posted by waterroxy17[/QUOTE]

THIS EXACTLY!!!!

mfields83

UGH i don't even want to THINK About this   probably the worst part!!  i'm so sorry to hear you have to go through that... and for us it will be on a person by person basis... if they've been together for years then okay... a couple weeks, not so much.  For the bridal party we only have a couple people that aren't either married or in serious relationship so for those few i don't mind if they bring a guest... but once we get into cousins & nephews & etc etc etc wanting dates, i'm gonna have to say NO... it's YOUR  & your FI's day - YOU get to decide who can come!!  and i totally agree w/ lynette - if they don't like it they can stay home!!!