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Gothic Weddings

minor freak out - long

This morning I woke up to realize we were quickly approaching our date, with "The Final Countdown" song stuck in my head. We've got a little over 2 mos to go. Invites went out early (last Thurs) and I have to hand out letters today to "friends" who got STDs. Quick story (in case you missed it here or on P&E): J has decided to live a sober life (24 days clean!) and doesn't want to be triggered at our reception. So he asked me to uninvite about 20 people from the bar who got STDs (mind you, I've been working/drinking at this bar for 9 years - but haven't spoken to any of them since J sobered up). It's going to be hard for me to do, and I feel bad, but at the same time, this is what J wants/needs and I totally support him and his requests. I don't have the barflies phone numbers. Yesterday at a family picnic my phone decided to act up and deleted everyone's phone numbers. Maybe it's a sign? I don't have their addresses and w/o phone numbers, I am left to write letters and leave them at the bar in hopes they fall into the right hands. Not only that, but 9 days ago his step-mom passed unexpectedly and he now is working on repairing his broken relationship with his father and his father's side of the family. So he wants to include those family members now, where as before he didn't care. So today will be hard, but I know in my heart it's the right thing to do. Sorry for the long post.

Re: minor freak out - long

  • Yikes.  I don't know what to say other than Good Luck!
  • That's terribly hard but it is a good decision for him to come to. It's not easy to decide you want to become clean and stick to it. It's also very sad to hear about his step mom. Hopefully everything will work out right in the end.
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  • Thanks guys! I am very proud of J's sobriety and his determination. And I know what we've decided is the right thing to do. I just feel bad hurting people.

  • My FI has been working on his sobriety also.  So I definitely understand where you come from.  It's no joke when they say you have to live for that one day, one hour, and one minute.  He's going through that.  And its so great that you support him.  Definitely it will make your bond stronger.  I'm sorry to hear about his step-mom also.  At least it may be a blessing in disguise since it may bring his family closer together. 
  • Thanks, cm! :) I wish the best for your FI, too. It IS hard.

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