Ladies, I'm having a moment. Sorry this is kinda long. I'll be ok, and hopefully this helps.I have no clue what dress I want. I'm returning the dress on layaway because it doesn't fit right and will cost a fortune to alter it. I also decided that I hate it. I can't even decide what color I want. White, ivory, white with black, white with red, my fiance likes all black and all red as well as the ones I mentioned. I don't want an all black or all red gown, although some of you have amazing dresses (especially that hot little red and black number!) I just don't think I would feel right. I know it has to be a ball gown, just because I really love the way they feel. I also LOVE vintage weddings so I would love to mix my love for gothic clothing and design with my love for all things vintage. I love hollywood glam, old world fashion, victorian fashion, I love lace and beading, and I am a girly girl. I tried on a satin ivory beaded strapless ball gown (I'll get pics the next time I go in) with an organza shawl and an ivory beaded veil that went with it and I felt like I was in another time that I had been in before. I LOVED it, but I still love the black, white, red, and purple theme that we were planning. I'm having an extremely hard time finding size 4 gowns that are lace up (because I don't have much up top) in all of the shops I've been to. Grrrr.I am becoming very uncertain about our venue. I'm not sure if it is what I really want, but it's free. I want to be able to dance and have (somewhat loud) music, but I need to meet with the property owners again to get details on music, alcohol consumption, etc. I just lost a groomsman to a very tragic and horrible death. I also lost his wife as a bridesmaid/bartender (who is my fiance's only cousin) because she just lost her husband, which is very sad. They were also the ones with a huge truck that were going to pick up our rentals (tables, chairs, china, etc.) over 2 hours away for us. I think I'm going to have to give up my black magic roses due to them being REALLY expensive. Although picking flowers for the centerpieces and bouquets for $5-$6 a bouquet at a local cutting garden is really sweet and an awesome personal touch to our wedding, and an affordable one. I still want my roses.I have about a $5000 budget for rentals, tuxedos, flowers, 3 plane tickets for family members, beer, wine, flower girl dress, cake, honeymoon, some ceremony and recpetion decorations, dj (or maybe just cds), hair and make-up for me and my bridesmaids, engraved groomsmen pocket watches, etc, etc. A lot a of the things we are buying ahead of time: my dress, veil, shoes, accessories, reception dress, vases, decorations, peacock feathers for bouquets, toasting flutes, guest book and pen, candles, candelabras, ring bearer pillow, rings, etc.I think I'm just freaking out because I don't have a dress. I want my dress to be the beginning of all of the theme. I know I really want my black candelabras and my roses. I might need to forget about the roses and it's really bummin' me out! I can try to save money for them and add flowers from the cutting garden to compliment them. We'll see. I still have until July of next year, but time just seems to be flying! Is this happening for you ladies as well???