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Gothic Weddings

I'm so freaked out right now that I don't even know a good title for this post....

Ladies, I'm having a moment. Sorry this is kinda long. I'll be ok, and hopefully this helps.I have no clue what dress I want. I'm returning the dress on layaway because it doesn't fit right and will cost a fortune to alter it. I also decided that I hate it. I can't even decide what color I want. White, ivory, white with black, white with red, my fiance likes all black and all red  as well as the ones I mentioned. I don't want an all black or all red gown, although some of you have amazing dresses (especially that hot little red and black number!) I just don't think I would feel right. I know it has to be a ball gown, just because I really love the way they feel. I also LOVE vintage weddings so I would love to mix my love for gothic clothing and design with my love for all things vintage. I love hollywood glam, old world fashion, victorian fashion, I love lace and beading, and I am a girly girl. I tried on a satin ivory beaded strapless ball gown (I'll get pics the next time I go in) with an organza shawl and an ivory beaded veil that went with it and I felt like I was in another time that I had been in before. I LOVED it, but I still love the black, white, red, and purple theme that we were planning. I'm having an extremely hard time finding size 4 gowns that are lace up (because I don't have much up top) in all of the shops I've been to. Grrrr.I am becoming very uncertain about our venue. I'm not sure if it is what I really want, but it's free. I want to be able to dance and have (somewhat loud) music, but I need to meet with the property owners again to get details on music, alcohol consumption, etc. I just lost a groomsman to a very tragic and horrible death. I also lost his wife as a bridesmaid/bartender (who is my fiance's only cousin) because she just lost her husband, which is very sad. They were also the ones with a huge truck that were going to pick up our rentals (tables, chairs, china, etc.) over 2 hours away for us. I think I'm going to have to give up my black magic roses due to them being REALLY expensive. Although picking flowers for the centerpieces and bouquets for $5-$6 a bouquet at a local cutting garden is really sweet and an awesome personal touch to our wedding, and an affordable one. I still want my roses.I have about a $5000 budget for rentals, tuxedos, flowers, 3 plane tickets for family members, beer, wine, flower girl dress, cake, honeymoon, some ceremony and recpetion decorations, dj (or maybe just cds), hair and make-up for me and my bridesmaids, engraved groomsmen pocket watches, etc, etc. A lot a of the things we are buying ahead of time: my dress, veil, shoes, accessories, reception dress, vases, decorations, peacock feathers for bouquets, toasting flutes, guest book and pen, candles, candelabras, ring bearer pillow, rings, etc.I think I'm just freaking out because I don't have a dress. I want my dress to be the beginning of all of the theme. I know I really want my black candelabras and my roses. I might need to forget about the roses and it's really bummin' me out! I can try to save money for them and add flowers from the cutting garden to compliment them. We'll see. I still have until July of next year, but time just seems to be flying! Is this happening for you ladies as well???
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Re: I'm so freaked out right now that I don't even know a good title for this post....

  • *hugs* above said it all but just remember you will find the perfect dress! I am having a hard time too... but just keep your chin up and keep up the search...I would agree with the checking vintage stores. I would also try those funky dress shops they might have something...prom stores...thrift stores...even try googling vintage gowns and see if anything pops up...remember you can always have a seamstress alter it for you. Most dresses can be turned into a lace up...as long as they have a back...or you could even fake it by just having it added over the zipper...... hope this help! and remember its your day...and it will be beautiful no matter what
  • *hugs*I am so sorry youre so stressed. You've been given some good advice, I just want to address the venue and dress issues.Our venue is not first choice, but like you, we chose it cause its free lolz. We're "making" it our first choice by thinking of good memories we have that revolve around the place. I work next door, so I know the people, and at closing they would often drop off extra food at my work. I'd bring it home for dinner, and so many of our first "dates" were watching netflix eating their leftovers hahaThey'll let us decorate however we want, so I have that to look forward to. I dont get to choose the music or the table layout, but what I CAN choose bet your sweet buscuit I'll be choosing! What about your venue can you do to make it "feel" like "This is OUR venue!!!"?The dress: Have you looked around on theknot at all to get ideas? instyle has a gallery, too. Even if you only have a few you like and all of them are VERY different from eachother? Find a local bridal shop and bring the photos in. (or heck post them here and well help you find simialr styles too!)They can research and find dresses you may like to try on-to give you an idea of fabric, shape, etc that you like. I didnt even go the bridal gown route, my gown is a bridesmaid dress haha. If you like ball gowns, try Nordies, Macys and JCPenny too.Some might give me flack for this, but if you find something you like, but its not QUITE "the dress", have a seamstress or Chinese shop (yes there are some reputable ones out there, offbeatbride.com boats of Kaersen.com) to maek the dress of your dreams for you. There are no limits when it comes to your gown!For me personally, we cut a lot of things out that we didn't feel was "necessary". No guestbook, no garter, no veil, we didnt have a bridal party so no flower girl/ring bearer stuff...all that money easily went into other areas  such as food and decorations. If you want to cut something "traditional" from the ceremony, but fear the repercusions of DF or family, do it-you wouldn't be posting here on the gothic board if you wanted a totally traditional wedding anyways, right? XDOh, another idea, cause I think I read something about makeup? If you have a MAC counter, ask them about doing your makeup. Our counter here does it for free as long as you buy something. I can always use another shadow, so for under $20 I'll get my make up done woot! My bff is having all her bridesmaids (for her wedding) get their make up done there as well, and as her BM gifts, letting them each pick a few things. Kill two birds with one stone!
  • Thank you everyone! You ladies have great advice .I am trying to just remain in tune to what is really important. I probably will have a very traditonal wedding, but not religious, only because that has always been my dream (plus, it will be my first time seeing my dad in a tux!). I am very much in love with the victorian way of life also so I want to blend my love for gothic and victorian design. Our families are very easy going so it should work out pretty good. I have been looking at dresses online again and I have found some that I really love. I'll post them on my bio soon. I know they'll probably be very frilly compared to the ones you have picked out, (by the way you guys have great taste! man-o-man!) but I guess we all live out out fantasy in a different way! :) I have figured out what I really want to have in a wedding gown by writing down exactly what I have always dreamt of. I know this is kinda cheesey, but my local dress shop is the one from the Twilight books/movie and I found out they have an awesome layaway plan! I have until my wedding to pay off a gown. Although I'm sure we'll pay it off before then. I am also going shopping this coming week for our FIRST wedding items! I'll probably pick up atleast one candelabra, some vases, and maybe some of the peacock feathers so I can practice doing centerpieces. My fiance' wants to make the guestbook because that's what he used to do in college, but I'm afraid he doesn't really have time to do it. I'll let him know that it would really sweet but we both know he has so much on his plate! I'll probably pick one up that's plain and embellish it with scrapbook supplies. We both want to get a pen and holder and put peacock feathers on it instead of having a white or ivory feather. I think I just love feathers. I'm probably going to make the ring-bearer pillow since most of them are white or really outrageously priced. Things are slowly coming together. Next year in May and June will be hard making sure we have enough for the rentals and a way to pick them up! I am really going to try to keep some money in the budget for my roses. I just think they are so beautiful. Time will only tell what will happen. In the meantime I need to find another groomsman and bridesmaid and try to keep my sanity! Thanks for listening to my rambling!
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