I'm Stuck! Kinda Long

Rphilli2

My fiance and I were going over our guestlist last night and the question of having kids at our wedding or not came up. He realllly wants to have an adult only reception, which was fine for me as well, but when looking over the guestlist it became more of an issue. I have a couple relatives where they have kids ranging in different ages. For ex. my uncle has a daughter who is 17, but the rest of his kids are around 8-10. How do you invite the seventeen year old, but not the others? Also, he has many relatives who are out of town and will prob. not come if it is an adult only reception because they do no want to leave their kids. And I dont want to risk not having the people we care about due to this issue. Also, another thing... my nephew who is 5 will be the ring bearer. And I do not want people to be offended. Any suggestions?

jaylii9

So, we wanted to no kids at our wedding, but realized that this was not going to be realistic for our families so we will have children 12 and up at the wedding.My only piece of advice is to make a decision and be consistent with it. So decide no kids, kids 12 and up, kids at the wedding and you will provide a babysitter (I'm not a fan of this idea, but it's up to you), all kids welcome etc... I think if the only children at the wedding were from the bridal party everyone would think that was fine. I would not however start picking certain children who can attend, because that will make people mad.

KT82

I go back and forth on this issue all the time. It can be a touchy subject for some people, and I'm the kind of person who is always afraid of hurting other people's feelings! I do agree with the pp though, either set a specific age minimum or just no kids at all. My dad actually suggested hiring a babysitter(s) to come to his house (he's near the church and reception), and people can can drop their kids off there. Not sure if something like this would work for you or not but thought I wanted to throw it out there!

cwheels82

We are only inviting kids that are related to us.  I have friends with kids, but that was too much.  Our family is mostly out of town though so we really wanted to include their kids as well.  (Not to mention the fact that I was a kid when most of my cousins got married and they invited me!   As for babysitting, our reception is at a hotel so I'm getting a hospitality suite for the kids to go up to if they get tired/bored.  I'm staffing it with a couple of local high school students I know.  That way people don't have to use it, but if parents want to come down and party later, they can. 

flirtatiousgrk

i just got an invittion that said *Please no children under 12 years* i personally dont really want a bunch of kids everywhere my my mom told me we cant do that bc when i was young ppl included me in the invite so we cant do that to them..... but my fiances mom has a lot of deal with cause she knows a couple families with like 6-7 kids so in our invitations we are writing down how many seats are reserved in their name so we might adjust the age limit that way by writing down only 4 seats reserved when it should be like 8... eekk!

Rphilli2

Thank you everyone for your suggestions! I didnt even think of having a sitter! I do like the idea of 12 or older though. Our coordinator has given us some suggestions but says ultimately it is up to us, I just needed to get some other bride's opinions! It is amazing what all you have to think about when planning a wedding!

dcunningham2

We did family only. There were a couple under 4 but one was the ringbearer (my nephew) and the other was the son of BP members (my other nephew) And they all behaved beautifully! But again, since they were all family, had they not behaved I'm sure a family member would have handled it. HTH!

Bright121

Much like one of the pp, we are also doing only kids we are related too. Though we would prefer to have no kids except the ringbearers/flower girl. My fiance had a family wedding recently w/ no kids invited and it caused a bit of an outrage. We are also having our events at a hotel and getting a room  for the kids to go to when they are tired or if the parents want a break. Im hiring a girl from the daycare I work at to watch the kids. We also have a 2yr old son so it made the decision to have a sitter a lot easier, we don't want to have to stick him w/ one of our parents all night and have them not be able to enjoy themselves.

snj2009

We're doing immediate (brothers & sisters) family & OOT guests only for the children rule!  FI family is all local so there's no reason why they can't find a sitter for the day and feel comfortable being no more than 20 minutes away from their children, but I have some family traveling from NY.  I think it's kind of rude to ask people OOT to come to the wedding, and have the additional expense of traveling, hotel, and wedding gift, then have a sitter to pay for for the weekend on top of it.  My OOT guests are just a handful or so anyway and are mainly just a few family members, so I think it will work out fine.  If guests inquire, I'll simply tell them - They are my family that traveled from NY.  I have 2 assistants that will be with me all weekend to help me with my 3 children  - they are under strict orders to not become babysitters for someone elses children.  I hated the idea of having a sitter, as guests and thier children don't know this person at all.  That's a pretty awkward scenario. If someone can't understand why you have a ring bearer at your reception they have no business commenting on it!  I've never been to a reception where a full bridal party includung children involved were not in attendance.  Good luck to you - stick to YOUR & FI plan, and it will all be fine!