Vent...

okami.mami

dear world of wedding guests,

please don't bring uninvited guests. and please don't ask me 4 times if you can bring your boyfriend after i already kindly responded with a stern "no". additionally, please don't ask everyone else in my immediate family, again, if you can bring said boyfriend. yes, the same boyfriend who i, nor anybody else in the entire family, has never met. have a nice day.

end vent...

TysWife2Be

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this and so soon at that...

Keep your NO and if they dont understand TOO DAMN BAD!!!

chinchilla2284

so sorry. I can't believe they tried to go over your call and go to your family. That is soooo not cool. Hope they understand NO means NO!
Hope everything else goes A-OKAY!

jagore08

Amen!

Lnc0185

OMG how rude!  I'm just waiting for someone to pull that one on me!!!!

[Deleted User]

I simply assumed that every single friend would bring a date.  Some did, some didn't.  Some I am still waiting for a response.

Ettiquette wise, they should have respected your wishes.  The only caveat I suggest with regards to guests that are single:  keep an open and respectful mind to guests who want to bring a person that they have been dating for longer than you have been together with your FI, if it applies.

My FI, when he was best man never was sat next to me at both weddings for the same guy.  Be careful when you are celebrating your love that you do not snub the significant others of those closest to you.

My FI who was appointed best man twice in a row by the same person with different brides, had to tell his groom point blank: "look, I don't care how many times you get married.  She and I have been together longer than your last wife and your current flavor of the month have been together combined.  If she can't come, I'm not going."

While cost is an issue, respect is priceless.  Those people who are in serious relationships should be allowed to bring a significant other.  On a day that you are celebrating love, that you do not allow other people who love each other to be together is rather hypocritical.  I also speak my personal opinion with regards to children.  In an age where parents are too squeamish to talk of parenting, too squeamish to talk of proper contexts of sexuality and to talk of proper relationships.  I find it highly hypocritical not to allow children at a wedding.  The sacrament of holy marriage is one of the milestones that children should see adults do--it gives them examples of proper conduct and things to look forward to doing.  I remember my first wedding when I was 8 years old.  My parents told me point blank if I strayed from the table I was dead.  I never did.  I was happy to dance with my brother and I still remember the chicken was dry and the potatoes were cold--It was at the Castaway( I'm pretty sure the reason the food was horrible was because the brides parents were  super cheap--I remember the invitation vividly: it included a full print out of their wedding registry--OMG can you say tacky??!!!).

You need to consider your guests needs on a case by case basis--yeah, respect your bottom line.  But still remember that you will never know when someone in your circle of friends will do you a favor that has no pricetag.  My mom had a friend in her nursing school that helped her land her current job.  That job has been a godsend to our family.  Sometimes it is better to eat the cost of entertaining friends rather than to put them off.

That said, all those guests that  had a worthy significant other to bring should have contacted you immediately upon receiving your invitation AND not hassled you in the last week.

You as the bride, have the veto power to tell people "look you are a grown up--I spoon fed you your response card and you waited until the very last  minute right after my guest count was due to make this request of me.  How fair  is that? "

While I suggest this I am thinking "Seriously!  How F-ing hard is it to mail an envelope already addressed and posted for you???!!!" I was rather surprized to find out which guests were slackers and which were just plain disorganized.

It was an eye opener.  My own boss proved to be a slacker.

xxquemirasxx

That sucks! I'm so sorry they are doing this...hopefully they get the point NO is NO.

That is really terrible. GRRRR!

Vans18

So sorry this is happening, I totally understand you because that happened to me.  After I said NO many times, they still showed up with uninvited guests...I was so disappointed that they did not respect the fact that is not their wedding and still did what they pleased. If they still do show up, try not to get upset...have fun and take care of that later. GL!

amberlynned

OMG Vans18!!! It is one thing to be disrespectful and ask numerous times, but to show up with them AFTER you had already said no? WOW! You are a much stronger woman than I. I would have asked security to escort them out! LOL

garavito_16

I'm sorry your going through this. Some people just don't get it. They should respect your wishes.  @Vans...I can't believe that happened to you! I'm hoping this doesn't happen to me.

xxquemirasxx

I hope that doesn't happen to anyone...man where in the hell do we come up with the $ when the coordinator comes up with the bill! YIKES!

I

okami.mami

thanks, ladies. a shot of rum fixed that meltdown last night in a jiffy

outdoors710

Im sorry about that, yea I agree with the other brides, NO means no and if that person keeps bothering you about the boyfriend coming, then you have every right to take them off the guest list.