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BM Shoes

Another question about shoes...When I first went to find a dress I took my FSIL with me so she could try on dresses. I found shoes that I liked and she also tried them on and liked them. Is it too much to ask the BM's to get the same shoes??
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Re: BM Shoes

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    TBHCJSTBHCJS member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's all personal preference. I wouldn't say that it's "too much to ask" just because most bridal parties have matching shoes. However, there are plenty of brides that don't care either way and let their BMs choose shoes. Mine all the wore the same, but the shoes and dresses were all reasonably priced. I like the matching look, and they did too, so it worked out fine.
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    alithebull1alithebull1 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don’t think it is too much to ask and 99% of the time a person isn’t going to have a shoe that matches and will have to buy something anyway.  Personally, I think it is hideous when they don’t all have the same shoe and I do take notice at weddings and in pictures so mine all matched.
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    edited December 2011
    I don't think it's too much to ask- as long as you don't pick out a pair that is super expensive.  While I wouldn't call it hideous like pp, I think that if the dresses are all matching it looks best with matching shoes.  My bm's all wore different dresses so they all wore different shoes too.  Honestly, I think there is like 1 or 2 pictures out of the hundreds taken that day where I can see their shoes, so ultimately it's not really a big deal. 
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    lpalladlpallad member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Def not too much to ask! Part of it too is if your girls are wearing long vs short dresses - I think Im going to go with the BMs wearing long dressesv (black) and the matching shoes wont be as big of an issue - my FSIL is getting married next weekend and all she asked was that we all wear black peeptoe heels - so no one will really be able to see real differences! :) HTH
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    KT82KT82 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I probably won't have my girls wear matching shoes, just similar style (i.e. open toed black shoes) BUT I think its fine if you want yours to wear matchign shoes. I think that's what most people expect when they are asked to be in a wedding...matching dress and matching shoes. I would just suggest being price conscious, make sure you pick something that all of your girls can afford.
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    edited December 2011
    I don't think it is too much to ask, however, it depends on your bridal party.  My MOH was 9 months pregnant at the time, and my youngest sister isn't very comfortable in high heels, so I didn't want to force everyone to get the same shoe.  They all wore gold shoes, which you could hardly see with their floor length dresses.  As long as they were they same color, I didn't mind.  And it sure didn't look hideous. 
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    alithebull1alithebull1 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Touchy, touchy, lol.  It is hideous in my opinion….didn’t say anyone else had that opinion or that others notice it at a wedding like I do. 
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    art4mbgart4mbg member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it is too much to ask if the shoes are reasonably priced. All my girls wore the same shoes but they also had tea length dresses so everyone saw their shoes. I've been in weddings where we all wore the same shoes and otherrs where we just had to ahve the same color. It's all up to the bride! HTH.
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    edited December 2011
    My BMs wore tea length dresses and each picked out their own pair of shoes.  Two were from out of state, and one had a badly broken foot 3 years ago that makes finding any pair of shoes nearly impossible for her.  To me, it really didn't matter.  I have maybe one picture that shoes all of their shoes, and to me it doesn't matter.  Plus, once they were down the aisle, I think most of the focus was on DH and me, not the BM's shoes :)
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    dcunningham2dcunningham2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you require them to wear the same shoes keep the following in mind:   1. Price – I would be upset to purchase anything over $40-50 personally, especially since most BM dresses are $100+                                                                       2.  Feet problems – I had a BM that has had multiple foot surgeries, so I knew not every shoe would work for her 3. Personal style – do your BMs have similar fashion tastes? That would mean they’d be more likely to wear the shoe again. 4. Location of bridal party – if they’re scattered across different states (I had 5 of 8 BMs OOS) it may be more difficult to find a shoe/store that everyone can access   If you don’t require them to wear the same shoes, just give them guidelines: 1. Color 2. Minimum heel height 3. Style (peep toe, closed toe, etc.)   I agree with PP, it matters more with tea length dresses than floor length, so that may affect your decision. Ultimately do what you like, as long as it is reasonable budget-wise for your BMs.   HTH!
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    imkaleigh63imkaleigh63 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    One of my friends is a 6 wide, so I'm not going w/matching.  To me, it's more important that my friends are comfortable, as far as style AND the cost.  My girls are wearing black shoes to go with the black and white dresses, so it makes it pretty easy for everyone to find something to works for them.  But if all of your BMs can agree and are happy with your selection, then it's OK to ask them to match.
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    mocklerjamocklerja member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I decided even though my BMs will be wearing tea length dresses, I am not going to have them wear the same shoes.  I don't really care, as long as they are comforable and people should not be looking at their shoes...they should be looking at me! LOL! :) 
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    edited December 2011
    Short dresses are a different story but I always think its funny that a bridesmaid is asked to buy specific shoes when they are wearing a long dress and no one will see the shoes. Price is also a big deal too. Especially after buying dresses, alterations, hair, nails, make up and multiple gifts.
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    edited December 2011
    My BM are all wearing the same shoes but they all have different knee length dresses from Jcrew. The shoes they go were from target (online they have A LOT more options) and where only $24. I think if you have long dresses, it's not important. Short dresses, it depends.
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    edited December 2011
    I think this is a hard subject, I think if your havng them wear short dresses.... i would say they would need to match (unless they have to wear black shoes, i think they should be able to wear their own just let them know open toe or closed) but long dresses no one really sees their shoes anyhow! im in a tough spot cause my girls dress color is a light gold so i gotta figure out what kind of shoe to have them wear... i found a perfect one of ninashoes.com but i dont expect them to pay like $100 for one time shoes.

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    edited December 2011
    I seriously got lucky and found the shoes I wanted for them at Shoe Carnival for $12! I ended up just paying for them as part of their gift. This doesn't make me feel as bad since they didn't have to pay for them.
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    lpolly12lpolly12 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with people above. I think there are two different scenarios here: short dresses and long dresses. I think if you have short dresses, you can ask the girls to get matching or similiar shoes. It makes them look put together. Also, short dresses in most cases are a little less expensive than the longer dresses, so asking them to get shoes in not outrageous. As for long dresses, you aren't going to see their shoes so if they are all the same it doesn't matter either way. My girls have long dresses and I said just wear a gold colored shoe. HTH :)
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    jlukcojlukco member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it is only too much to ask if your dresses are long......if your having long dresses then asking them to all wear the same color is just fine. I have matching shoes but mine girls are wearing knee length and they are detailed colorful shoes. I was just at a wedding where the girls wore the same dresses my girls are and they all wore black shoes....not the same black shoes just black...and it looked fine hth
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    jchapman330jchapman330 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just in MY opinion, if you have people looking at your BM's shoes and critiquing them on your stinking wedding day, that’s their problem and it’s pretty silly :) I would do what suits you and your BM's budgets!
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    star85babestar85babe member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I based it on.. Are you going to see the shoes. My bridesmaids have long dresses. and my MOH has a short dress. So i let my bm pick out what they wantted. And me and my moh will wear the same shoes.
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    edited December 2011
    Mine had 3 different shoes (for 4 BMs). I required a certain color from DB's and then I found cheaper ones from DSW and got them for the other 2 girls.We had tea length dresses and it looks completely fine in pictures.
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