mean knotties

folshibaby

i went over to the wedding woes board to vent and end up getting a backlash of mean replies. i just needed advice but they didnt like me or what i had to say. maybe i should not post anymore if i cant get any help or understanding just attacking me. smh, i understand if im wrong and making it clear to me but i think there a certain way to speak to people maybe thats just me?

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_seriously-worst-moh-ever

jhulme

yea some ppl were out of line for sure...i posted something about having my shower and bachlorette party in the summer time (jan wedding) and people went NUTS!!! its like there is no wedding bible and im having my bachlorette party in the summer cuz were going to vegas and i want my shower that same week bc 3 out of 4 of my bms are out of towners (WAY out of town) i just commented back like you did and then blocked the person who made the rude comments good luck with ur bms it can be tough but do whats best my friend kicked out one of hers 3 weeks before the wedding bc she was causing too much drama and trust me we were ALL happy about that decision haha

jagore08

I've seen much worse.  This is a public forum and people tend to be more outspoken on the internet.  My honest advice (really not trying to sound harsh but to give you solid advice), don't take things personally.  The way some things were put might not have been sensitive but she was right on what she said.

Your BM should be picked for what they can do for you.  They should be your nearest and dearest.

A wedding shouldn't need "support" from friends, that's what you have a FI for.  You guys should be planning this together.  Yes, I know men aren't always the best at helping with stuff, especially wedding stuff, but you should be able to tell him you'll need help assembling the invitations.  

If your BM offer to help you that's a different story.  I know your MOH mentioned her mom's job but if she didn't ask you for specifics, it sounds like she was just bragging to brag.  Is she normally like this (all talk and no follow through)?

If you really don't want to be friends with her over this (and I think this would 1. make for an awkward working situation and 2. be a little silly to end a friendship over this) then you have to just step up and tell her that you don't want to be friends with her and no longer want her in the wedding.  She'll probably ask you why and I hope there's more to this situation for you to end your friendship.

Good luck with everything.  

folshibaby

Seriously its not that serious. I thought that would be the appropriate forum to discuss wedding related things that was getting to us, somewhere to vent you know? Yeah I just cleared that message and blocked most of the people in that post. Its like they get off on attacking new people. They wonder why so many kids are dieing because of people like them. Its basically bullying for no reason. Btw I think its fine if you want your bacholorette party and shower in the summer who cares? Every wedding and every bride isn't the same. you can have way more fun in the summer than in jan anyways plus ur bm are out of towners it makes completely sense. Believe me I don't think my other bridesmaids are to fond of this new girl anyway. They just put up with her because of me.

jagore08

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_california-los-angeles_mean-knotties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:68Discussion:e5e0e0df-7679-4314-bfcf-5f32d8356bf0Post:f467212c-ad52-47d1-8800-1968a15988ea">mean knotties</a>:
[QUOTE]i went over to the wedding woes board to vent and end up getting a backlash of mean replies. i just needed advice but they didnt like me or what i had to say. maybe i should not post anymore if i cant get any help or understanding just attacking me. smh, i understand if im wrong and making it clear to me but i think there a certain way to speak to people maybe thats just me? <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_seriously-worst-moh-ever" rel="nofollow">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_seriously-worst-moh-ever</a>
Posted by folshibaby[/QUOTE]

<div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">Oh and please don't delete your posts.  It could help other brides who come on with the same questions.<div>
</div><div>Also, once you've been quoted your words are up there for good.</div></div></div>

folshibaby

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_california-los-angeles_mean-knotties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:68Discussion:e5e0e0df-7679-4314-bfcf-5f32d8356bf0Post:88a34ef1-00fb-4f9b-ad03-30b056a4b6cc">Re: mean knotties</a>:
[QUOTE]I've seen much worse.  This is a public forum and people tend to be more outspoken on the internet.  My honest advice (really not trying to sound harsh but to give you solid advice), don't take things personally.  The way some things were put might not have been sensitive but she was right on what she said. Your BM should be picked for what they can do for you.  They should be your nearest and dearest. A wedding shouldn't need "support" from friends, that's what you have a FI for.  You guys should be planning this together.  Yes, I know men aren't always the best at helping with stuff, especially wedding stuff, but you should be able to tell him you'll need help assembling the invitations.   If your BM offer to help you that's a different story.  I know your MOH mentioned her mom's job but if she didn't ask you for specifics, it sounds like she was just bragging to brag.  Is she normally like this (all talk and no follow through)? If you really don't want to be friends with her over this (and I think this would 1. make for an awkward working situation and 2. be a little silly to end a friendship over this) then you have to just step up and tell her that you don't want to be friends with her and no longer want her in the wedding.  She'll probably ask you why and I hope there's more to this situation for you to end your friendship. Good luck with everything.  
Posted by jagore08[/QUOTE]

Thank you. I understand what they were saying but it just seems like they were pushing me. I guess I'm not used to such blunt answers. She seemed sincere at first but I told her once already that I couldn't believe anything she said because I barely even knew her and I'd rather just do everything myself than rely on her. My fiance is always supportive he even offers help with certain things even though they are girly. Maybe I have a different view on bridesmaids then most. I've never had to be one. I'm not one to hold grudges so I can let this go but I'm just tired of going back and forth with her. Sorry about deleting the other post I didn't think about that. I know they are smart over there in WW so they quoted to continue the convo even when I'm done. Whatever ill get over it, I don't know these people IRL anyway.

gmjpeach

Wow, this is super mean. Stay here with us nice guys in LA!

Jagore is right, people really let lose online because of the anonimity (spelled that so wrong). Just ignore it. Its happened to me on other messege boards, but don't worry! Do what you are most comfortable with, and remember that no one can make everyone happy, so choose yourself first.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I do wonder if you have ever read the wedding woes board before? There's a definite culture on several of the national boards and if you didn't know what kind of personalities they had which you were encountering, perhaps you should have read some of their other threads? Wedding Woes is a very tight knit group of snarky women who can be hilarious, but are known for a more biting sense of humor,

folshibaby

Unfortunately, no I did not. I don't lurk much but I've definitely learned my lesson as a newbie. Ill be staying in our LA Boards from now on.

fancieface

ya, there are a lot of high strung opinions out there. Try not to let it bother you and keep on asking for advice. Don't let anyone rain on your parade!

ellone400

wow thats just mean and horrible!

annagtz82

I got the same response on the Wedding Woes board. I don't know why they are so mean there. I also went to vent and get some advice and I got a bunch of rude responses. I won't be posting there again.