re-thinking things. : /

aaruiz84

ok so i want to know if anyone else is or has gone throught this.

My FI and I just threw what was supposed to be a "real fun" engagement party for ourselves. We invited all of our frineds and family. we really put lots of effort into the party, making a photo booth, chocolate fondue set, champaign theme party.... so we were really looking forward to it. BUT THEN

people showed up late despite the fact that we said slide show would start at 8 sharp, 2 groomsmen arent speaking to eachother, my bff almost broke up with her BF and the list goes on.

towards the end of the night i felt physically and emotionally tired : / making me question if i want the big wedding, with a reception and beautiful floweres, i mwan for what??? for other guests to enjoy and I jsut end up tired as heck???


anyone??? or am I being to emotional over this whole thing??

fam6

I definitely have days like that!  I am having a small intimate wedding with just 40 guests so that it is just the people most important in our lives.  But, I do want to plan a beautiful meaningful day....regardless of what others do....this feeling will pass!!!

Boricua Gipsy

Weddings are to be shared with loved ones, but even thought etiquette says you have to withstand those pesky, dysfunctional relatives, I believe that ultimately it is the bride and groom's day and they should enjoy it however they want. If you know that there are certain people that will DEFINITELY mess up your party, DON'T INVITE THEM. If you are stuck with them (they're blood related in a worst case scenario), simply take them aside, and AS GENTLY AND SUBTLY AS YOU CAN, tell them that you would like this day to be beautiful and STRESS FREE. (Emphasize the word STRESS when you're talking to them). I know you're engagement party may have dissapointed you a bit but the feeling will pass, and if you freak out about every little detail you won't enjoy your wedding day. Remember, weddings are ultimately meant to celebrate the union of two people who love and cherish each other. The party is merely an accoutrement. I'm sure everything will be alright!

Karla1811

Something similar happened to me... We threw an awesome party at the beach, printed invites, rented tables/umbrellas/tent..ha a dj.. volleyball, alcohol...Everyone got there late, at least 20 ppl did not show, and we were so tierd with the whole set up. Plus almost no one actually said congratulations.. it was more of a big get together for them.
Aftterwards, my F and I talked about the turn out and played with the idea of just eloping and taking a 2 month vacation/honeymoon rather than blowing all that money on a big wedding.... which we probably wont even get good gifts at. BUT then we came to the conclusion that for better or worse, these are the families we have, and we want them to celebrate with us because it is fun! I will definitely keep track of who is/isnt coming and everything else should come together. and if they do not bring good gifts, oh well. We are throwing the party to celebrate the two of us and have a good time with our friends/family not for the gifts.

I say have a party and do not expect everything to be perfect. You cant control it and it would be akward if everyone was following instructions on how to behave and werent being themselves. If there is drama, let it be. Im sure if your BFF is having issues with her BF, she isnt going to pull you from your own wedding to comfort her. and if she does, tell her nicely to find someone else to nag. It'll turn out fine!