Latino Weddings

padrinos

Who is having "padrinos" and how did you ask?

I really do not want to ask, I do not want to ASK PPL TO PAY FOR MY WEDDING. But my family (most of my relatives) keep telling me to show them a "list" of stuff for my wedding so they can pay for it or buy it for us.

I've made it clear that WE are paying for everything ourselves, and IF THEY REALLY WANT to help, they can offer or give what they want.

what else to say? do?thoughts?

Re: padrinos

  • jenandcrisjenandcris member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My family was a little like that. Everyone wanted to chip in for SOMETHING. But ultimately, FI and I held ground and said we would pay for things ourselves. We are not having "padrinos" though.

    I say if you want help and the relative/guest personally offers, then I say go for it. If not, then just kindly say so.
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  • edited December 2011
    I don't think I want to have padrinos either.
  • edited December 2011

    I'm also not having padrinos. Some family  members asked about it but I decided I would rather not. FI and I are paying for everything with some help from our parents. When people asked, I just said politely "Thank you, but we are choosing not to have padrinos." Also, if you don't want to provide them with a huge list, you can just have padrinos the main things like venue, music and food.

  • edited December 2011
    We are having them.  Family has been asking what we need help with.  We told them that we only want them to help with what they can, that any help is appreciated.  We are having them pay for the less costly parts of the wedding and we are paying for most of it ourselves.
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  • latina40299latina40299 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Were not having padrinos either,were paying for the wedding ourselves,just ask them in person or have a small get together and ask who would be able to be a padrino/madrina.
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  • edited December 2011

    I've always felt it's weird to have padrinos for everything so we're only having them for arras, lazo & velacion during the religious ceremony.  My family knows how I feel and didn't insist, although some family members have gracious helped us with some expenses like the cake and music.  I'm sure my Mexican relative will wonder what's wrong with me.  Hahaha.

  • rosierealrosiereal member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ok im confused , we have padrinos my sister and his brother and they are not paying for anything, We are paying for everything but we are not asking for anything nor are we expecting them to pay for anything. Not that we are going to ask but is that what padrinos means that in other words you expecting them to pay for stuff? oh wow i hope thats not what they think cuz that was not our intentions.

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  • edited December 2011
    Rosie, as I understand it, it can mean either one.  "Padrinos" that stand up with you like honor attendants at a U.S.-style wedding aren't expected to pay for things, but it was traditionally common to have "padrinos" for different aspects of the wedding (i.e., someone who buys the cake, someone who pays for photography, etc) in lieu of giving a present. 

    FWIW, I am 99% certain that none of the padrinos that were in ceremonies of any of the half dozen weddings I went to in Mexico last year helped pay for the wedding.  At least one couple also had at least one set of padrinos that helped pay for something, but it wasn't advertised.  FI and I are having U.S.-style BMs and GMs but probably will also have padrinos for the lazo and arras; they will just be ceremonial and not expected to pay for anything.
  • nenita82nenita82 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am having some padrinos for the big things like cake and music and of course for the religious ceremony. I think if they are relatives and they really want to help then you should let them. Like you said, they can give the amount they want. That's what I told my family, so they gave me the money to use it with whatever expenses I wanted. Some of my friends insisted on helping out so I accepted their help as well. I didn't want to make them feel bad that I was too proud to accept help. And believe me any amount you can get it sure helps.... weddings cost a lot of money!
  • edited December 2011
    We are only having padrinos de velación, arras, biblia, and lazo.  Where our families are from in MEX the groom pays for everything to prove his "financial stability"...of course times have changed and it will be both of us are paying. 

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  • edited December 2011
    Growing up we had many family weddings and quinces where my mom was asked to be a madrina and it really put a financial burden on her. I think that if the family has offered to help then have them pay for the smaller things, but to ask them to pay puts them in a bad position. Very few people are going to say no even if they know they can't afford it. My mom was the madrina of my cousins dress for her quince (in addition to doing her hair and makeup) and the dress was almost $600! Every family is different in how they approach it, but be mindful that money is tight for a lot of people right now.
  • edited December 2011
    i have chosen not to have those kinds of padrinos. I dont want to have to ask for them to pitch in. We're paying for our wedding ourselves and we have a pair of padrinos de honor. I'm not having them pitch in for anything.
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  • edited December 2011

     I'm was born here and my FI is from Mex. I was was also reluctant to have padrinos, but everybody we know accepts it as a tradition( today for you, tomorrow for me). So we have padrinos for just about everything. Except for the dress and wedding rings. When we asked most wanted to know a set amount, but we just said what ever they can afford, or if they couldn't that was ok. Having Padrinos is great, but the down side is they can back out at the last moment. I've known several people who that has happened too. If you do decided too have them, just have some money put away for the just in case.

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