I find it so weird...

Mioh1

I noticed that people can get pretty fired up about small things like adding the "+1"  My cousin got married a few months back and her MIL would not invite anyone who said they could not attend the ceremony to the reception. Alot of the time people skip out on the ceremony and just show up to party. I've never done this but I'm already expecting it to happen in my wedding since I've seen it happen many times in mexican weddings. It doesn't bother me though. We're having about 190 who will attend the reception but only about 90 who will for sure be at the ceremony. It doesn't bother me. I was just wondering if I was the only that felt this way? I guess because we aren't necessarily paying per person? Idk

loop0406

I don't mind if guests only show up to the reception, mostly close friends and family care about the actual ceremony. Others want to eat and booze it up in my opinion. So I honestly don't care, long as my closest relatives are at ceremony, that's all I care about

heidi1068

I agree with you on the plus-one thing but I think that going to the reception but not the ceremony is extremely rude.  I also see it happen all the time at weddings in Mexico, but I have never seen it here.  That said, the main reason I was reluctant to get married in the Catholic Church is that I didn't want the three hour gap that I am pretty sure is going to result in a lot of the "American" guests skipping out on the ceremony.  Unfortunately, the other option--a 7:30 p.m. ceremony with the reception not starting until 9--was even less desirable.

I would not not invite someone because I thought (or even knew) that they did not plan on attending the ceremony.  But the ceremony is the important part, and the reason for the reception.  If people don't want to witness the marriage, I do not think that they should go to the party.

fam6

The point is the ceremony.  That is the most important part of the day for me.  We are only inviting those people that are important to us.  So, if they didn't think our wedding ceremony was important, why should we pay for their dinner to celebrate our wedding.  The point of the day is the wedding ceremony that begins a marriage...the party is just a perk.  It would piss me off!

gibribuz

I agree that it is very rude but I know there will be people that will not come to my ceremony and I am fine with that.  As long as my parents are at the ceremony, I will be happy. 

gutier65

You are so right! As long as those you love most are present for the ceremony part than that's all that matters. It will be beautiful with or without the others who can't make it. I expect to have 150 at my ceremony and 350 at the reception. We shall see...

Mioh1

exactly! it's a celebration not keeping a score count lol

BuildABride

For me, the people that I love most are exactly those who are invited. BUT OK full disclosure - my mom has invited 5 peeps whom I'm never met, but who am I to deny her. There's no other stragglers that I expect to randomly show up at the reception having skipped the ceremony. The reception is not a free-for-all, it's the celebration of the most important part of the day - the ceremony!

aclaro

This was one of my turn offs for having a church wedding because i know so many peopel dont go and i hate it like gutier65 im probably gonna have 150 cerremony but 350 total, but at the end i didnt think it mattered because as long as the most important people are at teh ceremony thats all i care about the reception lets just party..

also i think it might have somethign to do with not paying per person, because we aren't either and i just think that lifts alot of the stress from it