Just Engaged and Proposals

Is waiting over a year going to be torture??

I am newly engaged and just starting to try to navigate the planning process.  I am a teacher, so I was thinking the best time for a wedding would be early June. I would be out of school and could get situated/moved in, etc.  We have no breaks in the fall until Thanksgiving, so I couldn't go on a honeymoon then.  I really don't like cold weather, so I don't want to have the wedding in the winter.  I guess planning for June 2012 would be too soon to get everything together, also I don't want to rush it.  But if we wait until next year, that'll be over a year!  We are in our mid 30s and I'm just feeling like I don't want to wait a whole year!  We have been together for over 2yrs.  Maybe we could do a tropical destination wedding over the Christmas break?  Help!
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Re: Is waiting over a year going to be torture??

  • A year will fly by before you know it! My FI and I decided on a two year engagement due to me deciding to finish my degree, and its already flying by! In the scheme of things, one year is not long to wait. Do what is best for you both, if a desitination wedding is what you want, thats great, you just have to realize if you want guests, Christmas is a very expensive time and people may not be able to go. Good lukc with everything and congrats!
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  • I was in a similar situation.  I got engaged in January of last year and I'm a teacher. Due to similar reasons, we set the date for this June.  Honestly, I liked having a longer time; I have yet to feel stressed.  It was nice to take a few months break after booking the major things like venue, photographer, caterer, etc.  

    So far, it has been a very smart decision for us.  We weren't in a big rush to get married; we have the rest of our lives for that. Besides, we've already been together 7 years, so we wanted to take the time to do the way we wanted. 
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  • Thanks for your comments.  I guess I'd rather have things planned the way I wanted vs. feeling rushed to make decisions.  A year does go by pretty quickly, and it will give us time to do things without feeling too stressed.  I just get excited and want to get the ball rolling! haha
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  • A year is going to be so fast. Imagine waiting 3 and a half ;)
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  • Our engagement will be one day less of 16 months when we get married. At this point, it feels like we've been waiting forever and just want the wedding to be here already. 

    Every couple is different and you should set your date based on what is going on in your lives. 
  • Congratulations on being engaged! It'll fly by so fast. I have a 2+ year engagement, and so far, it's going my relatively quickly. As quickly as it can, I suppose. Ha. Take some time to enjoy being engaged. Be glad you have that much time to plan! It can get stressful!
  • Okay, well it makes me feel better to hear of other people that have long engagements, too!  This is my first wedding, and I'm amazed at how expensive things are.  I might need a whole year just to save money!
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  • i have a 3 year engagement ahead of me. just do what is best for you! relax take a breath and enjoy your time together. the hardest part is over, you have therest of your lives to be stressed and worry about things

  • When we get married, it will be 13 months to the day. It is awful! I would  have loved to have had a shorter engagement.
    You have to do what works for you and your budget.

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  • Naw. You should enjoy this stage for a while! If you want a "normal" wedding (meaning, big wedding in a typical venue with a meal and a great photographer, etc) then you'll want the time to budget and plan. I was with my FI for SIX years before we even got engaged and then had a 15 month engagement. I'm glad I did b/c it gave us the time we needed. I can see how a lot of women just want to get married already, but since we already live like we're married, I'm enjoying the time being engaged and having the wedding to look forward to is exciting!
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  • OH MY GOD...this is so funny because I'm a teacher too...and just posted.  We  just got engaged end of this past March and I want a summer wedding and had a chance to book August 31st but feel it's too rushed and then rushing back into school and STILL have a chance to marry on Sept 28 (which is more time to plan) but I don't think Sept. is a starfish beachy month??

    My fiancee and I are both just 40 years old 5 years together and don't know whether we should wait until June...OH I do have a venue picked and dress ordered but just HATE the time of year (end of Aug or end of Sept)

    UGH...when you decide let me know too.  XOXOXO


  • I guess it all depends on your age too girls...right?  Those that have waited 1 year or 16 months are probably late 20's early 30's...so difficult when you are almost 40!!!!
  • In Response to Is waiting over a year going to be torture??:
       I just got engaged last weekend - (4/21) but already know I am going to be waiting over a year.   I am looking at Sept / Octoer 2013 .  I figure that  I will have plenty of time to plan  and it won't be too hot or cold yet ..
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  • Our engagement will be about 20 months long. I wanted to finish school, we were planning to move shortly before the wedding so having more time made sense for us. Choose a date that makes sense for you and your FI.
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  • Long engagements aren't that bad. We got engaged on June 7th, 2011 and we will be getting married on May 19th, 2013.. an engagement of 23 months. I can't believe a year has almost gone by already... it honestly went by pretty quick. Our wedding will be here any day now!
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  • To the other teacher that posted:  I understand completely!  Fall is always a difficult time, getting back into the swing of things at work.  I think waiting until next summer is going to be the best option for us.  Especially since I just found out I will probably be footing most of the bill since my parents aren't going to be paying for much. :/  Takes a long time to save on a teacher's salary!  I think my FI assumed my parents would be paying for most stuff like bride's families traditionally do...so I now feel kind of responsible for paying for things. I don't need to have anything super lavish, but I would like for it to be nice! 
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  • <p>I think a year engagement is fine If you are 25 and under. However if your 25 and over, there is nothing wrong with getting married in a year or less. Me and my now wonderful husband were engaged for 4 months before we got married. We had an amazing wedding with 250 guest. It was a great deal of work but I could not imagine going through the wedding planning process a whole year.
    I too work in the school system and know first hand the only breaks we have are during the holiday and summer.You  have to think are you  two considering waiting a year to please others or yourselves? We were blessed that we were able to have an traditional church wedding with reception.

    However the main point about getting married is not the fairytale wedding but spending your life with your soulmate.</p><p>
    Please do what feels right for you and your fiance. I wish for you both the best.</p><p>

    Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_is-waiting-over-a-year-going-to-be-torture?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:053633bf-d769-4749-80b7-b79b7e172b21Post:fa4f4b73-d7db-491e-b623-dd4c3bf8d99e">Re: Is waiting over a year going to be torture??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for your comments.  I guess I'd rather have things planned the way I wanted vs. feeling rushed to make decisions.  A year does go by pretty quickly, and it will give us time to do things without feeling too stressed.  I just get excited and want to get the ball rolling! haha
    Posted by mtnbrooke7[/QUOTE]
  • Well, if my mom got her way, we'd be married in a month!  It will be best to wait so I can save some money to have things the way I want.  I am in my mid 30s so I guess I've learned to be patient.  ;)
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  • I say enjoy your long enggement. It's a blessing in disguise. More time to plan and save which means you will more than likely be able to get what you want and not have to compromise so much (ie, your ideal date, honeymoon time, etc). 

    I wish my 'engagement' was longer after seeing how much weddings cost and how more time could help us save more, but after 13 years together (and our wedding date being our 14 year anniversary), I think we've waited long enough LOL. This year was just perfect. And I started planning in like January.
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  • My FI is also a teacher.  We got engaged August 2010 we decided to wait 2 years.  We own a house and need the time to save the money.  We are getting married this July we will have been engaged for 23 months by the time we say I do.  So waiting a year really is not that bad.  The time is now flying by for me!!

    I would plan it for June enjoy this time being engaged.  You should start looking for venues and booking your vendors now. 
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  • edited May 2012
    Me and my FI got engaged earlier this year..we're not getting married until May 11, 2013..a year engagement will fly by. Its enough time to get the planning and little details of your wedding perfect, and it gives you guys time to enjoy being engaged.!
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  • Okay, so I think we have changed our minds and are now looking at Sept!!!!  lol  Four months, aaaaaiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!
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  • I'm wondering the same thing! We just got engaged last week but I'm planning an Aug 2013 wedding. Part of me would LOVE to do it this August but realistically, I know that waiting will be better :) good luck!!
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