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Help! Should I have an engagement party?

feminivyfeminivy
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in Just Engaged and Proposals
I always imagined that as soon as I got engaged, I'd call all my friends to come to a restaurant or bar for a joyous impromptu celebration.  (Our parents live very far away.) But I just learned that American tradition says anyone invited to the engagement party must be invited to the wedding.  We won't know how many guests we can afford for another month at least.  I don't want to offend anyone, if this is true, but do people really expect an invitation to a formal wedding if they were invited to an informal engagement celebration?  If so, I guess I'll just skip the engagement party. 
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Re: Help! Should I have an engagement party?

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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Yes, everyone invited to the engagement party must be invited to the wedding.  That's why you keep them small and hold off until you've got some planning under way.

    But, it's poor etiquette to throw your own engagement party anyway, so unless someone is offering to throw it, you don't have anything to worry about.

    If you want to go celebrate with your friends, do it.  You don't need an occasion or a party title.  
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    jennylove810jennylove810 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited April 2010
    I think... and I say this delicately... that there can be a difference between someone throwing an engagement party for you, in your honor, and inviting friends out for drinks to celebrate and 'SQUEEEE' immediately after your engagement happens.  It sounds like you just want the latter, so I think you're good and say go for it.  I can't imagine that you'd invite so many people that it would be a serious concern come guest-list time.
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    krmabojokrmabojo
    First Comment
    You and you friends can go out and get drinks to celebrate, sure.

    But do NOT throw an engagement party for yourself. That si considered rude. SOmeone (if they want to) will throw it for you.
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    ReichaFReichaF
    First Comment
    I was thinking about the entire engagement party concept.  I am unsure if we are having one.  My mother and my FMIL maybe in the process of planning a surprise party for us.  But, if we dont get one than I will not be upset.  We are having a DW and I think that 5 days of celebrating in another country is enough celebrating my wedding for my friends and family...

    I dont think they are necessary though...

    If you want to have an informal celebration with friends that by all means do so...

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