What is wrong with this site?

BlameCanada

I'm pretty new here.  I haven't posted too many times.  I just tried to jump in on the Etiquette board and they ripped me apart.  I thought this would be a nice place with happy brides.  Why is everyone so mean?

SarahSmile23

BC, tread lightly, this is a flame free board and we'd rather not have the etiquette board's drama hashed out over here.

If you're really engaged, welcome and tell us about your wedding!

BlameCanada

Will do, Miss SarahSmile.  If anyone attacks me here I'll make sure to bring it to another board.

I'm not really sure what there is to tell about the wedding.  We're going to run away to a tropical island to get married but that's about all I have planned out.

blackfire5th

The key is to lurk for a while before trying to post on the big boards.  I know they seem mean, but once you get deeper into the planning process, a lot of what they are saying makes a lot of sense.

I think the main problem is that pop culture gives us an illusion of what brides can do/act like for their wedding.  I'm not saying that you are going anywhere near bridezilla territory, but we are taught that it is "My day!"

This can get you in a lot of trouble.  I really wish that I had found the boards earlier in my planning process.  They would have kept me from committing some faux pas.  

Keep in mind that some things are more acceptable in some areas.  For example, I like it when I receive registry info in the invite.  That is a big no-no, but it is something done in my circle, I like getting them, so I included them.  Another one is cash bars.  In some areas anything less than an open bar isn't heard of and in some areas they are the norm.  My area is in the middle where it is common to provide beer and wine, and cash for the rest.  You really need to know your area, but for the most part the ladies on the big boards know what they are talking about.

As to whether your flaming was justified?  I can't say, I didn't read the post.  I link might be great!  

BlameCanada

Thanks for the support girls.  I actually lurked for a few months before I felt confident enough to post, and then this.  It's just so rude!

my2geldings

BecW2be

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_wrong-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:0d14d4b1-6041-4900-97dd-a75ce003ed97Post:f44600b4-836e-453d-97b3-6d7e497dcde8">Re: What is wrong with this site?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the support girls.  I actually lurked for a few months before I felt confident enough to post, and then this.  It's just so rude!
Posted by BlameCanada[/QUOTE]

Yeeeeah, because posting there about how mean everyone is, how much Canada sucks and then running over here to whine about it will help. Right. Good luck with that!

littlebearbride32106

I haven't seen the post you are talking about so I can't really speak to that but I will say that I have had some people (not on the etiquette board) be REALLY rude to me.  My advice is do NOT call anyone out when you think they're being mean or rude, they will just turn around and say you're being a cry baby or that you deserve it.  Two, you just have to take it with a grain of salt and ignore it.  As a future bride, this is the happiest time of my life and I can't believe how bitter some people are.  Engagement is supposed to be a happy time but clearly not everyone on here is like that.  Just remember this is an online board and people will post whatever they want, rude or not.  Sorry you have to deal with it but just be careful what you say and learn to ignore the people who make comments you don't agree with.  But again, I wouldn't make a habit of calling people names or saying bad things about Canada.  It's a good country, as my Canadian friend says "they have colored money there, what's cooler than that?"

brilibby4

I have no idea what was said on E but you obviously didn't lurk for "months before feeling confident enough to post" because it says you joined 2/28/2010 and you have 110 posts.  Hmm...

girl2bewed

Yes you have to be careful what you post. Lots of people giving straight opinions and lots of rude ones. Try posting on your local board or your wedding month board you'll likely find some nicer people there. Good luck!

janedoe1113a

Right...

Cherli

You call yourself BlameCanada and then whine about other people's posts to you? Give me a break! I don't even need to read any of your posts to figure out who the really rude person is here.

riverjib

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_wrong-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:0d14d4b1-6041-4900-97dd-a75ce003ed97Post:e45f2838-7c8c-439f-b172-265dd78385ab">Re: What is wrong with this site?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, I just came to the realization that a lot of people in etiquette boards and customs board are very rude.  And they can't take the stick out of their ass or the etiquette book out of their head for a second to understand that some situations call for different things... anyway, just saying I see what you're seeing blamecanada.  and it's not pretty...not sure i'll stick around here too long...
Posted by splashmadison[/QUOTE]

LOL! I love the irony that the etiquette board turns out to be the rudest one. The "Snarky" board is usually more polite. People are ridiculously judgmental and either so on edge about their "perfect weddings" that they spit venom on anyone who has contrary views, or maybe not as happy as they think about getting married, or with their lives.

It amazes me that people sum up answers to complicated questions with a simple, "No, you're wrong and totally screwed up." Pretty nasty, and unimaginative to boot :-)

Don't let them bother you. I like bouncing ideas off a large group to find out how the snarkiest of my guests may view my decisions, even if I disagree and choose to do whatever I'm thinking of doing anyway. It's good to have a variety of ideas and viewpoints before choosing to do something that might hurt someone's feelings or be construed as out of line. But I trust those closest to me to help me make those decisions in the long run.

My sister (a somewhat newlywed) and I get a kick out of comparing snarky remarks to our posts on the Knot and the Nest. You have to have a sense of humor, especially when dealing with people who are convinced that they are perfect :-)