Just Engaged and Proposals

mixed signals... HELP!!!

Ok so my bf and i have been together going on 3 years and he promised we would get married before i turn 25 so we have plenty of time for kids... next month is my 23rd birthday!

This week he even went so far as to set a date for our wedding... its going to be on my 25th birthday!!! and we have been starting to plan our wedding slowly this week. we have our groomsmen and 2 out of 4 brides maids. I've been doing nothing besides looking at bridal websites and getting ideas for my dress... We couldn't be more excited!

The only problem is.... HE STILL HASN'T PROPOSED!!!! He just keeps saying let him figure it out... but I'm scared he will wait to the last possible minute like he does with everything else!

What Do I Do Now!?! Please Help!?!

You have all been a very big help in killing my happiness. thank you so much.
~BSC

Re: mixed signals... HELP!!!

  • Um, I would say you really need to calm down on the planning. You just stated that he hasn't proposed yet you basically have your entire wedding planned out. The point of an engagement is to plan out your wedding and to figure out details then. Pre-planning sets you up for failure. What if your BF doesn't propose for another year? Then what?
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  • So your wedding is more than 2 years away.  He has lots of time to propose.  I would slow your roll and let him do this his way.  If you pressure him too much, it may create a lot of stress in your relationship, or ultimately leave you disappointed (and single).

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  • Well, I'd kind of say that since you've agreed to get married, he HAS proposed.  He has proposed the idea that you get married, right?  That's what a proposal is.
  • Be careful planning things too far ahead.  There are countless posters on different boards who pick their bridal party over 2 years out and end up wanting to kick someone out as it gets closer.

    Calm down and slow your roll.

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  • Stop.  Just stop.  This isn't a race and life doesn't come with expiration dates.  If I were you, I'd put everything wedding out of your mind until he actually proposes.  The end. 
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  • You my dear are what we all like to call, BSC. In personal experience pre planning before engagement almost left me single. Even though he said I was the love of his life yada yada. Stop planning. I think the only thing in truly doing as a pre plan for my own wedding is I hired a trainer and work out 3x a week. But that's not just for the wedding but for my life, so go join a gym or pottery class, do something that takes your mind off of this. And he gave you a date possibly to shut you up. Especially if he hasn't "proposed."
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  • Sounds like he may have stuck his foot in his mouth and wants to back track. Stop the planning, you would be two years out anyway. Let him backtrack and actually propose to you. What would be the point of him proposing if you already have all the elements done?? It would end up being more of an afterthought. Let him make the proposal special, dont steal the thunder may steamrolling right over it.....
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_mixed-signals-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:12091f38-4866-4acd-82c6-a5127a6011cePost:4f60c1ef-d64d-4fbb-b0c2-7db5a2807964">Re: mixed signals... HELP!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Be careful planning things too far ahead.  There are countless posters on different boards who pick their bridal party over 2 years out and end up wanting to kick someone out as it gets closer. Calm down and slow your roll.
    Posted by button6004[/QUOTE]

    YES this is what I was going to say. Even if he proposes tomorrow and you have a 2 year engagement.... there is absolutely no reason to pick a wedding party more than 6-9 months out. You can have an idea in your head but please don't ask anyone before then. There is NO point.
  • The PPs are right.  Also, sometimes looking at certain TV shows, bridal magazines or even websites like these are not the best thing to do when you're waiting for a proposal.  I was going out of my mind when I was waiting for my FI to propose.  I had to step back from anything that had to do with the wedding industry and let my FI (then bf) take the lead by trusting him.  Also, sometimes when you seem overeager it can be a little overwhelming to a bf so you gotta keep it cool so he doesn't feel smothered by it all.
  • Whoa Whoa slow down! Stop planning &  get off the wedding websites!!

    You have over 2 years until the wedding that may or may not be happening. You need to stop even thinking about a wedding. Wait until he purposes and then and only then should you start planning or thinking about a wedding...


    some girls are crazy when it comes to weddings.... this is a prime example....
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