Engagement Bracelet Rant

treblyk

Okay, so my now fiance and I were discussing what I would like for engagement rings, and I flat out told him that I hate rings, so being the amazing boy he is, he picked out the perfect bracelet for me. It is silver with twelve light blue topaz gemstones. I think it is gorgeous and thought that everyone would be as happy as I am, but holy crap!

"so let me see it!"
*shows bracelet*
"Oh...where's the ring?"
"...I didnt want one?"
"Why not?"
"Well...I hate them? And I hate diamonds?"
"Oh. Well. Thats okay I guess."

Everyone acts so shocked/appalled that I have a bracelet and not a traditional ring. I have to explain every freaking time that I aked for the bracelet, that I hate rings, and because April is my birthmonth, I am so sick of diamonds its ridiculous! Apparently I am a freak for not wanting the biggest, gaudiest, diamond ring ever. I am so sorry I didn't want my fiance to blow stupid amounts of money on something as silly as jewelry. (I don't even have my ears pierced, and own absoloutly no jewelry besides this bracelet) He did exactly what he knew would make me the happiest, but even my future mother in law was like "So....no ring?" Even he gets crap from people who think he cheaped out or whatever because he bought me a bracelet instead.

ARGH!

luckyme502

Yes, it is rude of people to question you on your choice, but at the same time, when you chose a bracelet instead of a ring, you had to know people were going to ask questions. 

melly92087

My fiance bought me a necklace first as an engagement token, it is the "Journey" necklace Kay Jewlers sold. He told me the reasoning behind the necklace was because it is closer to the heart than a ring would be. We too got a bunch of questions on the necklace so he went and bought me a cute, inexpensive small diamond ring from Meijer. Now we just show the ring but I always wear the necklace. 

bethsmiles

That sucks, but you kind of had to expect that when you decided you didn't want a ring. Even girls who have small diamonds or not a diamond at all in their rings get reactions like that. It doesn't really matter what other people think though. The questions aren't meant to hurt you. But telling people that you hate rings and diamonds (because thats what alot of girls have) might hurt them just as much as it hurts you when they question the bracelet. Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion, but when people ask I would just say that a you know its not traditional but a braclet is more your style.

wngschic

I'm sorry people are so rude   To a lesser extent, I've had to deal with that with my ring, since I didn't have a diamond center stone. We chose to put an aquamarine in it (I was looking at the blue topaz too, they're so pretty!), and I've had people ask where the diamond is. The way I deal with it is I *like* being different, and I make sure to tell people that I didn't want to do what everyone else is doing. Just ignore them (easier said than done, I know) and enjoy the moment of being engaged

larina+jeremy

i have a diamond engagement ring and i still get rude remarks just cause its not the biggest diamond ever. my ring is a .25 white gold solitaire and im absolutely in love with it. its perfect for my lifestyle, looks beautiful on because i have very small fingers, and was a reasonable price while still dropping a bit of money (fl spent the equivalent of 1 months pay on it). but i still get the odd comment about it being too tiny, and someone even asked me when i would be getting an upgrade (!) so just so you know, even if you had a more traditional engagement, you would still have to deal with this.

all that aside, i thinj i t is beautiful that you and your fl did something unique and personal. and its awesome that your fl honored your wishes like that congrats!

sara.judkins

I say, to each his own!  Not everyone has to have the same cookie cutter ring.  My ring is gorgeous, and instead of a diamond, my fiance got me a HUGE sapphire.  Sapphire is my birthstone and I have never been a diamond type of girl.  Every ring I have ever been given by my parents has had a sapphire in it.  My birthday is in september, his is september, and both of our parents wedding anniversaries are in september.  THAT means more to me than having a diamond just because everyone else has one.  Way to go on being original!  You don't have to explain yourself to ANYONE!

FutureMrsMcDaniel

That sucks that people have to be rude about it.  But if I'm going to be truthful, I would be a bit taken aback if someone showed me their engagement bracelet.  But that's only because everyone (blahblah) has a diamond ring.
I would just keep doing what you're doing and let people know that you don't like jewlery too much and that you wanted a beautiful bracelet instead of a ring.  You could also be a bit cheeky and tell them that this way, even if you gain weight, you'll still be able to wear your engagement bracelet.
But I have to ask:  What is going to happen with the wedding band?  Are you going to do something else for that too?

musikbx

Look at it this way... people are just being jerks because they're intimidated by your individuality and creativity. :-)

jennylove810

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_engagement-bracelet-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:149f24d7-4298-4664-861b-dfe8604897fePost:8903269e-dd3c-4f59-8c53-4175e853cf51">Re: Engagement Bracelet Rant</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, it is rude of people to question you on your choice, but at the same time, when you chose a bracelet instead of a ring, you had to know people were going to ask questions. 
Posted by luckyme502[/QUOTE]

This.

Just smile and explain you wanted a bracelet instead.  Honestly, OP, you need to just chill out.

luckyme502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_engagement-bracelet-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:149f24d7-4298-4664-861b-dfe8604897fePost:44e095b5-78ed-42ff-adeb-3fb5cb0a8ef6">Re: Engagement Bracelet Rant</a>:
[QUOTE]Look at it this way... people are just being jerks because they're intimidated by your individuality and creativity. :-)
Posted by musikbx[/QUOTE]

Um, not so much.

DJTraceyD

i don't know what it is either!!!  I have a "journey" ring for my engagement ring, instead of a huge diamond, its a row of 5 little diamonds...and its gorgeous and stands for a lot more than a huge solitare and my soon to be step daughters picked it and i get comments about it constantly, only one that bothered me was my maid of honor who basically demanded my FI to get me a solitare for the wedding...I don't care and I'm happy, and you should be too!!  Its not the ring...its the man and the family you're going into

candipokey2003

I like rings, but I'm totally against engagement rings. The original reason for an engagement ring was so that the man could have sex with you and if you got pregnant and were unmarriable then you could sell the ring and support yourself and the child off the ring. The concept is disgusting.

emjohn1019

CandiPokey2003 - your information is completely incorrect. The first documented engagement ring was in 1477 and it was from a king to his bride. It had nothing to do with sex or pregnancy. Engagement rings weren't even common in western culture until the 19th century and diamonds weren't even terribly common before the 1930s.

As for the OP - congrats on your engagment! I'm sorry that people are judgemental about your e-bracelet. I say, if it's what you love, then who cares?! And props to your FI for respecting your wishes and buying you something he knew would make you happy. I'm sure it's frustrating that people aren't being more supportive of your choice, but it's not about them, it's about you and your fiance! Enjoy your lovely bracelet and best wishes for a wonderful life together.