Just Engaged and Proposals

I helped pick out my ring.

So I went with my boyfriend to pick out an engagment ring and I told my boss at work about it & he said that I took that fun out of it because I know what it looks like & now I'm just waiting for it. I have to disagree because I am a size 4.5 & I wanted to see what didnt look gawdy on my hand and certain rings you cant size down that far & I didnt want anything that sat up too high. I dont know how hes going to propose to me but I do know it will be coming soon(its not like hes just going to give the ring to me) I keep thinking about what he said and its kind of bugging me. Did anyone else pick out there ring with there future husband?

Re: I helped pick out my ring.

  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    My ring is a family ring, so yes, I already knew what the ring looked like and made the decision to use it in its original form instead of getting the diamonds set in something new of his design.

  • ohh see.. then you knew exactly what it looked like and everything which I see nothing wrong with obviously. I just dont see how some people cut others down for how they do things. It was a choice me and my future husband made to go look at rings together and pick one out together that we both liked and that was affordable. ring/band set. It just bugs me how people tell me how I ruined the surprise in everything when it was my choice to do so. It just would of been nicer if he said congrats or Im so happy for you, instead of cutting me down right away.
  • My husband didn't propose with a ring (a disappointment to me), so we went shopping together to get it.  We still got what he wanted more because he wanted solitaire.  Obviously he didn't think it took the fun out of it otherwise he would have bought a ring beforehand, right? 
  • SlothGoalsSlothGoals member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2013
    My FI and I looked for rings together. We found a company we both liked and chose 3 ring styles and FI chose my ring from one of those 3. So I knew I would be getting one of them I just didn't know which one until he proposed. FWIW my FI wanted to choose a ring together because he wanted to make sure we were both happy with it. He didn't think it ruined anything.
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  • My ring was an heirloom from my FI's family and he asked me if that's something I would like or if I wanted a new ring. He showed me a picture, so I knew. Also, I thought I wanted something rather different in style until I found out this family ring was an option, and I'm so glad we chose that because of the sentiment behind it.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I picked out my ring. Like you, I have very narrow fingers and I needed something that would look proportionate on it. Plus, I'm just really picky about any jewelry I wear, and if I am going to wear something every day for the rest of my life, I need to love it. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • edited January 2013
    YUP! My H and I do EVERYTHING together. So it was no different with the ring. 
    We went to the jewelry store and picked it out together, but I wasn't allowed to put it on my hand until he proposed (about a week later) and honestly I'm surprised he even planned that without me. haha

    Every couple is different. It's not traditional to do so, but heck I'm sure you are breaking a bunch of traditions anyway.. 
    When people found out I picked out the ring with him and he helped me pick out my wedding gown, they had hissy fits at me (idk why it's so important to people) so my response started becoming, "didn't you live with your H before you were married?" " Didn't you two sleep together before the wedding night? That's breaking just as large of a tradition".. aaaand then they realize they are giant effing hypocrits and shut up after that. ;) 
  • I picked out my own ring. DH wanted to me to love my ring since I'm the one that has to wear it every day.
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  • My ring was a complete surprise, which was really cool. However, my H is very artsy and pays a lot of attention to detail (and frankly, dresses better than I do), so when we started talking about marriage and proposals, I knew I didn't have much to worry about. And I was right. But he loves style and fashion, so it was kinda his thing.
  • I helped picked my ring out as well. I wanted to purchase a ring with a small business owner and the one we found was famiky owned which made it even better. It was an awesome experience being able to look at the different designs and watching my FI's face when I put them on the finger, I gave him three options and he was able to choose what type of stone and size.
  • ohmrs2014ohmrs2014 Dirty Jerz mod
    Moderator 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    Fi and I went shopping for my ring together.  We found a store we both liked, and I was able to pick out styles I liked.  He too wanted me to be comfortable with the ring since I'm the one wearing it for the rest of my life.  We narrowed it down to five top styles and he took it from there.  

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  • My FI and I picked out my ring together too! We had been looking at rings for about 2 years and I asked him before he picked a ring for good, if we could look one last time. I finally found the exact ring I wanted and he bought it 2 days after we went. I had no clue and when he proposed a few months later, it was as if I saw the ring for the first time all over again!

    These are memories you and your future FI are creating together. Don't let anyone knock you for it.

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  • artikaurartikaur member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited February 2013
    I helped my fiance pick out my ring, and boy am I sure glad I did that! I went in thinking I wanted a particular setting and yellow gold. I completely changed my mind. If I hadn't tried on the ring, I would never have known what I think looked good on me, and what felt comfortable.
    I think shopping for rings with him was a great thing b/c it helped me to find a ring I felt comfortable and happy with, and it was a fun experience.

    Unfortunately in life, there are always gonna be people who want to suck the happy right out of you, and take the wind out of your sails. I would advise you to limit how much you discuss wedding details at work/school/on Facebook, in order to reduce the amount of akward interactions you will have with people of this sort (unfortunately, it's not totally avoidable).
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  • Me and FI talked about my ring so he could get a feel for what I wanted.  It wasn't actually in the store and had to be custom made.  He and the jeweler worked together on the final ring and when he proposed I could not have been happier!  Sapphire is my birthstone and I get nothing but compliments about it.  Definitely ignore the haters and bask in the joy of your engagement.  It's going by so fast!
  • My FI picked out the ring and then I saw it before he proposed.  It didn't take any of the fun out of it.  Everyone is different and there is nothing wrong with helping him find your ring.
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  • H and I picked out the ring together (or rather we were looking, I found my ring and basically said "buy that"). It's farily common now-a-days for women to have input into their e-rings.

    Part of planning a wedding means you're going to get stuck listening to EVERYONE's opinions. Just let it roll off your back.
  • It's really not a big deal, I work at a jewelry store (also the jewelry store he got my ring) and I picked mine out without him even being with me. 
  • wow I feel alot better. thank you to all of you. I'm very non traditonal & feel the same as others, as in if I'm wearing it forever, I should love the ring. I know the whole planning process there are going to be a few people who have there input on how I do things or what I chose. In the end I have to realize this is my life and my day that its not anyones choice except mine. I see it as its modern day and choices should be made together. I know the real fit thats going to be where alot of people place there opinion is on that I am not going to be wearing white. I can just see it now.
  • my fi and i picked out my ring together, i didnt know when he was going to propose i got a ring that i liked /suits our budget , then once he did propose i was super surprised so i think youre boss opend his mouth where he shouldnt have
  • FI was taking a job about an hour away at a private school that wouldn't allow me to stay over night as just a girlfriend. While we were packing him up I was telling him how hard it was going to be doing day trips for 9 months and he just said "do you think we should get engaged?" I said yes of course and it had been discussed before. We jumped in the car and picked a ring out right then and there.

    I know he regrets not popping the question but we both really know in our hearts it was the best thing for us at the time and has worked out beautiful.

    He knew I would be involved in the ring process even if he did surprise me because I refused to let him pay for the whole thing.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_i-helped-pick-out-my-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:169878c9-b39e-417f-b3bd-5882db844abbPost:11c52eb1-88d7-48c1-9e99-6fa84590181f">I helped pick out my ring.</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I went with my boyfriend to pick out an engagment ring and I told my boss at work about it & he said that I took that fun out of it because I know what it looks like & now I'm just waiting for it. I have to disagree because I am a size 4.5 & I wanted to see what didnt look gawdy on my hand and certain rings you cant size down that far & I didnt want anything that sat up too high. I dont know how hes going to propose to me but I do know it will be coming soon(its not like hes just going to give the ring to me) I keep thinking about what he said and its kind of bugging me. Did anyone else pick out there ring with there future husband?
    Posted by raquelm7[/QUOTE]

    <div>Don't let him get to you because I did the same thing!  I'm very picky and we have been together for seven plus years so I wanted to make sure that it was something I would love looking at every day for the rest of my life and at this point, if I DIDN'T think an engagement was on its way I would hope I would know! :)  But, we actually just got engaged this past weekend and it was still such a surprise and like someone else said - it was like I had never even looked at the ring in my life.  I helped pick the stone and the band and he let me pick my favorite but when it was all put together it blew me away.  I think going together symbolizes how much you KNOW this will happen and I believe it's a great thing that you're so comfortable with each other that you know an engagement is on the way.  I think that's a wonderful feeling :).  Hopefully he pops the question soon so you can smile while you stare at your ring like I am right now!  Good luck girl!</div>
    The Soon to be Mrs. Godfrey!
  • thanks everyone. & congrats to you memattingly15. so you were in the same situation. that makes me feel so much better that alot of you did the same thing. I know when I see MY ring, not the store example one it will be like seeing it all over again for the first time. specially in my special size. we have been talking about getting engaged for awhile. it just feels so right. both our parents know about it too and they are just so happy for us. I am very excited for the moment to happen. I know when he proposes I will more than likely cry from happiness =)
  • angela_294angela_294 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited January 2013
    I have a similar (but opposite) situation from the OP. I have very big fingers so I didn't want something too small that would just look like I have a bit of sparkle on my sausage fingers but I didn't want to break the bank either. Plus my boyfriend and I have very different tastes on what makes a nice engagement ring. If I left it up to him I probably would have ended up with a gemstone ring set in yellow gold (his mother's engagement ring is a .50ct Ruby flanked by two .50ct diamonds- beautiful ring but just not me). Plus I'm half italian and I got a bit of my dad's olive skin tone so yellow gold just adds to the jaundiced look of my skin (lol).

    Also with having big fingers I couldn't just pick anything out of the local jeweller because most can't be sized up to a 12. I found a Tacori ring I liked and to my joy it can be sized to a 12. Now to patiently wait until he saves up the money :)

    Also, my mother picked out her engagement ring in 1978. So what's good for the tree is good for the apple.
  • My FI and I went ring shopping together. I couldn't decide between 2 so he picked the one he liked best. Sometimes surprises are not a good thing. My FI has picked out some horrible jewelry in the past. Things that you couldn't pay me to wear.
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  • My fiance and I went out and looked for rings together.  We were so happy we did because we ended up picking something we never thought we both would pick.  There are SO MANY HATERS out there and you just have to ignore their ignorance.  My fiance proposed to me in Disney World and the woman at the check in desk ruined the surprise...so I knew it was happening sometime in Disney.  When he actually got down on one knee the shock was so overwhelming and seeing the ring was shocking even though I helped pick it.  It really was like I had never seen it before.  Nothing will ever take away from the best moment in your life, even when people keep bugging you and say "Oh you picked it out together?"  It doesn't matter seeing it in the moment is like seeing it for the first time.
  • I think you should ignore your boss on this one ;)

    Fiance and I didn't necessarily look at rings together, but I did tell him what I liked and we saw rings together once but it wasn't anything I liked there. I mean, if he was going to be spending $$$ on a ring, he wanted to make sure that I liked it. I wear a 5.25-5.5 ring and I don't like anything flashy at all ... I wanted a thinner band with a solitaire round diamond and the other styles I tried on just weren't ones that I liked. So, I definitely shared what I liked but I let him pick out the diamond himself (namely the size since there isn't much to a simple ring). I mean, I was pretty set on a certain style of ring but I gave him other options as well if he wanted to pick them. In the end, I love my ring and we love each other. If you weren't looking to be surprised,it doesn't matter what others think :)
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