Just Engaged and Proposals

Engagement Test, But No Ring?


Re: Engagement Test, But No Ring?

  • Seriously, Two and a Half Men?!?

    Letdown.  I am sad I came back to check this thread this morning.  It was much more fun imagining what the life altering TV show was rather than learning the truth.
  • Well, congrats, he still sounds like a douche lord after you continue to defend him.

    Making you watch anything that has to do with Charlie Sheen - I don't care if he DOES have some sort of mental problem - is stupid.

    It's stupid.  Sorry.  It just is.

    So have fun watching that stupid show.  If that is how he wants you to "earn" your ring, well, have fun with that.
  • Ha... this is all over Two and a Half Men?

    ...men men men, men manly men men men...
  • SERIOUSLY?! Seriously?! Two and a Half Men! That's the life changing television show that you HAVE to sit through? I sit through my FI's crappy television shows all the time but that is not what made him decide to propose! Holy crap I can't believe how ridiculous this is. I can't even imagine what your life is going to be like if he does propose to you. I agree with PP total douche lord!

    Regardless of your mental disabilites, you deserve so much more than being tested by watching a television show. Is he going to do the same thing the day of your wedding? "Hey hun we need to watch something right before the wedding so I can see how good of a wife you will be" or when you decide to have children "You have to watch Battlestar Galactica before we procreate!" Seriously not cool.

    People are just trying to show you how ridiculous this "test" is to see if you guys will get engaged. It really isn't normal. I really hope that you will come to your senses to realize this is not a healthy relationship regardless of what we do or do not know. What you tell us is the only information we know about your relationship and what you have said doesn't seem right.
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  • Oh man, this is funny!

    If my BF suggested I had to watch that stupid cartoon show Archer or play one of his strategy games in order to prove my love, then I'd figure it was the end of our relationship.

    Likewise, if I made him sit through Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, or anything along those lines, we similarly wouldn't last very long.

    If you're going to play this game (and it's fine, as long as it's done for fun rather than as an ultimatum or a true test) then make him toe the line, too - make up watch the entire first season of Glee.

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  • 3 and a half men?! We watch that...NBD.

    Seriously though, you want a ring and he refuses to get you one so you will go get one yourself?! Thats seems...odd and not right.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_engagement-test-but-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:26052561-c622-4735-b543-2c5d4a39a4ccPost:857eb354-6d7d-42a1-8000-f6d9b7149e7e">Re: Engagement Test, But No Ring?</a>:
    [QUOTE]to be fair, I think a few cultural things are worth ditching a man. Such as liking that show and enjoying Nickleback.
    Posted by meganyani[/QUOTE]
    This. This times ten!!
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  • AmandalovesAlAmandalovesAl member
    edited June 2010
    My FI is going to be SOOO Disappointed!! He was dying to know what show it was!!

    And for the record, this makes sense to me.  2 and a half men is a very deep, moving and powerful show that would certainly change the course of ANYONE's marriage.  So all you snarky brides should apologize for your lack of understanding.  This all makes PERFECT sense now.
    imageimageVacation Till our honeymoon!!!
  • Nice to know that the ladies of NEY aren't the only ones being accused of meanness to newbs.

    Anyway, I get my BF to watch Bridezillas with me sometimes. He's finally discovered my evil plan--those girls are so crazy that nothing I do could ever seem that bad in comparison. Wink
  • I don't think you should get married.  Bad plan.

    Here's why:

    You're supposed to marry someone you love exactly the way they are when you meet them.  There shouldn't be any dealbreakers like not being able to accept the other person fully when you are discussing marriage.  I wouldn't even stand for a relationship where that was the case.

    You need to set higher standards for yourself...and a test is a one-time deal.  It doesn't mean anything changes with you and that suddenly you are all-accepting.  If you can't accept him and love him exactly as he is right now, then don't marry him.

    On that note - boyfriend knew I wanted a ring if a proposal was in our future, before we started dating.  I made it very clear that it was important to me.  Ex-Husband did not think it was of any importance, just like yours.  And he didn't take the marriage seriously either.  It's a sign of your boyfriend not being able to make small sacrifices for you, if he wants to marry you for real he would be willing to do anything to make it happen.  A man will make his woman his however he has to if he really wants her.  If he doesn't care that much then why would you marry him?

    I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I've been there and see the red flags all over it.  Differences of opinion on matters of principle do NOT go away once married - they get worse.  Trust me - this is why I divorced my ex. 

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_engagement-test-but-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:26052561-c622-4735-b543-2c5d4a39a4ccPost:f559834a-7605-439f-910f-58805fe2aee7">Re: Engagement Test, But No Ring?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Here is my engagement test:  1.  Boyfriend says, "I love you, and I want to marry you someday."  You are NOT engaged. 2.  Boyfriend says, "I love you, and I want to marry you as soon as I get a job, but let's keep it secret for now."  You are NOT engaged. 3.  Boyfriend says, "I love you and I want to marry you as soon as we can arrange it, now let's go shopping for rings and announce it to our families."  You ARE engaged. Sorry, ladies, but I learned this one the hard way.  Remember, never believe anything a man says when he has an - uh - enlarged organ.
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

  • while his request isn't horrible, I find it strange that he really honestly would hold out on you over something so petty.  What if you refused?  Would he just never propose?  That's ridiculous.  If I were you, I'd refuse on principal.  I'd tell him that I'd be happy to watch the show with him on occasion just to keep him company and because I love him but not if it's some sort of test.  No one likes being tested.  I think this is an indication that he is not as serious about you as you hope he is.  

    You can just tell people you are engaged without a ring, however, I don't know if I'd start planning a wedding yet because your boyfriend doesn't seem serious.

    For some people, not having a ring makes sense for them and it's fine.  But, in these cases, there's not someone who is unsure enough to give "tests" and they've discussed getting married and what married life will be like in great detail and he is helping to pay some of the deposits and is involved in planning the wedding.  

  • t, and testing people is just what he does. It's a coping mechanism that he had to learn, and it's also part of his condition and I accept that.
    Posted by shinxy[/QUOTE]

    It's nice that you accept him but in a marriage, he must learn to trust his wife.  When you test someone, you're not trusting them.  I can see how someone might want to do this in a relationship but once you move to marriage, this kind of behavior has to stop and you just have to trust.  
  • I've been happily married for over 5 years and together for almost 9 and guess what we have a few shows we both like, a few I love he doesnt, and vice versa tv doesnt matter in the long run. My advice for you is to take a good long hard look at exactly how much respect you both have for each other because I read this thread from beginning to end and in my opinion you should both think about that.  You mention how  you both have a hard time making friends and being accepted  have you considered that maybe thats part of the reason you two are still together and are settling down. No Im not in your relationship and I dont know the whole story. we know what youve told us. personally from what Ive gathered from what youve said youre both settling. If my DH didnt get me any kind of a ring after knowing I really wanted one and tried testing me i would feel insulted, like my feelings didnt matter, and like he didnt trust my word and my love as proof. Now Im no fool I know every person thinks and processes things differently.  So whatever you choose to do good luck.
        Now for how youve blown up and exploded at the girls on here if you didnt want us in your personal life you shouldnt have came out asking for it. Like megk8oz said you could have left it at "he wont get me a ring but I want one" So this is all youre doing and instead of lashing out and being so rude maybe you should try to be thankful that people took the time and energy to not only read but reply to your post. It could have just sat here empty and you have zero feedback.  its a chance you take when you post that you might not hear exactly what you want to.  So good luck with whatever you do
        Lastly a few of you girls...come on honestly those jokes were just funny...I giggled alot. especially the anti-climatic 2 1/2 men ones

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  • Clearly. our Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer-hating bride to be doesn't care WHO she marries, but BY GOD, she's planning a wedding!!!  And there's nothing any of us rude bitches can say about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Oy.  I give this marriage 6 months, provided they actually make it to the wedding day...
    we got it right the second time around! ten.twenty.twenty-ten. Anniversary
  • The Knot is full of women?!?! Who would have thought?! ;)

    I don't care why you don't like knotties. They are mean to you...because they are women? Please. 

    You say you have been on forums so you should know this is the kind of response and back and forth that goes on on all forums. EVERYWHERE. How do we know this? Because WE too have been on forums. Some of us have even moderated them. This forum is no different than those others. I think you got more upset at the reactions because somewhere, deep inside, what these posters stated hit a chord with you. Whether you want to acknowledge that at this time is up to you. Now or later it doesn't matter...one day it will have to be dealt with. 
    If you truly wanted to know about the e-ring issue  and that was IT you wouldn't have given the whole post like you did. You would have said 'Hey, how do I signify my engagement without a ring?' and left it at that. You asked what you really wanted to know...even if you didn't realize it.  So don't get pissy because you got the answer and didn't like it. 
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