Lurking for a while here but never posted

GnS2010

Hi ladies,

I have been with my boyfriend right now for almost 4 years we have talked about marriage more than one occassion since we started dating we know we want to get married but he wants to wait until he gets a better job until we get engaged.  I have a daughter from a previous marriage my daughter adores him and he adores my daughter as well.  He is a great guy but sometimes it seems to me like he has his doubts or maybe I'm being paranoid, he's always used different excuses why we have not gotten engaged so that makes me think and wonder if he is scared to make the full commitment.  Not sure if I posted on the right board.

Any advice will help.

Thank you ladies

emarston1

Whatever you do, do not give him an ultimatum - things will not end well.  You need to have an honest, open conversation with him about what he wants out of your relationship and life.  Do not be critical of what he has to say but just listen.  Once you know what he wants, you need to see if that's compatible with what you want.

GL!

CaptiolBride

Definately go and talk with him openly about your thoughts.  Tell him you would be happy to be his wife in the future and ask him what he thinks.  You will never know unless you communicate.  He may has some questions of his own....:)

Invol

I had fears of the same thing. I was with my boyfriend for six years, to the day, before he proposed. He always said he wanted to have a better job and be more stable before proposing and he meant it. He felt like this was the time when he was ABLE to give the the proposal "i deserved". Your boyfriend could be doing that same thing. If you feel like he's sincere when you have conversations about it, you may just have to ride that wave out.

Vintagelove4

My FI wanted to be a better provider as well before we got engaged. Don't give him an ultimatum, but give him some time. Maybe even help him look for a better job to speed things up.