Not sure I like the ring.

mattsfuturemissus

My sweet, wonderful fiance wanted to choose the ring on his own. Its a lovely ring, but not what I might have picked. He told me to tell him if I don't like it, but I don't have the heart to tell him. Should I? We don't keep things from one another and I know he tried so hard. I just don't know what to do.

luckyme502

If it was me, I would tell him.  You might have to wear that ring for the rest of your life, so you should like it. 

katanne9

I wear wear it for a week or 2 and see if it grows on you.

If it doesn't, and he's already offered to exchange it, I would.

Julz629

I would wear it for a bit as it may grow on you.  Right now, you are probably thinking that it isn't what you would have picked, but you may be able to look beyond that and love it just as much.

FI picked out my ring, but he also knew my style and that I wanted round cut, thin band, etc.  It means so much to me that he picked out the ring and he is super proud when people ask about it.  It would kill me to take that pride away from him.

But at the same time, this is something YOU have to wear the rest of your life.  So if you don't like it, definitely consider changing it.

samurai21

I agree with PP's. My ring is beautiful, but not necessarily what I would have picked for myself. I always liked the look of solitaires with pave bands and my ring is a bit bulkier than I imagined. But, after I wore it and started showing it to people and getting compliments, and after hearing FI talk about why he picked it, I fell even more in love with it and now can't ever imagine not having this ring as my ring.

So give it some time, be open to it, and if after that you still don't like it then talk to FI about exchanging it. Make sure how long you have to exchange it though. Depending on the store policy if FI bought it a few months before proposal you might have limited time. GL!

brilibby4

Talk to him about it for sure!  It may grow on you after a few weeks but I think he would appreciate your honesty either way.

luckyme502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-sure-like-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:33e43539-4332-4c06-b81f-d3cddafb263dPost:d67f016d-e7a3-4c9b-ba21-2b5dc2d4a033">Re: Not sure I like the ring.</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't really like my ring at first either.  My FI offered to allow me to exchange it, but when I did mention the idea of looking at other possibilities, the look on his face told me that he was really hurt.  I wouldn't suggest exchanging the ring.  There are many other options for changing the look of your ring without changing the ring itself.  You can pick out a band that will complementary or even purchase a wrap for the ring.  If you really dislike it that much, consider having it reset.  But I wouldn't take the decision lightly, I do think that even though your FI said he wouldn't mind exchanging your ring but he will most likely be hurt.  I agree with the other comments about wearing your ring and letting it grow on you. Mine did, especially when people started to complement it and I realize that it wasn't about my ring, it was about me spending the rest of my life with someone I love.
Posted by CaseyNicole425[/QUOTE]

I just think that there will be many times throughout a marriage when you will have to tell your spouse something they don't want to hear that may hurt their feelings.  You should be able to be honest with them and tell them anyway.  Telling your FI you don't like the ring he picked should be okay.  It is true that it is not about ring, so he should have no problem changing it if it isn't what you really want.  I just can't imagine settling for a ring I didn't love, I didn't settle for a man I didn't love. 

frenchy730

Wear it for a bit.  I wasn't crazy about the band for my e-ring at first.  It wasn't exactly my style.  Fiance said if I didn't like it we could switch it.  By the end of our vacation (where he proposed) I couldn't imagine wearing anything different.  Give it some time, you may love it once you get used to seeing it on your finger.

nikkic3

If the roles were reversed, wouldn't you like to know if he wasn't completely happy with his ring?  I know I would.  I would talk to him about it.  You have to wear it for the rest of your life so you might as well LOVE it.  When you talk to him, tell him the qualities of the ring that you really like so he doesn't feel like a total failure.  Be sure to tell him how much it meant that he picked it out himself.  Then say you want to start your married lives out as honestly as possible and tell him you would be interested in looking at some other options.  Good luck!  It will be a hard topic, but if you are honest, you will both be happier in the end.  

smilecrazy8

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-sure-like-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:33e43539-4332-4c06-b81f-d3cddafb263dPost:d67f016d-e7a3-4c9b-ba21-2b5dc2d4a033">Re: Not sure I like the ring.</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't really like my ring at first either.  My FI offered to allow me to exchange it, but when I did mention the idea of looking at other possibilities, the look on his face told me that he was really hurt.  I wouldn't suggest exchanging the ring.  There are many other options for changing the look of your ring without changing the ring itself.  You can pick out a band that will complementary or even purchase a wrap for the ring.  If you really dislike it that much, consider having it reset.  But I wouldn't take the decision lightly, I do think that even though your FI said he wouldn't mind exchanging your ring but he will most likely be hurt.  I agree with the other comments about wearing your ring and letting it grow on you. Mine did, especially when people started to complement it and I realize that it wasn't about my ring, it was about me spending the rest of my life with someone I love.
Posted by CaseyNicole425[/QUOTE]
I had a similar situation to CaseyNicole. He specifically asked me if I liked the ring and I can't lie for the life of me. So I simply told him it probably wasn't what I would have picked. He offered to have me exchange it for something else but when I told him I would think and pray about it, I could just tell he wasn't really thrilled about the idea. He liked the idea of me wearing something that HE got me. But I still wanted to be sure so I thought about it. I decided what was important was WHO I was marrying and that putting what would honor him first in this situation would be just one of many. Afterall- it's just an object but it REPRESENTS a complete commitment to each other. It's true, you need to be open with each other. However, you also will need to learn that its not all about what YOU like but the compromises and decisions you can make together.

If its really bothering you,  I would talk to him about it and try to get a feel for what he thinks about it. If together you decide to pick out another ring, make sure you bring him with you and try to decide on something together. It will let him at least feel like his opinion matters. Then, when you put the ring on, it'll still be one HE picked out!

Good luck and God bless!

loop0406

It's the thought that counts, you should wear it with pride that he picked something out for you HOPING you would love it. Some girls don't even get a ring, some get ugly rings, little rings, etc. I say be happy he gave you a ring and wear it, the marriage will be about growing old together not what is on your finger.

nebbiolo

I'd tell him not only because he asked you to but ultimately you have the opportunity to get something you love vs. tolerate. Separate the emotion from the ring for a second and realize that you will have to wear this for the rest of you life - so why not love it! The symbolism will still be there regardless of whether you like the ring or sort of like it - so get one you love!

butterflies51908

He picked it out because he obviously thought it suited you.  Be grateful he bought you a ring & wanted to marry you.

Lazyzoey

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-sure-like-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:33e43539-4332-4c06-b81f-d3cddafb263dPost:63b21f76-ec79-42c3-ac7f-b3b9f1063b72">Re: Not sure I like the ring.</a>:
[QUOTE]If it was me, I would tell him.  You might have to wear that ring for the rest of your life, so you should like it. 
Posted by luckyme502[/QUOTE]

I agree with you :-)