• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Just Engaged and Proposals

Too soon?

I'm actually not engaged, but my boyfriend has been talking about it. I'm not sure when he's going to ask but from our conversations it seems like it will be within 8 to 10 months. I want to say yes, but I'm only 18 and I'm not sure that it would be the best idea to get married right now, because I'm just starting college and whatnot. So I'm wondering if 24 years Is too long for an engagement. Is it a good idea to wait or should the wedding be soon after the proposal?

Re: Too soon?

  • 2 to 4 years, not 24
  • It's your decision what works for one couple may or may not work for another. My engagement is exactly 2 yrs from the day he proposed. I would love to have married him a lot earlier but were pretty much paying for this on our own. Do what you feel is right when the time comes.
  • If you are not ready to get married, you aren't ready to be engaged.  If you are meant to be together, you will be, regardless of when you get engaged.  Wait until you are ready to say YES! without hesitation.  If you are hesitating, you aren't ready. 

    Talk to him about it and see whether or not you are on the same page. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • If you feel you're too young to get married, let your boyfriend know before he proposes. Long engagements are good for saving money and whatnot, but you don't have to get engaged right now.
    October 2012 December Siggy: Favourite Wedding Picture
    PIC_281copy1 Anniversary
  • Wait until your done with your education and have your career.
    LilySlim Weight loss tickers Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited July 2012
    I'm not trying to sound rude when I say this, but if you have to ask Internet strangers if you're ready to be engaged/get married, you're not ready.

    I knew without a shadow of a doubt I wanted to say "yes" when H proposed. If you don't feel that way, hold off. If you think your BF might propose soonish, I would talk to him beforehand about this. Sit down and have a serious discussion of your future, when you both were thinking of marriage, etc. I think it's important to be on the same page. If you play along and seem like you want to get engaged, but then say "no" when he proposed, he'll probably be crushed. So talk about it before he gets down on one knee.


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Vacation
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_too-soon-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:39298fdc-cfd5-4d01-9df6-0721f1d462e3Post:e36d0242-02b8-4fdc-b664-97e6f007e730">Too soon?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm actually not engaged, but my boyfriend has been talking about it. I'm not sure when he's going to ask but from our conversations it seems like it will be within 8 to 10 months. <strong>I want to say yes</strong>, but I'm only 18 and I'm not sure that it would be the best idea to get married right now, because I'm just starting college and whatnot. <strong>So I'm wondering if 24 years Is too long for an engagement. Is it a good idea to wait or should the wedding be soon after the proposal?</strong>
    Posted by rayne17[/QUOTE]

    There are two different parts here.

    Part 1: like everyone else said you if you are asking people on the internet or hesitating about it then you are not ready to get engaged. Have a talk with him and tell him you want to get school or whatever it is you want done done before you get engaged.

    IF you didnt word the first part right and you mean of course I would say yes I just would like a little longer engagement then I would think a 2 year engagement is fine. 4 years kind of looks like you are just holding of for awhile so you might as well hold off on getting engaged.

    Thing is, if you wait two years is this going to be enough time for you? I am also 18 and engaged and you have to decided this for the right reasons. We plan on waiting 2 years because we want some time to plan and enjoy the engagement. BUT we are NOT waiting 2 years because of school or waiting for life to settle down. Life will always change and things will change with time, it might take me 10years to finish school but am I going to have a 10 year engagement because i want to finish school first? NO!

    If you feel it is important to finish school before getting engaged then I would wait.
  • I agree with pps.  If you have to ask, you probably aren't ready.  Please discuss this with your boyfriend before he proposes, because no one wants to get told no.  That would be devastating.  

    2 years is not a really long time to be engaged (even though it seems like it sometimes).  But remember, life is always changing.  Just because you don't have school, doesn't mean something else can't happen and be a big deal.  Grad school comes to mind, or a new job, or moving.  Stuff happens.  That's life.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker PersonalMilestone
  • I'm 20 years old, getting married in two months. My FI proposed over two years ago and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was ready for that commitment. We're paying for the wedding ourselves, and the two years "wait" has given us time to save up for the wedding. I really don't think there's a set rule you should follow as far as what is too soon, etc. Go with your own judgement, but be honest with yourself.
  • You will approach college differently if you have a boyfriend vs. a fiance. Don't do yourself the disservice of skipping your young adult hood because you're in a hurry to make it to mid-adult hood.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards