engaged 5 days ago and wondering how long i can procrastinate planning!

sarcasticgirl

call me the atypical girl, but planning my dream wedding has NEVER been something i wanted to do.

I'm happy to be engaged, and looking forward to spending the rest of my life with my FI, but OMG, i'm overwhelmed.
We've set a date for may 7, 2011, so I know that I have time.

But seriously when i read planning books of everything that needs to be done and organized, i just want to run off and elope!

danieliza1127

Well the good news for you then is that you have TONS of time.  Even though most people plan a year for planning the wedding, it really doesn't take that long.  You could really spend the next 6-9 months just looking at pictures and getting ideas before you really even have to do anything.

Use the Knot Checklist (top right).  It's so helpful and will really keep you on track and keep you from being overwhelmed.  You have the date set, you can really relax now and just get ideas and start to get a picture of the type of wedding you two want to have.  Once you have that figured out, start looking around at places to have the ceremony and reception.  Once that falls into place, the rest is as easy or stressful as you make it.

JessAndTrav

Start getting an idea of what you want now. I had a 17-month engagement, and my wedding is this weekend.

I have a two tasks this week and I'm done:
1. Pay vendors
2. Make programs.

Having a lot of time to get stuff ready made my life so much easier.

Anon I. Mouse

You have lots of time.

I never even had a "dream wedding". FI and I were engaged in October, and planned a wedding that "fit" the both of us (with no expectations of perfection!).

No planning books or the like. Just a lot of communication and brainstorming between us.

We are both happy with what we have planned, and have been relatively unstressed by the whole thing (with a few minor stresses). We have never felt overwhelmed by it.

So, it does not need to be stressful. It only gets that way if you allow the planning/wedding day to dominate your lives or you put expectations of it being "absolutely perfect".

Relax, breathe, and just start communicating with your FI about what ideas work for the both of you.

sarcasticgirl

i have no ideas of a PERFECT wedding. we're starting to talk about what we do want and what we don't want. basically simple yet nice and FUN! (and hopefully relatively inexpensive).  The stressful part comes in having to research to pick flowers, photographer, bakery, caterers ...that kind of stuff. Because i'm just clueless. it's the fact that there's a lot of things to be done that is overwhelming. I don't have family here to help so that adds to stress. I want the whole process to be fun, and i think it will be.
I just need a clear time line of what has to be done so i can get organized and spread things out so it doesn't feel like life is all wedding planning all the time!

Anon I. Mouse

First, you have tons of time.  Don't panic.

Generally they suggest giving yourself a year, however many do it in far less (including myself). Generally you should start with a budget, then a venue and date (depending on when or where you want to hold it, you may have to be flexible on the venue or the date depending on which is more important).

My FI and I planned the entire thing ourself (we don't live near family either and are paying for it all ourselves anyway) and at a distance (destination wedding). We just decided what we wanted and put it into action. I confess, he was far more involved in the planning than I was! We had most of it put together within a matter of 2-3 weeks and at this point only have minor things to figure out.

If you feel THAT overwhelmed, maybe consider setting aside some of your budget for a wedding planner. They can keep track of, and manage, all the details for you and sure make things easier. If FI and I had wanted a larger wedding, we certainly would have gone that route.

danieliza1127

Be sure to use all the other parts of this site too.  The checklist is awesome and if you go the main Knot, you'll find everything you could want to know about picking vendors, questions to ask, etiquette, Q&A stuff, flowers, invitations, all of that. 

liz745

If you can afford it i would suggest a wedding planner.

MKO317

I bought my dress 1 week after we got engaged.

spoiled1819

This probably won't help but just wanted to let you know you're not the only one.  My dad offered my fiance and I a nice some of money to elope.  I'm somewhat considering it cuz #1: I don't really wanna wait till our set wedding date and #2: All this planning is quite overwhelming.  Plus my fiance doesn't really care about anything.  He says "Tell me what to wear and where to be."  So much help!  I've already started looking at dresses and colors and venues and things but there's only so much you can do with this much time.  And I have to agree, the checklist is a really great tool.