• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Just Engaged and Proposals

Not liking my engagement ring

Hello there,

I got engaged last weekend and I am very happy. The only problem is I'm not inlove with my ring. My Fiance and I were dating for 4 yrs and living together for 3 yrs before he popped the question. We have always talked about getting married and he knows I love jeweleries. I would say I am a pretty trendy and flashy person. I gave him pictures of the style of the rings I wanted so that he would pick the right one. We had a similar issue a few years ago when he bought me earrings and I did not like it because it was so simple and boring. When I got the ring, I was really surprised that he picked that one considering it did not look like the rings I had in the pictures. He said he mixed the style of 2 different rings. The ring is 14k white gold, it has 6 small diamonds on each side and it has .61 carat good quality diamond in the middle. While it has enough sparkle, I feel like he did not take my consideration in terms of style, and I would have preferred it a little bit bigger. I told him how I felt about the ring while he was upset about it, I do feel bad about not liking my ring. I told him that I would like to get a bigger stone in the middle but he says no because it is what he picked for me and I should happy. I know he is right but I have been looking at my ring every single day and I still don't like it. So what do you do? Just suck it up?
Pls. be honest..I want your opinion as I am the first one to get engaged out of all my friends..
«1

Re: Not liking my engagement ring


  • Your going to get honesty - most people are going to tell you to suck it up.  However, you are past point, so I think that if you can get your diamond into a different setting, but keep the original diamond, then perhaps you both will be pleased.  I am sure he got everything he could afford for you and that should be enough to make yo happy.  I am not sure what i would do in that situation since FI and I picked out my ring togehter.
    [IMG]http://i1222.photobucket.com/albums/dd490/Lilou902/030-1-2-2.jpg[/IMG]


    Kisses + sexy underwear = BFP 9-14-12 EDD 5-26-13br>

    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt155c6e.aspx[/img][/url]


    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=team-green&utm_medium=ubb&utm_campaign=badges"><img src="http://images.thenestbaby.com/badges/tb_sig_green.gif"></a>
  • Honest opinion: you sound like a brat.  He took the time to pick out a ring he thought you would love.  Wanting it "bigger" sounds a little selfish.
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited August 2010
    jeweleries.  jeweleries...?  I'm sorry - that's not a word, but thanks for playing.

    I agree with futuremrs: you sound like a total brat.  You want a larger ring?  Do you know how much diamonds cost?  Maybe your fiance did the best he could and you're standing there, wagging the ring in his face going, "this isn't what I wanted!  The center stone isn't big enough!  Didn't you look at the pictures I gave you??" 

    How does that sound to you?  It sounds bratty, in case you weren't sure.

    You're engaged.  You're getting married.  That guy who bought you that ring wants to spend his life with you.  Isn't that enough??  Isn't that enough for anyone?  Good grief.  Think about the bigger picture and stop focusing on the silly ring.

    I've been engaged for well over a year.  I adore my ring, but that wasn't what the engagement was about, and a year on, I look at my ring and see what it represents, not how much money my fiance spent or how sparkly it is.  Seriously.  Oh my god, I could keep going, but this might fall on deaf ears anyway.
  •  I  agree you do sound kinda like a brat . He took time to find you a ring and spent the money on you and you should love it. It shouldn't be about the size of the ring ,it should be more about what that ring means. 
  • It doesn't sound like you are having an issue with the "style" of the ring like you are saying. It sounds like you are having an issue with the size of your center stone. I understand that you want a "big rock", but like a previous poster said.... do you have any idea how much these things cost? They are EXPENSIVE especially if he had a custom setting made or a designer setting. Designer settings are ridiculously expensive. It sounds like he went above and beyone to try and create something specifically for YOU. I think you should realize the sentiment in that.
  • ... and you should post a pic of your ring because I love seeing rings! I bet it is gorgeous. :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-liking-engagement-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:6719ea54-60fb-43cf-b839-f604f92f90c5Post:7ded2747-406a-4236-a013-e0920fe2549f">Re: Not liking my engagement ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]jeweleries.  jeweleries...?  I'm sorry - that's not a word, but thanks for playing.
    Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

    ^THIS!

    Also, there is a big difference, IMO, between not loving the style of your ring and not thinking it is big enough.  Your fiance probably spent what he could or what he felt appropriate for a piece of jewelry.  You are being selfish and rude.  While I love my ring, I was excited when fi proposed because I want to spend the rest of my life with him.  I am happy because we are getting married, not because he bought a "big enough" ring. 
    image
  • Hey everyone,

    thanks for for your input. Yes I know I sound like a brat. My FI have always been okay with me giving him suggestions as to what I want regardless whether it is for my birthday or other occasions so I did not see the proposal as an exception. I just wanted to know what your opinions are in this type of situation. I talked to my friend and she suggested then maybe I can mention it nicely to my FI if it bothers me. 
    I would say that it is a bit of both. The size and the style of the ring that I am not crazy about



    Yes I know it is expensive as he had changed the center stone himself to a bigger and better quality of diamond that what was originally on the setting. So yeah I love him and I do know deep inside that he knew it was the ring when he picked it out for me...to Briella here is a pic of my ring.


  • IMO its beautiful. What kind of ring would you have preferred? 
    "does this sweater make me look fat?" "no, the fact that your fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look purple".
  • I am glad you posted that pic. Your ring is gorgeous and it "looks" larger than 0.60
    If you are really dead set on getting a larger stone maybe you could ask him if you could switch the setting to a plain band (if you have a refund policy) and use the money to upgrade the stone?

    My true opinion is that your ring is gorgeous the way it is, your fiance sounds like a sweetheart and really tried to get you something he thought you would love. I would keep it.
  • I would have preferred a different style. Maybe with some twist on the band, I wasn't sure if it can be changed so that is why I said I would like a bigger stone just to change it up a bit. 

     Mark Schneider Design -  Affection - 15224 

    I told him that I like this ring, I would be ok with a small center stone but I love this style anyway it doesn't matter now because I cannot get it changed.
    Also my ring is a bit loose, how loose is it supposed to be?
  • You can always take it back to the jewerly store to get it fitted properly. But like the other ladies said, you sound very immature and bratty. The ring style/size/shape aren't what matters, it is the marriage. I am sure he did the best he would with what he could afford. Of course I would have like to have a bigger diamond, but still love the one I have bc it was exactly what I wanted and my H picked it out himself. Get over yourself!
    image
    Anniversary
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-liking-engagement-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:6719ea54-60fb-43cf-b839-f604f92f90c5Post:9bfd550e-ba03-4315-9496-0c3a44635e4d">Not liking my engagement ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hello there, I got engaged last weekend and I am very happy. The only problem is I'm not inlove with my ring. My Fiance and I were dating for 4 yrs and living together for 3 yrs before he popped the question. We have always talked about getting married and he knows I love jeweleries. I would say I am a pretty trendy and flashy person. I gave him pictures of the style of the rings I wanted so that he would pick the right one. We had a similar issue a few years ago when he bought me earrings and I did not like it because it was so simple and boring. When I got the ring, I was really surprised that he picked that one considering it did not look like the rings I had in the pictures. <strong>He said he mixed the style of 2 different rings.</strong> The ring is 14k white gold, it has 6 small diamonds on each side and it has .61 carat good quality diamond in the middle. While it has enough sparkle, I<strong> feel like he did not take my consideration in terms of style</strong>, and I would have preferred it a little bit bigger. I told him how I felt about the ring while he was upset about it, I do feel bad about not liking my ring. I told him that I would like to get a bigger stone in the middle but he says no because it is what he picked for me and I should happy. I know he is right but I have been looking at my ring every single day and I still don't like it. So what do you do? Just suck it up? Pls. be honest..I want your opinion as I am the first one to get engaged out of all my friends..
    Posted by CaylaSummer[/QUOTE]
    Number 1, that ring is absolutely beautiful.
    Number 2, reread your post and the parts I put in bold.  It sounds to me like he put A LOT of thought into the style of your ring as he tried to combine multiple styles to please you.  Some girls get engaged w/out e-rings, perhaps he should have gone that route...
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited August 2010
    Exactly why I'm a huge advocate of the couple going to the jeweler's together to look at rings.  DH told the jeweler what he could afford and I got to pick from those rings.  I picked a ring from the bunch and told DH "I want this ring as my e-ring."  Problem solved.  Got just what I wanted.  Romantic?  Maybe not.  But I got a ring I loved at a price DH was able to pay.

    But as for your 'issue', I'm going to ditto all the previous posters.  Did you ever think that your FI went to the jeweler's and showed them the pictures and couldn't afford that kind of design?  Men aren't stupid.  He obviously wanted to get you something in his budget that was comparable to the rings you showed him.

    It seems completely lost on you that your FI gave you this ring while asking you to be his wife.  That's the big picture.  He didn't have to give you a ring at all.  No woman has to have or deserves a ring.  Your FI decided he wanted to give you one.  'Problems' like this make me concerned that a bride is wanting to get married for the wrong reasons

    Honest opinion:  You've had the ring for 1 week.  One.  That's no where near enough time to decide whether you hate it.  I think you should apologize to your FI for being insensitive and, as you said, "suck it up".

    Also remember that you are going to be wearing a wedding band with your ring.  Maybe you and your FI could compromise -- you may want to look at diamond wedding bands.  It adds a  lot of sparkle.
  • OP,

    it sounds like your FI tried to please you. Your ring is beautiful. You realize that diamonds cost thousands right? You realize that just the setting can cost thousands by itself right? (Especially designer ones.)

    You can always upgrade down the road if both of you are ok with that. For now just give it time, you may grow to love it.

    About sizing. The jeweler that he bought the ring from should size the ring for free. It takes a few business days to a week. (if they do it at the store)

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

    image
    *This is Not Legal Advice*
  • That is a gorgeous ring. 

    Please get over yourself.
  • Sorry you're being selfish and a brat.
     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • i love your ring it is really pretty 
  • Every girl wants bigger... but your FI put alot of thought into what he did.  You should appreciate you got what you got. Some people are lucky they can afford anything at all.. My FI and I looked at rings that cost 2-3k... he ended up buying a ring that was 7k... I was mad that he spent the money.... LOL
    Photobucket We're Married!!!!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-liking-engagement-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:6719ea54-60fb-43cf-b839-f604f92f90c5Post:fc96ea79-9be6-4398-9422-1e774b4315dd">Re: Not liking my engagement ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey everyone, thanks for for your input. Yes I know I sound like a brat. My FI have always been okay with me giving him suggestions as to what I want regardless whether it is for my birthday or other occasions so I did not see the proposal as an exception. I just wanted to know what your opinions are in this type of situation. I talked to my friend and she suggested then maybe I can mention it nicely to my FI if it bothers me.  I would say that it is a bit of both. The size and the style of the ring that I am not crazy about Yes I know it is expensive as he had changed the center stone himself to a bigger and better quality of diamond that what was originally on the setting. So yeah I love him and I do know deep inside that he knew it was the ring when he picked it out for me...to Briella here is a pic of my ring.
    Posted by CaylaSummer[/QUOTE]

    You are totally contradicting yourself. The size of the center diamond is not going to change the STYLE of the ring at all. The cut of the diamond? Sure. But the size? Nope. It sounds like you've already told your FI you're not crazy about the ring, and he basically told you to get over it. So now the ball is in your court, and you should do exactly that. Get over it.
    image
    (Married)meganandshane.weebly.com~
    (Planning)shaneandmegan.weebly.com
  • There is most likely no other woman on this earth that would look at that ring and want it bigger, its perfect.  As others have said, get over yourself!!
    Photobucket Baby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Your ring is very beautiful.  I have a ring i love and my FI had it custom made for me and i wouldn't have it any other way.  Your FI wants to spend the rest of his life with you and got you a ring made just for you, enjoy it.
  • I think that ring is gorgeous and is timeless. It doesn't look like 0.60 at all. I understand your need to vent though, and it is good you did it here. Don't rag on him too much because it will really hurt his feelings.
  • Out of curiosity, what size center stone would make you happy?
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Hello,

    I don't want to get blasted anymore than I already have. Anyway thanks for all your input, I was just curious to get a different perspective since I actually do not have friends that are engaged or married so I was not quite sure how to address the issue of not liking my ring. I will eventually grow into it. Maybe I was just a bit stressed out because we have a wedding to plan.
  • You asked for honest opinions and thats what you got.  Had you looked at older posts you'd have known what type of reaction girls get when they come on here and complain about their ring.  Just sayin.
    Photobucket Baby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-liking-engagement-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:6719ea54-60fb-43cf-b839-f604f92f90c5Post:9bfd550e-ba03-4315-9496-0c3a44635e4d">Not liking my engagement ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hello there, I got engaged last weekend and I am very happy. The only problem is I'm not inlove with my ring. My Fiance and I were dating for 4 yrs and living together for 3 yrs before he popped the question. We have always talked about getting married and he knows I love jeweleries <font color="#ff0000">(not Ia word - try again).</font>  would say I am a pretty trendy and flashy person. I gave him pictures of the style of the rings I wanted so that he would pick the right one. We had a similar issue a few years ago when he bought me earrings and I did not like it because it was so simple and boring <font color="#ff0000">(here you sound like a spoiled brat).</font> When I got the ring, I was really surprised that he picked that one considering it did not look like the rings I had in the pictures. He said he mixed the style of 2 different rings. The ring is 14k white gold, it has 6 small diamonds on each side and it has .61 carat good quality diamond in the middle. While it has enough sparkle, I feel like he did not take my consideration in terms of style, and I would have preferred it a little bit bigger <font color="#ff0000">(ok so you are happy with the 12 little diamonds but mad the center diamond was not to your standard?  really...that is down right bratty, immature, and selfish).</font> I told him how I felt about the ring while he was upset about it, I do feel bad about not liking my ring<font color="#ff0000"> (obviously you don't feel bad enough since your fi just proposed and you threw it back at him for not being good enough...i think it's more you pity yourself for not being a princess and getting exactly what you what).</font> I told him that I would like to get a bigger stone in the middle but he says no because it is what he picked for me and I should happy <font color="#ff0000">(at least your fi is down to earth you should be thrilled and it's not about the size of the ring...the ring is just a symbol - money can't buy love you know...well maybe for you it can).</font> I know he is right but I have been looking at my ring every single day and I still don't like it. So what do you do? Just suck it up?<font color="#ff0000"> (too late to suck it up you already crushed your fi's ego)</font> Pls. be honest..I want your opinion as I am the first one to get engaged out of all my friends..
    Posted by CaylaSummer[/QUOTE]
    image image

    Sept 2011 Siggy Challenge: Favorite Ceremony Photo Anniversary

    ~~Planning~~


    ~~FOR SALE~~
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-liking-engagement-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:6719ea54-60fb-43cf-b839-f604f92f90c5Post:fc96ea79-9be6-4398-9422-1e774b4315dd">Re: Not liking my engagement ring</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey everyone, thanks for for your input. Yes I know I sound like a brat. My FI have always been okay with me giving him suggestions as to what I want regardless whether it is for my birthday or other occasions so I did not see the proposal as an exceptio <strong><font color="#ff0000">(there is a difference between suggestions and demands - i told my fi i don't like gold gold and i wanted a three stone ring...he BLEW me away with what he picked out...then again I didn't have a lot of demands/expectations).</font></strong> I just wanted to know what your opinions are in this type of situation. I talked to my friend and she suggested then maybe I can mention it nicely to my FI if it bothers me.  I would say that it is a bit of both. The size and the style of the ring that I am not crazy about Yes I know it is expensive as he had changed the center stone himself to a bigger and better quality of diamond that what was originally on the setting. So yeah I love him and I do know deep inside that he knew it was the ring when he picked it out for me...to Briella here is a pic of my ring.
    Posted by CaylaSummer[/QUOTE]


    i think you should read other posts on this board further down...

    you should be happy with what you got - you can always upgrade at anniversaries....
    image image

    Sept 2011 Siggy Challenge: Favorite Ceremony Photo Anniversary

    ~~Planning~~


    ~~FOR SALE~~
  • image image

    Sept 2011 Siggy Challenge: Favorite Ceremony Photo Anniversary

    ~~Planning~~


    ~~FOR SALE~~
  • WTG Jelenny!
    ~Weeds are just flowers without an invitation.~
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards