Just Engaged and Proposals

So happy but already feeling the pressure

I was recently engaged in Hawaii and MOST of my friends couldn't be happier for us and can't wait to help out any way they can, but then I've got my family (who are happy too) already giving us a hard time for not wanted to get married in my home town or in my family church.  We want an outdoor wedding and there is no where nice to do it in Las Vegas, NM.  And my fiancee's ENTIRE family is from out of state so we are planning a wedding closer to the airport to accomodate them and make our wedding beautiful. On the other hand, one of the "best" friends, supposedly, hasn't so much as told us congratulations, yet assumes she's IN the wedding.  How should I handle this?

Re: So happy but already feeling the pressure

  • You have to think "its your day, its your day" for I am feeling pressure by my family also.  My parents are telling me who they want me to invite and who they don't want me to invite.  I just nod and smile and let them know that I am doing my wedding the way it makes me happy.  Do what makes you happy!!! 

    As for your "best" friend what has she done that makes you think she is "in" the wedding?  Have you asked anyone yet?  My only advice on this is to hold off as long as you can when asking people in your wedding.  Releationships change and sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worst.  Ask who you want that will make you happy.  Don't ask people thinking just so they are happy.

    ITS YOUR DAY @---;-------

  • Congratulations on your engagement! I got engaged about a month and a half ago in Hawaii as well. It's beautiful :)

    However, with all of the planning, I would say do what you and your fiance` want. This is your day! It is also nice to accomadate all of your out of town guests. Assuming you just got engaged and are planning a long-ish engagement, you have plenty of time to sit down with him and perhaps both of your close family members to figure out what would be the best choice for everyone.

    In regards to your friend, I'm not sure if you were being sarcastic about her being one of your best friends or not, but if she is, I would let that slide. Don't let it bother you! There is a good chance that she is just excited and ready to start helping you with all the planning. Be happy ou have such a good frend, if that's the case! :)
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  • This is a big day and you should not let anyone stress you out. Talk to your family and especially to your FI about a budget and that you will invite who YOU want. Yes family will always try to pressure but ultimately it is your day and you decide who you want there and not. As to your friend talk to her too. Tell her you dont know who is going to be in the wedding and think about your friendship and her intentions. If she is a real good friend she is probably overexcited like the PP mentiones, if not so much reconsider the friendship and sit down and talk to her H2H

  • Well, congrats on your engagement and welcome to the boards.

    Remember, you will never make everyone happy all the time. The most important thing is that at the end of the day you said I do and so did FI.
    Time, location, food, cake, flowers, those things fade from the memory in time.

    Try to sit down and explain your vision to your parents and try to come up with a compromise. Like, have an outdoor wedding with the pastor from your church.

    To deal with your pushy friend, if she brings it up just calmly explain that you have not decided on the wedding party details, but that you are focusing on enjoying being engaged. If you want her in your wedding party, follow up with something cute, like don't worry, when we get there you will be the first to know! 
    If you don't want her in your wedding party (WP) then just DO NOT talk to her about any details of any part of the wedding.
    You cannot unask someone to be a BM or MOH once you ask them unless they unask themselves, not buying the dress, etc.

    Enjoy being engaged for a little while before you nose dive into planning. :)
    Good luck!

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  • That's awesome, congrats!
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