Need Engagement Party Advice

jwlz131

Hello!!

My fiance and I got engaged over memorial day weekend.  I'm having trouble on deciding where/when even IF we should have the engagement party.

We decided on a two year engagement aiming for a wedding spring 2014.  The main issue is that we live about 3 hours from where we are both originally from and where our parents live.  We have friends from where we currently live, friends from home, and all of our immediate family members and close friends live throughout the country.  Getting everyone together in one place will be extrememly difficult.

When is the best time to have an engagement party??  This summer is already out, as we are both extremely busy with other plans and the fall isn't looking very well either.  Should we try for over the holidays when the most people will be around?  Should we have two? Should we nix the idea all together?

Thanks for your help!!

Julie

peachykeen26

I mean you could do one early or you could do one closer to the wedding, like 1 year out.

At the end of the year you'll be about 1.5 years or so out? I think that would be an okay time to have a party if you wanted to.

Just remember, everyone that gets invited to the engagement party gets invited to the wedding! That is probably why I, personally, would wait until further in and you have a well established guest list. (Which will change probably 6 dozen times over the course of the wedding planning experience.)
Also, engagement parties are by no means absolutely necessary. You can forego it if you wanted to.
JMO.
HTH!

ETA:
Congrats on being engaged and welcome to TK!

HobokensFury

The only advice I'm going to give you is that you should not be throwing your own e party.  If someone else offers then fine but it's rude and gift grabby to host your own.

jwlz131

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_need-engagement-party-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:8f79a5d6-b0f7-4ac6-85d1-84ea49d144baPost:146fc8a3-e0fa-407c-b73d-28287581f6e0">Re: Need Engagement Party Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]The only advice I'm going to give you is that you should not be throwing your own e party.  If someone else offers then fine but it's rude and gift grabby to host your own.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the advice, this wouldn't be to get gifts, I was under the impression it was customary to state please no gifts at the engagement party.

We really want to do it to bring the two families together, get to know each other a litle more and celebrate our engagement with family and close friends.  I think we are going to be opting for a big dinner with family and a few close friends instead of a party.  Seems like the easiest option for our situation

HobokensFury

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_need-engagement-party-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:8f79a5d6-b0f7-4ac6-85d1-84ea49d144baPost:5283836b-4041-472f-ad08-17bb920aa37e">Re: Need Engagement Party Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need Engagement Party Advice : Thanks for the advice, this wouldn't be to get gifts, I was under the impression it was customary to state please no gifts at the engagement party. We really want to do it to bring the two families together, get to know each other a litle more and celebrate our engagement with family and close friends.  I think we are going to be opting for a big dinner with family and a few close friends instead of a party.  Seems like the easiest option for our situation
Posted by jwlz131[/QUOTE]

Etiquette still stands- it's not proper to throw your own e-party.  Host a dinner or get together so the families can meet but do not call it an e-party.

erollis

We didn't have an E party. We had our families get together at Thanksgiving to meet each other and it worked out great. 

You can still host a get together or bbq. Then invite both families to it so they can meet. 

ETA: For clarification a get together or bbq is not an E-party if you are hosting. It is just people getting together.

cwaggoner07

We didn't have an engagement party - but we got engaged right before Christmas, so we ended up seeing all of our family right after, so it seemed silly. Plus once we decided to have a 7 month engagement it seemed double ridiculous.

peachykeen26

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_need-engagement-party-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:8f79a5d6-b0f7-4ac6-85d1-84ea49d144baPost:146fc8a3-e0fa-407c-b73d-28287581f6e0">Re: Need Engagement Party Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]The only advice I'm going to give you is that you should not be throwing your own e party.  If someone else offers then fine but it's rude and gift grabby to host your own.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

Oh yes. This too.

LiLe422

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_need-engagement-party-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:8f79a5d6-b0f7-4ac6-85d1-84ea49d144baPost:5283836b-4041-472f-ad08-17bb920aa37e">Re: Need Engagement Party Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need Engagement Party Advice : Thanks for the advice, this wouldn't be to get gifts, <strong>I was under the impression it was customary to state please no gifts at the engagement party.</strong> We really want to do it to bring the two families together, get to know each other a litle more and celebrate our engagement with family and close friends.  I think we are going to be opting for a big dinner with family and a few close friends instead of a party.  Seems like the easiest option for our situation
Posted by jwlz131[/QUOTE]

There really shouldn't ever be a mention of gifts at all.  Agree with Hoboken and other pp you should not host your own e-party, its in bad taste.

[Deleted User]

Our engagement party is in three weeks. We are kind of in a similar situation as you. My fiancee is originally from Cleveland, OH which is about 5 hours from where we live in Grand Rapids, MI and the rest of my family lives in Detroit which is about 2 1/2 hours away from us. We got engaged in March of 2012 and our Wedding will be in Hawaii of September 2013.

Because our families have never met we felt like we needed to have an engagement party, and we're throwing it ourselves. I know its not what everyone else would do but this way we are in total control of the possibly dramatic situation. My parents are super helpful with the party and purchased the cake and making centerpieces.

It was supposed to be a small get together wtih close family/friends but slowly has turned into quite a production. Luckily its less then 3 weeks away.