I just got engaged 5 days ago and have started planning an engagement party for next month. My mother has a large family (9 brothers and sisters) who are generally very competitive. After learning about my engagement her youngest sisters husband came over to our house and began comparing my fiance (who is a police officer) to his daughter's boyfriend (who is in medical school). He consistently said things to put my fiance down and say that his future son in law is better and higher up in society because he is in medical school. When i found out this made me so angry that he has turned this into a competition. I just want them to be happy for me.
My mother's sister has also been calling on a daily basis to interrogate about what we are doing for the engagement party. Whenever my mother says something that we are doing it's always "oh no thats wrong your doing it wrong you should do it this way." She is also constantly making sly remarks to make my mom angry.
What makes me most angry is that my mom wont stand up for herself and say things back to them to make them shut up because they'll get mad at her. At this point i feel as though my mom is no longer considering my happiness and is focused on saying/doing things to make her brothers and sisters happy. I have told her to not say anything to them about it any more but she keeps saying that if she does that they'll get mad at her. I have reached a point where I am seriously considering a destination wedding to just get away from all of the family drama. No matter what I plan for the engagement party and wedding they'll always have something to say about it. I seriously do not know what to do at this point.