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Just got engaged...but is our engagement going to be too long?

tristaswartztristaswartz
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in Just Engaged and Proposals
My fiance Mike and I both decided to wait at least three years to get married. This is not a decision that came lightly. We have to pay for the whole wedding ourselves, and we are most definitely not rolling around in money :) I am also in the middle of getting a degree in college. Are people going to think we are strange because we're waiting so long? I've already been asked when the date is by a co-worker three times. And she keeps asking if I've started planning anything yet. It's just a little irritating to have to explain things to her over and over again....
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Re: Just got engaged...but is our engagement going to be too long?

  • button6004button6004 member
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    Congratulations on your engagement!

    My FI and I are having a two year engagement in order to save for our wedding. Since you are in college, it makes a lot more sense for you to wait.  

    Try changing the subject with your co-worker or say something along the lines of  "Right now we are enjoying being engaged."

    Best of luck!

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    Congrats on your engagement!

    It's nobody's business how long you wait to get married. I had a long engagement not because of money issues but because I was overwhelmed at the process of planning a wedding. We had initially wanted to elope, but my dad was heartbroken at the prospect of that, so we agreed to a small wedding with friends and family. But I had no idea what I wanted for this wedding, no idea how to go about planning it, etc, and I waited a whole year after getting engaged to even begin planning b/c I just wasn't ready to deal with it. When people ask, tell them you are just enjoying being engaged for now. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Darbie914Darbie914 member
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    Congratulations on your engagement!  

    Personally, I think it is very mature and responsible of you and your FI to be realistic of your finances and waiting until you can afford to get married.  So many people don't do this and are met with piles of unrelenting debt or may cause them to commit wedding faux pas (sp) to cut down wedding costs.

    It really is no one's business about the length of your engagement or any details of your wedding.  You can be engaged for as long as you want or need to!  DH and I were engaged for almost 3 years and didn't even pick a date until a year after being engaged (I was also in school and didn't have the extra time or $$).

    If this woman keeps inquiring, just tell her that you and FI are enjoying your engagement and plans will be made when it suits you both.  Then change the subject. Hopefully, she'll get the hint.
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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
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    It sounds like you are happy with waiting, and you are happy with the plan. That's all that matters. Like PP said, just let them know that you are happy to be enjoying your engagement right now.
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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
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    Ditto PP's. And you SHOULD enjoy your engagement and call him your Fiance as much as you can!
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  • SCD1126SCD1126
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    Congratulations on your engagement. This is the just the beginning of decisions the two of you will have to make together, and that other people may question or not like.  Do what works for you as a couple - ALWAYS.
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  • Psych819Psych819 member
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    As long as you and your FI are fine with a long engagement then no one else's opinion matters. I am in a similar situation as you. I am in grad school finishing up my masters. It made sense for us to have a long engagement because like you we are paying for the wedding by ourselves.
    I think you are doing what is best for you.I wish you happy planning and a long, healthy, and loving marriage. Congrats !
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  • AngiewyAngiewy member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    You're fine.  My boyfriend and I are getting engaged within the next six months, and we are having our wedding in summer/fall 2014 because 1) my brother is headed overseas this coming spring w/the military and won't be back for a year, 2)I'm starting my degree in a week, and 3) my cousin just got engaged.  We don't want ours and his wedding in the same month!

    Good luck with coworkers.  They're peaches....
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  • erikagilbreatherikagilbreath member
    First Comment
    I too am newly engaged (14 days ago) and we too are waiting a while.  We are paying for it all on our own and decided that we want a nice big wedding, so waiting 2 years is our plan :)  2 years may seem like a long time, but I'm sure the time will fly.....I hope :)
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  • colexcolex member
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    I feel you. I am having a 2 1/2 year engagement so we can save, FI can finish school, and I can get tenure (i'm a teacher) 
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  • colexcolex member
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    edited January 2013
    I feel you. I am having a 2 1/2 year engagement so we can save, FI can finish school, and I can get tenure (i'm a teacher) 
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