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Just Engaged and Proposals

Ring shopping - should you just know?

Hi all,

New knottie here!  I'm in my mid-40s, first time engaged.

My super awesome fiance and I are starting to ring shop.  He wants me to pick the ring out so he gets something I like.  

Since he's not a good shopper in general, I'm trying to go to some places on my own and find some rings I like, and then we'll hopefully go back together and look at them.  Hopefully then he won't be overwhelmed or bored with the shopping!

Problem is, I'm not finding a ring that jumps out and says, "pick me!"  There are a lot of lovely rings, and I do like quite a number of them.  At a typical jewelry store, I'm finding 4-6 possibilities, all of which I like.  Those possibilities are in quite a few different styles, so its not like there's even a good hint at what I really want!

I haven't been a big jewelry wearer in general, which might be part of the problem.  I developed an allergy to some metal (probably nickel) in high school, and stopped wearing all jewelry for over 20 years.  I couldn't even wear glasses with metal frames!   I do think my allergy has gotten a little better in the last few years, or they are using less nickel in stuff (I have a few necklaces that I can wear now) but I still have to coat the button on my jeans with nail polish or I get a rash on my tummy!  I believe I won't have a problem with 14 or 18 kt gold, as long as the alloy doesn't have nickel in it, although I might go with platinum just to be sure.

Anyway, I think my past experience with not wearing jewelry has meant that I haven't really developed any particular style for myself, or looked at much jewelry.

So I'm seeing all these rings and they're pretty and I like them, but I can't seem to narrow things down that much.  It's a bit frustrating not knowing what I'm looking for when I'm visiting the shops.

Should you just know the ring when you see it?  Or is it a case of just picking one out of the lot at random?  I can't see how I wouldn't be happy with any of them, but would it bug me that none of them are standouts for me?  It is slightly stressful to shop without a good idea of what I like or want. 

Part of me wishes he'd picked it out himself and gone with the surprise thing! 

Re: Ring shopping - should you just know?

  • If you have a nickel allergy you should know some gold is mixed with nickel.

    What type of ring do you want? Color stone, or diamond? Solitaire, multi stone? New heirloom?

    How important is how the ring was sourced to you?

    What is your budget? Your timeframe?

    These are all things to consider when ring shopping.

    DIStickers.com Ticker
  • In Response to Re: Ring shopping - should you just know?:
    [QUOTE]If you have a nickel allergy you should know some gold is mixed with nickel. What type of ring do you want? Color stone, or diamond? Solitaire, multi stone? New heirloom? How important is how the ring was sourced to you? What is your budget? Your timeframe? These are all things to consider when ring shopping.
    Posted by dewingedpixie[/QUOTE]
    Everywhere I've looked (except for one place) has said their gold alloys no longer use nickel at all.  Also, the rhodium used on white gold should also prevent nickel from touching me if it is there.  But it is a concern.  I'd do platinum to be certain, except it always is about $1000 more, and so if there's a good chance the gold won't be a problem I'd prefer to go with that.  (Most places specified that a skin reaction would be covered under warranty so hopefully could upgrade if needed)
    I do want diamond/s.  I am tending to gravitate toward the ones with a bit of bling in the setting.
    Budget is a bit unsure.  I'm thinking somewhere between $3000 and $7000 would be my comfort zone, although DF would probably be OK with something more expensive.  
  • If you're not in a rush (turn around is 9 weeks right now I think) I reccomend checking out www.krikawa.com. My ring came from there and the customer service is personable and cant be beat. They'll ship the stones with deposit for you to inspect. They can custom make pretty much anything :).
    DIStickers.com Ticker
  • My boyfriend and I have gone shopping twice now. The one that I had originally picked as my second choice is now my first. I looked at a lot of rings and narrowed it down to three and finally to one. I had to sleep on it though.
    What also helped me is imagining a wedding band on the other side. Are you picky about the rings being as close together as possible? Then eliminate rings with bulky detailing on the side. Try to picture how you want the band to look as well as your personal style. For my situation, there was something about a solitaire that screamed "engagement ring", but I still wanted some sparkle. So I chose one that is plain on the sides and has small peek-a-boo diamonds underneath the center stone.
    I'd figure out what diamond shape you like best and match it to some settings.
    But to answer your question, no you don't just know when you see the setting. You have to see it on your hand, with your correct diamond shape and imagine it with the band to get a full idea of how it looks and how it fits your style in order to really appreciate it.
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  • cmkkcmkk member
    10 Comments
    I'm not a big everyday jewelry wearer and traditional engagement rings just felt too formal for me.  I ended up looking around online for alternative jewelers and ended up falling in love with an independent jewelry designer.  We just met her and bought a stone, and she'll start making the ring next week.  Maybe look around etsy and see if anything there speaks to you?
  • JaniV123JaniV123 member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2012
    as stupid as it sounds, for me trying them on i  found the one.

    we havent bought it yet as just when we were going to some family problems arose and we have to put it off for a while longer

    but when i put the set on i just knew. i didnt want to see any more rings and i just smiled like a dummy. 

    i felt like a moron just daydreaming about a ring but thats how it happened to me. 


  • My fiance got my ring from erstwhile.com (they have a physical store in NYC that he went to). They have beautiful vintage rings and most are platinum. 
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  • We shopped local which helped us to get a better, quality ring for our budget.  This also allowed us to get educated about diamonds which was big for us.  We wanted to understand what we were buying!

    This is from the jewelry store we shopped at but has general educational information about diamonds.  HTH http://www.diamondcellar.com/index.jsp?content=article&menu=16&section=427

    The second thing I did was decide what style I wanted, including diamond shape.  I chose the classic round solitaire but it "spoke" to me.  Shop around, don't settle, and if it's in your time frame and budget, customize a piece.

    As a PP said, think about what kind of WB you want with it.  One important factor to me was being able to have a WB fit snug with my e-ring but be a straight band without any curves/bends in it.  For others, they plan on always wearing their e-ring with WB, but I wanted to option to only wear my WB sometimes.  We're only 3 weeks into marriage and I have had several days where I just wear the WB so it was a smart decision for me.  Think about your lifestyle and your activity level.

    Good luck!
    Where there is love, there is life.-Ghandi
  • I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted at first either (we picked the ring together) and I also rarely wear jewelry. I picked a general style based on my style for clothes etc (simple, pretty, classic, in no way gaudy) and from there found some rings that looked pretty in that style. I finally picked the ring by trying it on... It looked like it belonged on my hand and even though I tried a few others after that to be sure, I knew that that was my ring.
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