anyone else a tad overwhelmed?

dkgilly

I'm a tad overwhelmed with where to start with planning.  Before I got engaged, I enjoyed reading wedding blogs and such, but now I feel like there are too many ideas out there and I can't wrap my head around it. 

Any advice?

ogrady88

Focus on one thing at a time for now, create a checklist or use the knot's.  Once you see the checklist organized you can start to narrow you focus down to the items that need to be accomplished each month.  Continue to do NWR stuff as well, watch your favorite tv shows, go out to movies, etc.  I found that I really enjoy those breaks in thinking about all things wedding.

lauralazer

YES!!  Totally overwhelmed!  Fortunately our date is still a little over a year and a half out, so I'm just focusing on finding a venue we can afford.  Which is proving difficult in my area. 

And of course, when I try NOT thinking about wedding stuff, my mom or his mom call and want to talk about it. 

dkgilly

Thanks for the advice, ogrady88!

@lauralazer My Mom keeps sending me ideas and I know she's just excited, but it's a little overwhelming!  GL with finding a venue!

Jelenny

I was ready to pass out when we went to look at venues...all the costs, options, fees, etc....and of course the price tag...

you need to breathe, i used TK's checklist to pick little by little...yeah looking at the WHOLE thing leaves me overwhelmed, but when you look at what you have done, and one or two tasks "up to bat" it's not bad and doesn't seem so daunting...

for example you look at:
i need venue, church, cake, dj, dress, bm dresses, ring, flowers, colors, date, invites, favors, food, drinks, gifts, make up, hair, shoes, accessories, decorations, venue, etc, etc it can make you panic...

first things first you need
date, venue and/or church - big hurdles then go from there...bit by bit

future-mrs

Just breathe for one.  And remember you have time.  Wedding planning does get overwhelming very easily but just take one step at a time and everything will fall into place.

tpender13

I would say to start by getting a decent estimate of how many people you'll want to invite, and a rough budget estimate. FI and I have been engaged for a little over a month and are aiming for this November for the wedding. It helped to figure out the guest list b/c very quickly we realized that it was going to be immediate family and a couple of our best friends, or it was going to end up closer to 300 people that we couldn't afford to feed.

Other than that, we've just been doing things little bits at a time. It is overwhelming when you look at all the details of every little thing that has to be done, but if you break it into chunks and go little by little it's not so bad.

[Deleted User]

I'm definitely feeling overwhelmed. I shouldn't because I'm getting married Nov. 2011, but I'm just so excited. I've already picked out my bridal party, my venue, and my colors/aesthetic. Although...the venue may change. But now I feel like diving into everything at once! I want to look at dresses and have my bridesmaids look at dresses and pick out flowers and talk to photographers and try to find bakery connections...

I need to chill.

[Deleted User]

I guess that wasn't any help though, huh?

I use the knot to keep up with what I need to be doing now. It does a good job of keeping up with month-to-month plans and what you need to be doing. Your wedding is just as far away as mine. What we should be doing now is just relaxing for a minute, taking a deep breath and setting a budget. I had a chat with my parents last night about my wedding package that my venue offers. They told me what they think is too much and what we need to try to negotiate. Also, I'm talking to my other friends/co-workers that are engaged to see what they're doing (or recently married, to see what they've done and what doesn't really matter to worry about). What kind of deals they're getting...prices, etc. so I can know if I'm getting a good deal or not.

My coordinator told me to start looking at magazines, watching tv shows, surfing the net...to find ideas of colors you like, budget-friendly centerpieces for your reception....etc etc etc.

Hope that helps!

geekyhostess

I was super overwhelmed the first couple of weeks.. My FI and I are both the oldest (and first to get married) out of the kids, and our parents both had fairly small weddings. Everyone is very excited, and even my dad was checking up on me, asking about wedding stuff daily for the first week or so! 

I've been trying to take it one step at a time. I first figured out my bridal party, so I would have people to help me if and when I felt overwhelmed. We just picked out our venue, which was a HUGE relief, I never thought I would find one that fit our budget/specs! 

I'm lucky to have a mom, FMIL, FSIL, and tons of friends who are super into wedding talk, so if I'm overwhelmed, I tell them what I'm looking for and let them make suggestions while I take a break! I make sure to have time with my FI that isn't wedding related, and try actively not to talk about it anywhere except to the FI, wedding party, or on The Knot. That helps keep my sanity a bit!

Good luck, it'll get better as soon as you start checking stuff off the to-do list!

ambercushing

I have been engaged for a month and felt the same way. A friend of mine recommended a book called "the Conscious Bride" - which I just bought. I am only about a chapter in, but apparently the entire book is about how overwhelming this process is and how we, as brides, are expected to smile and have the time of our lives... but that's no longer reality. Like I said, not very far along in the book yet, but so far, it has helped to know that I am not alone in being super overwhelmed with this whole planning thing.


Good luck!

EJH4EVER

I am kind of freaking out I just got engaged on the fourth of July, to a man I have absolutely no doubt about, and yet even ring shopping made me want to curl up in a ball and die. I have no idea what colors to use, no idea what kind of dress I want, and I just started a new career (passed the February bar exam and started my first lawyer job in April). My sister, the maid of honor, JUST started her residency year in med school, so she looks like she wants to jump off a bridge most times. So I'm professionally overwhelmed, my fiance wants to spend more time together now (and frankly he's the only one who chills me out) and I have NO idea what I want in a wedding; I really didn't think about it in advance! 

I thought planning a May wedding would give us plenty of time without allowing things to drag on too endlessly, but now I'm panicking about venues--I have no idea where we should have it! 

Fortunately, we booked the Church and got our date; we ran it by both sets of parents; somehow, however, that made both moms feel left out... 

...and tonight I realized that my mother is probably going to want to have final artistic control over anything she's involved in, and the corseted dress I looked at as referred to as a "bordello" dress...

Anyway, I'm glad these forums exist. And I wish someone else would plan this thing--but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like it  I'm sure I'll regain sanity soon!

inloveinbk

Hi-  I am totally in the same boat!  I am just glad that my fiance is so even keeled.  I keep freaking out because we are starting from scratch, planning to pay for most of our wedding ourselves.  We are looking to do it in April in Brooklyn, where we live.  So, without a lot of time, or a lot of money, I'm feeling freaked out!

But!  Right now we are focusing on narrowing our guest list, and choosing the venue.  Even that is really overwhelming to me, but my FI is great about emailing vendors, and doing research.  So!  Now we need to visit and decide!
Phew!  Back to work!

Thanks for all the great advice!