newly re-engaged?

ivedonethisb4

We originally got engaged Nov 22, 2008, which was a little over a month after the death of my father. After a while I decided that I wasn't sure if I had accepted the proposal out of feeling lost without the one man in my life that I knew I could count on forever for anything or because I was ready for marriage. I mean I was confused on whether I accepted so I'd know I'd have someone there for me. I knew I loved him, but I decided to give the ring back anyway because I didn't want to accept for the wrong reasons. I told him to keep it until he's ready and ask again. We've been living together for about a year maybe a little more. Which I had said I wouldn't do until we were married but...after 6 years..it felt like we were anyway. So, for Christmas he made the decision that he was ready to go forward with everything again and I have my ring once again. I've been ready to have it back, but I put the decision in his hands so its not like I could just ask for it back.☺ I just needed to work through my brain and I didn't want the ring while I did it. I'm very excited but I spent the $6000 dollars I had set aside for the wedding on my car, trying to pay it down so I was closer to being done with it. So now I don't know where the budget is coming from. I had picked out a dress that I fell in love with before. I plan to go and see it again. Most likely order it. We know we're getting married in my family church, but haven't set a date. I can't set a date until I know where the money to make it happen is coming from. ☺

Congratulations to everyone who got engaged over the holidays and we'll see there will be even more to come for New Years.

Krystle

ivedonethisb4

Oh and the hardest time over this past year was October..because our original date was scheduled for October 8, 2011. To have that come and go and be like any other day was..well painful.

Kokes28

I actually had a very similar situation. My mother passed away in August of 08, though I didn't get engaged until July of 2010, I still struggled with it. I was very excited, but was still down in the slumps. Hadn't worked through the loss of my mother and just wasn't in a good place. We were "un-engaged" for about two months (Dec. 2010-Feb 2010). Since then, I went to counseling, etc. etc. and now everything is wonderful! I knew I wanted to marry him before, just had too much other stuff clouding my life. Now I know it's the perfect time because before I didn't even want to plan or think about budgeting and dates and blah blah and now I'm non-stop planning and could not be more excited! 

My advice to you is to figure out your budget, if it has to be a date further in the future (like 2013) then so be it. Though I can understand why you'd want to do it sooner as you've waited long enough already. Are either of your families helping with costs? Both my father and his parents are splitting the cost of our wedding which will be about $10,000 (this includes the honeymoon).. then me and FI have been saving up for any extras. Doing it in a church is nice and usually saves some expense as not much decorating is needed and if you're a member of the church price-wise is saves money. Our most costly thing is the meal $70/plate for about 80 guests. But at the venue we wanted we didn't have much choice. Think about the things that are most important to you and figure out what can be excluded to keep costs down! 

Just a heads up, as the planning commences, memories of your father will be stirred up and may be tough. It's bittersweet but I wish more than anythign my mother was going to be there. Have you figured out any special ways youre going to honor him or have his memory at the wedding?

mandi921vh

Congratulations on your re-engagement! I agree with PP, first decide on your budget and plan from there.

ivedonethisb4

My mom suggested that we marry on February 3...as in like 2 months. That was their anniversary. I asked my mom if she would help just with the dress (I mean if she wants me to get married that soon) and she said no. In the end she may chip in here or there but it isn't likely. She doesn't have a lot extra financially. On the other hand his Mom had started an account to save money to help us with the wedding or house or something because she'd put his sister through college with no job and she felt like she should help him someway because he'd put himself through school without any help from them. I was thinking that we could do what we want for about $2000. Getting married in the church saves a whole bunch, since I am a member. I just want something small and intimate. Family, few friends. Finger foods..or like bbq something easy. The things that I worry most about the cost are the dress, the food, and I really want quality photos. So I will definately have to find a good cheap photographer in my area. The one I wanted when we were engaged before charges like $1200 but her photos are amazing. (I love photography myself so I'm very picky about it and I just fell in love with her style) but she's no longer an option so..We'll find someone else. The dress I want was a little over $500 when I found in in 2009. I don't know if that store will still have it in stock or even be able to order it...but it was the ONE. I got that feeling that you get. It was the first one I ever tried on and afterwards I went comparing but nothing stood up against it. I'm currently out of work due to surgery. So after I'm back and feeling better I plan to make an appointment at that store to go see..and hopefully try it on again. Maybe put down a down payment..

ivedonethisb4

Yes it would be sweet, but there just isn't enough time between now and then for me to get a dress unless I buy an off the rack sample (and it would probably need lots of alterations because im small up top and large on bottom) and do all that needs to be done. I told him he gets to pick the date. He's a wildland firefighter and I don't know when the fires are more probable so it'd be better for him to choose around fire season.

ktwed1

Wow! I was just re-engaged on Christmas as well. We were supposed to get married in 2009 and at the time decided that wasn't the best time. My boyfriend surprised me on Christmas with my original ring and like you we have no budget and have not set a date until we figure it out. I do have my dress from the previous engagement. My problem is I have no desire to even begin planning a wedding again. We were originally going to do a destination beach wedding and I feel at this point it would be too difficult and costly as between the 2 of use we have 4 daughters. Would cost too much to travel. We both have been married but I never had a wedding, I eloped the 1st time. I would like a small wedding this time. Just the thought of planning on a next to nothing budget is stressing me already.

ivedonethisb4

Oh wow yes I can imagine the stress. We set a budget of $2000. Having something beautiful and not costly isn't hard you just need to sit down and decide what's most important! Is it the dress, or photography, or people...whatever it is that will make your day right! And concentrate on those things first...and then whatever you can do after or beyond that is just extra to enjoy! Good luck planning and congrats! Again! Oh and check out the budget brides boars there are plenty who hav great cost saving tips!