Just Engaged and Proposals

Engagement ring woes

Hey there fellow knotties,
I am me to this forum but I could use some advice here.
My fiancé just proposed to me on valentines day. It wasn't romantic, but it was absolutely perfect.
Anyways, I am 23 and he is 24. We have a very good relationship, and are head over heels in love with each other and know it is just right.
Our wedding is set for 02/14/2015 exactly two years from the engagement on a beautiful beach in cancun.
He proposed to me with a beautiful ring, absolutely perfect, however I am starting to feel insecure about it
I get comments about it being huge all the time. It's so sparkly it's so big it's beautiful and then i got the oh... It's so cute comment. Twice.
Its not a small ring by any means not to me anyways. For our age I Think he did a VERY good job picking it out.
It is a 14k, white gold engagement ring with a 0.75 carat center stone, and including the shoulder stones (which are called a staircase setting I believe) it is a 1.25 ctw ring. Sparkly as heck. (My ring size is a 6) so i don't have the smallest. Of hands but I am a very petit lady.
To me the ring is perfectly proportioned. However, I feel that my fiancé and I should be the only two enjoying my engagement ring. I have gotten very uncomfortable with people making comments about its size, be it big or small to them, and constantly telling me how lucky we are to have each other.
People are just making me angry by constantly asking me the story, and to show it off, and this that and the other thing and comparing it to their own.
I am not the center of attention kind of person.
And have caught myself multiple times covering my hand with my sleeve so nobody can see it. I even stated ignoring people and changing the subject when they ask me to see it.
Can someone tell me if this is normal, or if I am just being selfish or silly?
Thames guys, I know it is a long story. But I would like to know what is going on. :/

Re: Engagement ring woes

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    It probably just seems awkward and makes you uncomfortable because it is new and all the focus is on you (and the ring). Once you get used to it, you should be fine. Why are people making you angry asking for your engagement story? Engagement stories are fun! Congrats and happy planning!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Vintagelove4Vintagelove4 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2013
    It sounds normal. If your not a center of attention kind of person then a lot of attention can annoy you. Give everyone some time to calm down about it. :)
    As for me, FI and I waited a day to tell anyone outside of our immediate families. We even waited a hour to tell them! It was nice just to enjoy some us time and revel in our new engagement. Maybe you two can take a weekend away from everyone?

    Edit: spelling
    imageDaisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Eh, everyone has awkward situations where someone makes a few too many comments about the ring.  Unfortunately, something so sparkly isn't only visible to you and your FI! :)

    Don't worry about it, people are just trying to be excited for you.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I understand. I got sick of telling the "how did he propose???" story really quickly. Good news is, after a few months, everyone knows your engaged and sort of backs off (we've been engaged just over a year, and I've been asked to tell the proposal story maybe once in the past six months, and that's because someone at my bridal shower hadn't heard it). I promise, this too shall pass.
    photo a826c490-726a-4824-af5c-d938878de228_zpseb85bb5a.jpg
  • Thanks everyone. @AddieL73 it's not that it makes me so angry, it's just annoying to have to repeAt myself time after time again I guess :/ Being a sales person , my coworkers will interrupt me halfway through a sale to congratulate me or to ask for the story or point it out which not only is it embarrassing, but also quite frustrating and bad work etiquette. When we got engaged , we spent two days away together. Went and got a hotel, and for valentines day (the day he proposed) went for a couples massAge, glow mini golfing, frozen yogurt date, dinner and a movie.m We waited almost two days to tell people, including immediate family so that we could enjoy it together first :) But thanks so much everyone. I do feel a bit better, and don't feel As selfish :)
  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    It will stop very soon.

    Well, it will stop until they start asking you constant wedding questions.

  • I got engaged 3 days before Christmas and everyone pretty much got over it by the middle of January.

    The day after I got engaged (before we told anyone besides immediate family) I went with my parents over to my aunt's house and I just assumed someone would notice the ring and ask about it, but no one did so I had to make a really awkward announcement. Also, my boss never noticed so I eventually told him almost a month after it happened. I guess I fail at showing my ring off haha
    image
  • my ring is not a solatiare setting because i didnt want it to be engagementy its actually a bunch of small stones that look like they make up three stones and is also very sparkly and catches the light often to send little beams everywhere, i was uncomfortable at first because it was so bright and stuff but you get used to it after while
  • P.S can you post a picture?? your ring sounds beautiful and i would love to see it
  • First of all congrats!!

    About the ring, don't think too much about it. Mine is .93 carats with some black diamonds underneath (no one can really see them unless I point them out) and I've had anything from "Awww cute" to "Damn that's big". Everyone's point of view will be different. Whether or not YOU are happy with the ring is the main thing. After a couple of months, people don't talk about it much anymore. Maybe you'll get asked about the date, but it does wear off quickly. Don't stress about other people, enjoy your engagement!!
    <a href="http://daisypath.com/"><img src="http://davf.daisypath.com/rd8tm4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Daisypath Anniversary tickers" /></a>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_engagement-ring-woes-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:aac2abcc-1102-4e3c-9a18-d78acc1b54b9Post:08466e01-a991-47b4-b984-8d9b42e1030a">Re: Engagement ring woes</a>:
    [QUOTE]P.S can you post a picture?? your ring sounds beautiful and i would love to see it
    Posted by embreen[/QUOTE]



    How do I post a picture?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_engagement-ring-woes-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:aac2abcc-1102-4e3c-9a18-d78acc1b54b9Post:216d8bc4-b69a-453c-8a67-cd5eba173245">Engagement ring woes</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey there fellow knotties, I am me to this forum but I could use some advice here. My fiancé just proposed to me on valentines day. It wasn't romantic, but it was absolutely perfect. Anyways, I am 23 and he is 24. We have a very good relationship, and are head over heels in love with each other and know it is just right. Our wedding is set for 02/14/2015 exactly two years from the engagement on a beautiful beach in cancun. He proposed to me with a beautiful ring, absolutely perfect, however I am starting to feel insecure about it I get comments about it being huge all the time. It's so sparkly it's so big it's beautiful and then i got the oh... It's so cute comment. Twice. Its not a small ring by any means not to me anyways. For our age I Think he did a VERY good job picking it out. It is a 14k, white gold engagement ring with a 0.75 carat center stone, and including the shoulder stones (which are called a staircase setting I believe) it is a 1.25 ctw ring. Sparkly as heck. (My ring size is a 6) so i don't have the smallest. Of hands but I am a very petit lady. To me the ring is perfectly proportioned. <strong>However, I feel that my fiancé and I should be the only two enjoying my engagement ring.</strong> I have gotten very uncomfortable with people making comments about its size, be it big or small to them, and constantly telling me how lucky we are to have each other. People are just making me angry by constantly asking me the story, and to show it off, and this that and the other thing and comparing it to their own. I am not the center of attention kind of person. And have caught myself multiple times covering my hand with my sleeve so nobody can see it. I even stated ignoring people and changing the subject when they ask me to see it. Can someone tell me if this is normal, or if I am just being selfish or silly? Thames guys, I know it is a long story. But I would like to know what is going on. :/
    Posted by MrsRoque2BE[/QUOTE]
     
    Really?  Then why were you ever wearing it outside of the house?  I think you are pissed that people called it "cute" when you think they should be grabbing for smelling salts a the very sight of it.

    I still get compliments on a weekly basis about my ring.  I have never gotten upset that someone has said "pretty" instead of "stunning" and I have never said anything other than "thank you."  If you can't handle this then take Stage's advice and leave it at home.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
    ronaldmickens
  • winelover123winelover123 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_engagement-ring-woes-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:aac2abcc-1102-4e3c-9a18-d78acc1b54b9Post:216d8bc4-b69a-453c-8a67-cd5eba173245">Engagement ring woes</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey there fellow knotties, I am me to this forum but I could use some advice here. My fiancé just proposed to me on valentines day. It wasn't romantic, but it was absolutely perfect. Anyways, I am 23 and he is 24. We have a very good relationship, and are head over heels in love with each other and know it is just right. Our wedding is set for 02/14/2015 exactly two years from the engagement on a beautiful beach in cancun. He proposed to me with a beautiful ring, absolutely perfect, however I am starting to feel insecure about it I get comments about it being huge all the time. It's so sparkly it's so big it's beautiful and then i got the oh... It's so cute comment. Twice. Its not a small ring by any means not to me anyways. For our age I Think he did a VERY good job picking it out. It is a 14k, white gold engagement ring with a 0.75 carat center stone, and including the shoulder stones (which are called a staircase setting I believe) it is a 1.25 ctw ring. Sparkly as heck. (My ring size is a 6) so i don't have the smallest. Of hands but I am a very petit lady. To me the ring is perfectly proportioned.<strong> However, I feel that my fiancé and I should be the only two enjoying my engagement ring. I have gotten very uncomfortable with people making comments about its size, be it big or small to them, and constantly telling me how lucky we are to have each other.</strong> People are just making me angry by constantly asking me the story, and to show it off, and this that and the other thing and comparing it to their own. I am not the center of attention kind of person. And have caught myself multiple times covering my hand with my sleeve so nobody can see it. I even stated ignoring people and changing the subject when they ask me to see it. <strong>Can someone tell me if this is normal, or if I am just being selfish or silly?</strong> Thames guys, I know it is a long story. But I would like to know what is going on. :/
    Posted by MrsRoque2BE[/QUOTE]

    To the first bolded sentence, what does this even mean? Are they trying to take it from you or something? I wear my ring everyday yet I feel that FI and I are still the only ones enjoying it since it <em>ours</em> and not theirs. And to be honest, I'm really the  one out of me and FI who enjoys my ring.....since its on my finger all the time. Like PPs said, if you don't want other people to see it then don't wear it out of the house. I get comments on how big my ring is. I get comments that it's not a diamond. You just smile and when you recieve a compliment, say thank you. Last thing: you don't feel flattered? They're basically telling you that you and FI compliment each other. Many people are still looking for their SO - when people tell you that you're lucky to have each other, that tends to be a compliment.

    People will stop asking for the story and to see the ring soon - after the newness wears off. You're being silly.

    Congrats and enjoy being engaged!
  • If it makes you uncomfortable to wear it in public, then don't. Just wear it and enjoy it at home and your problem will be solved.


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  • The ring is very pretty.  Honestly, I do think it is weird that you are upset that people are looking at it.  The only time I felt that way was when, at 23, I was engaged to a guy who was not the right guy for me.  I broke it off two months before our wedding date.

    Not saying that's going to you, just saying it does seem weird. 

    Are you the first of your friends to get married?  You guys are young, so maybe that is part of the weirdness fo you. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Yes we are the first of our friends to get married. Maybe I'm just not used to the attention and people grabbing at my hands? And no I'm not pissed about my friend calling it cute. It honestly has nothing to do with it, but thanks for the hars assumption anyways. I think it's an adjustment.... Something different I suppose.
  • A Ring is superficial. If you really love the guy it shouldnt matter what others think about your ring. If the ring really becomes an issue for you  wait a year and have a jeweler rebuild it something that makes you happy.
  • No worries, I promise it will all fade away. It took me a month or more to get used to wearing the ring, and I coudn't stop staring at it. I was afraid I'd get robbed on the subway bc i was drawing so much attention to it!
    After every last person has oogled it and heard the story, they'll move on to the next newly-engaged person. enjoy this time and congrats!! it does sound like he did an awesome job on the ring selection
  • Thanks guys. I love him to pieces and love my ring. Although its not huge it gets TONS of attention. I guess I should maybe take it as a compliment and go with it ;)
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