Hi all, newly engaged (7 weeks), a bit overwhelmed

suekim77

Hi everyone, I'm Sue, glad I have a place to share my obsession! My fiance proposed on New Year's Day only hours after the ball dropped, while we were laying in front of a fireplace

My biggest issue right now is being overwhelmed. Have you seen the checklist??? I've never been a very good project coordinator (pretty crappy one actually) so the idea of putting a wedding together scares the bejesus out of me! So many details....add to that the fact that I'm a tomboy, and the whole flowers-and colors-and-centerpieces thing goes way over my head. It's like my brain locks up every time I read something else about wedding preparation. I guess I have to take some good advice I once heard: how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

salt78

Hi Sue. Congrats on your engagement.

Centerpieces and flowers were beyond me also, which is why I decided to do a destination wedding and have a resort coordinator take care of all the hard stuff for me.

Do you guys have a date and a budget yet? 

I <3 Seabass

Congrats! I found the knot checklist way too detailed. And a lot of the stuff I didn't even need/want to do. So I found myself a more basic checklist similar to this one.
http://www.soulfulengagements.com/1/post/2009/11/your-checklist.html

Also, I wasn't super into flowers either which I found to actually worked out to be much easier in the long run compared to some of my other friends who were very picky about what types of flowers they wanted. Since I didn't care or couldn't tell the difference between the types of flowers. I handed my florist a picture of a bouquet I liked and said make something like this in these colors and in this price range and I'll be happy. Super easy because I didn't have to worry about my dream flower not being in season or being too expensive etc.

So as long as you can put some basic parameters around what it is you like/want you can really let your vendors help you when it comes to the things that you're less enthused about.

EStar73

First, get rid of everything on that check list that you don't need. We are getting married indoors so the outdoor rentals thing I got rid of and we're not using a calligrapher so that went away too.

Second, just take time to look through magazines. Dogear or rip out anything you like. Soon you should find patterns emerging such as you always gravitate towards the low centerpieces or the round cakes. That will get rid of a bunch of the "begin envisioning" items and make everything else a lot easier.

Third, delegate! If you're not going to hire a wedding coordinator then see who is willing to help. My sister is my MOH and is in charge of finding the BM dresses, my mother helped me find the vendor and photographer, my father loves music so is helping with that. Just make sure that whoever you ask are people you can trust and discuss your vision with them.

Good luck and Congratulations!!

megk8oz

Oh, that checklist. When I first got engaged, I was convinced it contained gospel truth and that I had to do every single thing on it. Just like that little "budgeter" thing? I totally believed if I didn't have everything on that list, I was going to "fail" at throwing a wedding.

Cut to almost a year after I got engaged, and I realized that the budgeter is a lie, and that the checklist is chock full of bs. Yes, you do need to do things like "ask your WP" and "book your venue", but a lot of it can really just be chucked. Especially the common sense steps (Notice that after you start scouting venues, and begin to plan your engagement party that it says you need to tell the family you're engaged: WHAT?!?!?!).

Wedding planning is only as hard as the couple chooses to make. There's a lot of silly little details that can easily be skipped and nobody will miss. I'm not saying be totally "hands off" about it, but just think of what your actual priorities are, and make sure those are the things that get taken care of.

Your guests will hardly notice sub-par center pieces, but they will notice if you serve lousy food.

megk8oz

OP, I sent you a PM.

mica178

I felt/feel the same way (got engaged the same week as you, started freaking out 2 days later).

Have you checked out the weddingwire checklist?  I found it easier to follow than the one on theknot.  What the PP said about getting rid of the things that don't apply to you is crucial.  If your reception site comes with catering, you can ignore the "find a caterer" task.

Another thing is the hardest stuff happens in the first couple months and the last few weeks.  Once you have reception and ceremony sites, things do fall into place.

The best thing I did was have a MOH who got married a couple years ago.  She's super organized and gives me tons of useful, practical advice.  She also calms me down when I get overwhelmed about things that I don't need to worry about for another month or so.

Vintagelove4

Congrats on your engagement!
Just breath. Maybe take a small break from wedding planning? Have you thought about maybe hiring a wedding planner? They take a lot of the stress off of you and make sure your big day goes as smoothly as possible.