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Ring Likes/Dislikes?

[Deleted User][Deleted User] member
First Comment
in Just Engaged and Proposals
Ok, so I really was hard on the FI about my ring... I did NOT want to pick it out, and I wanted him to only spend a certain amount of $$. So He got it... proposed... He knew instantly I didn't like it. So he is offering to change the part I don't like without a problem....
I feel UBER guilty. Did anyone else have this happen?
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Re: Ring Likes/Dislikes?

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    redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_ring-likesdislikes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:c163f8dc-d39d-47ef-a710-6c18093eb6caPost:544bdc89-d306-4e3e-bd07-1da21dbdfaa8">Ring Likes/Dislikes?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, so I really was hard on the FI about my ring...<strong> Idid NOT want to pick it out</strong>, and I wanted him to only spend a certain amount of $$. So He got it... proposed... He knew instantly I didn't like it. So he is offering <strong>to change the part I don't like without a problem</strong>.... I feel UBER guilty. Did anyone else have this happen?
    Posted by sugarstar1784[/QUOTE]

    I don't get your logic. You can't pick it out before he popped the question,but now that you have it you will pick it out? It is fine to pick it out if he is ok with it. However, by you saying you didn't want to pick it out, you put him through a very stressful situation to now tell him he did bad and you will fix it. I don't have a problem with people changing their rings. But I think it is very shitty to not help him pick it out and then not keep what he gave you.

    I picked out my ring, because I didn't want to put my guy in the horrible position you put yours into. He put the diamond in a free setting and then later we picked a setting we both liked (was the plan from the beginning).

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    MrsKathyCMrsKathyC
    First Anniversary First Comment
    We picked mine out together.  We have completely different tastes so everything he picked out, I didn't like.  When he was doing his research online, he was going to go with a much larger diamond than what we actually chose.
    Anniversary
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    julib33julib33 member
    First Comment
    My FI had me pick out a ring a little over a year ago. When he proposed it was a completely different ring. I loved the ring but it was in yellow gold, so I had it switched to white. Now, I love it and think it's perfect. It's not what I picked out but it's even better. I felt guilty about it at first but because he KNEW what I wanted beforhand I didn't feel so bad. Plus, it didn't cost anything to change it.
    BUT it's confusing that you didn't want to pick it out (basically saying you're ok with anything) and then wanting something else... I'd say it probably would have been better to be upfront from the get go with what you like and want.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_ring-likesdislikes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:c163f8dc-d39d-47ef-a710-6c18093eb6caPost:b79d83bc-a058-4c41-be6d-90c2e101dcb5">Re: Ring Likes/Dislikes?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just can't get past the fact that "he knew instantly" that you didn't like it.  My mother taught me at a very young age to receive gifts graciously and to never, ever let on if I don't like the gift.  What did you do that made it so clear to him that he had screwed up?
    Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I'm interested in knowing this, too, actually. Did you make a face?</div><div>
    </div><div>I think the wedding industry has REALLY screwed us all up. Everyone should have a ring they love, of course, but...at the end of the day, my FI could have given me a twist-tie.

    </div>
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    JBSMADA10JBSMADA10 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Really? You again? Ladies don't bother, you should of just took your time and dated the guy for more than 2 weeks before getting engaged. He obviously doesn't know what you like because you haven't been a couple for more than 2 weeks. Stop complaining just be happy you are engaged. And get ready cause you are in for a bumpy ride.
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    gabriel0915gabriel0915 newb
    First Comment
    There is no reason you couldn't go with him to pick it out. Also, it's him giving you a gift so he can spend what he wants. The fact that he knew you hated it hurts my heart a little. That means you made a face or comment about the ring. Frankly, I think you need to keep it. I have to agree with Domino, my FI could have given me a claw game ring and I would have been happy with it.
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    mymissingpuzzlepiecemymissingpuzzlepiece
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Sh!t just got crazy...
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    Rovr0929Rovr0929
    First Comment
    edited March 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_ring-likesdislikes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:c163f8dc-d39d-47ef-a710-6c18093eb6caPost:a60b532b-fb8b-4238-9db6-ca7ba67a74f7">Re: Ring Likes/Dislikes?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring Likes/Dislikes? : I'm interested in knowing this, too, actually. Did you make a face? I think the wedding industry has REALLY screwed us all up. Everyone should have a ring they love, of course, but...at the end of the day, my FI could have given me a twist-tie.
    Posted by Domino04[/QUOTE]

    Wow, I agree.  My fiancé picked the ring himself and did the proposal so simply but beautifully, that I loved it.  He asked me when we were just talking about getting engaged what kind of ring I liked and that was it.  He picked something that was completely me, eventhough at first I didn't realize it.  Everyone can do as they please, but I don't think I would have made a face or changed the ring at all.
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    MJandDLMJandDL
    First Comment
    I always wanted to be surprised but I also always wanted to go ring shopping. We went ring shopping and I narrowed it down to three that I loved almost equally and told him to surprise me from there. That was probably for the best because #1 I am terrible at making up my mind and #2 the sales consultant was able to tell which one I really liked the best and suggested that one to him. He even upgraded the diamond because the setting was cheaper than the others. I got to be surprised when he opened the ring box but also had the perfect ring for me:)
    "When life hands you lemons, make a beef stew." Andy Milinokis
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    ChloeaghChloeagh member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    One day FI (back when he was still BF) and I went ring browsing and I pointed out rings to give him ideas. It was funny because the salespeople kept telling him to pay attention. I was worried because he's a jeweler and I'm not a huge fan of his ring style, but when it came down to it, the ring he made for me was absolutely perfect. No idea how it will work with a wedding band, but I don't care because he made it and that makes it beautiful.
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    janeashjaneash
    First Comment
    FI and I bought my ring together.  It did not make it any less special, and his theory was that this way, I was guaranteed to like it, since I am going to be wearing it for the rest of my life!

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    JBSMADA10JBSMADA10 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to Re:Ring Likes/Dislikes?:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Ring Likes/Dislikes?:Really? You again? Ladies don't bother, you should of just took your time and dated the guy for more than 2 weeks before getting engaged. He obviously doesn't know what you like because you haven't been a couple for more than 2 weeks. Stop complaining just be happy you are engaged. And get ready cause you are in for a bumpy ride.Posted by JBSMADA10It was a week and half on Sunday, so it hasn't even been two full weeks. Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]


    Yes, yes. 1.5 weeks. I wonder where this relationship will end? And you would think because of her and his age, they would be smarter and more mature... I guess not. FAIL
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    saraschilling88saraschilling88
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_ring-likesdislikes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:c163f8dc-d39d-47ef-a710-6c18093eb6caPost:9edf7aa8-289c-4b49-84ee-5d4f9fc65553">Re: Ring Likes/Dislikes?</a>:
    [QUOTE]FI and I bought my ring together.  It did not make it any less special, and his theory was that this way, I was guaranteed to like it, since I am going to be wearing it for the rest of my life!
    Posted by janeash[/QUOTE]

    My FI had the same theory, both with my promise ring (which he gave me on our first anniversary), and my engagement ring/wedding band set!!

    OP- I personally would have considered it harsh if you didn't come ring shopping, then made it obvious that you didn't like the ring and wanted to change it.  I would imagine your FI's spirit is partially crushed at this point, truly consider what he's thinking and if he really means it when he says he is ok with you changing the ring. 
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    librababylibrababy
    First Comment
    What was it about the ring that you did not like? I understand why you didnt want to go ring shoppign with him, but why didn't you show him pics or give him an idea of what you liked?
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    jnofarc21jnofarc21
    First Comment
    wow.. everyone is pretty much so RUDE.  You have a right to not like your ring.. you are wearing it the rest of your life.  Not everyone is meant to have a speical hollywood 'moment' /propsal.  Life is messy and unpredictable, i think it was was ok that he know instantly you didnt like it, i think its a sticky situation but i think he would want you to be happy with a ring that you are gonna wear the rest of your life.  So i dont blame you, go pick it out now and then you both will be happy! :)
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    jnofarc21jnofarc21
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_ring-likesdislikes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:c163f8dc-d39d-47ef-a710-6c18093eb6caPost:d6929821-6a74-4145-909a-271676a36a04">Re:Ring Likes/Dislikes?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Really? You again? Ladies don't bother, you should of just took your time and dated the guy for more than 2 weeks before getting engaged. He obviously doesn't know what you like because you haven't been a couple for more than 2 weeks. Stop complaining just be happy you are engaged. And get ready cause you are in for a bumpy ride.
    Posted by JBSMADA10[/QUOTE]

    Why exactly is it your place to judge?  you dont even know her!
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