Disappointing (non)proposal?

autumnandjesse

Don't get me wrong, its been over 4 years and I knew we'd be together forever, and he is the best man in the world. But, like most men, he's not the most romantic guy. And I'm realistic, I don't expect some straight-from-the-movies proposal, either. But... well, here's the story.

We were at a friend's rehearsal dinner, and after we left he told me he bought me a ring, and how he's been having trouble getting it, and the jeweler has been driving him nuts, etc. Just like that, and worked it into normal conversation. I let him know that he should't tell me these things unless he's on one knee, but I'm excited! So a week goes by and of course its the only thing on my mind. He eventually tells me he has it at home, and I'm so excited! I want to see it, of course! But I told him since he blew his proposal, he still owed me one. Now, here's where I ruined it for myself. I wanted to see it so badly, that he gave it to me in our room, with a "practice" proposal. I know how idiotic that sounds, but in my excitement it made perfect sense. Well... that was all I got.

Is it silly of me to want something more? Is that romantic at all, and I'm missing something? Also, we can't plan a wedding yet either, so I just have a ring now and nothing to tell friends and family about a wedding. So I've wanted to give him back the ring until were ready. And... maybe a second shot at that "real" proposal.

Sorry so long, I'd really appreciate any feedback, even if its what I already know (that I'm being pretty immature about this whole ordeal). Thanks everyone!

slow to get started

I had a sad and disapointing proposal yesterday and both my partner and I are having a hard time moving past it. I've been reading a few blogs this morning about this topic, trying to get my head around a new way of seeing it. It sounds like most people either believe we disapointed are spoiled and undeserving for wanting more, or have been through it themselves and acknowledge that it doesn't feel great.
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. I am a step-mother to his kids half time. Our relationship is often challenging, but overall wonderful. I was hoping for a long time he would propose. I've wanted some of the romantic "traditions" in our very untraditional life.  
So I guess he bought the ring a few weeks ago, and rather than bring it on our recent  Mexican vacation where I was deeply relaxed and we watched sunrises and sunsets together, he waited. He waited, but didn't actually plan anything. I guess the ring was burning a hole in his pocket (and I do find that sweet) because yesterday he asked me to marry him on the fly. But it was such a bad time for me.  I was super stressed about being observed by my boss at my work today, had had an AWFUL week at work and with his kids last week, which was still on my mind, had been nursing a cold that wasn't over, and all morning kept telling him how much I just wanted to go put on my pj's and try to relax. I admited I was grumpy and just needed downtime. But instead of driving us home from our errands, he took us to a park. It was pretty, but cold and rainy and I was ready to go.
But he told me he had a question to ask me before we could get back in the car. He started bending down on one knee. Oh, part of me was so surprised and so excited, but another part of me was shouting in my head "No! Not here, not like this. I'm sick and stressed, and... this ISN'T romantic." So, my heart stopped a little, and that was great. But I also noticed the people at the park staring at us and I realized I wasn't really with him in the moment, as badly as I wanted to be. After a long pause of trying to soak it in and love it I said, "yes." But he didn't put the ring on my finger. We just stood there. Then we walked to the car. Then I began to cry. 
I feel HORRIBLE. I feel horrible for making him feel bad. He says he made a mistake in forcing it to be this weekened for no particular reason and with no advance planning. I have to agree. Honestly, I'm mad at him. It's been 4 years. I'm not going anywhere. Why not do a little planning? Why force it at a time that was clearly "off."
I will never have that moment back. That was the first, and hopefully last (person), I'll be proposed to. I'm really sad I couldn't be in a better frame of mind to really love it.
At this point we are not engaged. We are trying to pretend it didn't really happen. We both feel miserable. He says maybe he'll try again down the road.