Elope vs. Wedding

eac719

I live in Mississippi with my fiance, who is in the Navy. My family is from Florida his is from Michigan. I have never really pictured myself as a traditional bride. I am uncomfortable with all the attention and always pictured myself eloping and just focusing on a wonderful honeymoon celebrating the start of our lives together as husband and wife.

But now that the time has actually come to get married, I find myself torn. My parents are fine with whatever we decide, but he is the first of his siblings to get married and his mom REALLY wants to be there if we have any sort of ceremony. So I feel like we can't do the elopement just the two of us on the beach in St. John, but I feel like the courtroom will feel so cold and I'll wish we had done something more meaningful to us.

My question is, is there anything inbetween?? I've looked at doing a small ceremony on the beach in Pensacola, but if we invite both immediate families that will be 12 people. And as much as I love my family, my friends (those 5 brides and their grooms) are JUST as important to me, and I would want them there too. And here we are at full blown wedding status.

Anyone else out there deal with a similar situation??

jagore08

Why not have the JOP ceremony with just both sets of parents and then do a little vow renewal for the two of you on the beach in St. John.  The JOP wedding will be your anniversary date as that's the day you'll be legally married but you'll still get to have the intimate ceremony of your vow renewal for just the two of you.

hlevine

I had a similar idea...not because I wanted to elope, but just because I didn't want to spend the money and wedding planning was annoying me.  I looked into a lot of restaurants - like do the ceremony and reception in the restaurant.  It's a more casual gathering and it is probably more cost effective.  If you invite immediate family and friends that still isn't that much.  What I ended up doing is inviting immediate family, a few friends, and doing it in a hotel that has a wedding package so everything is included (ceremony, food, room, etc)...  we have 25 coming.

Or you could do as jagore08 suggested which I also like...it seems to keep the peace between everyone.  Even if you had a small ceremony with just parents, and then a reception at a restaurant with friends and siblings, I think that would be really nice.

meganb1977

If you want to do something more local to have both families and a very few very close friends, it doesn't have to be in a courtroom.  You can find officiants who will come out and perform the ceremony in a park or backyard or wherever you want.  We're getting married on a riverboat!  (I wanted immediate family on a beach too...had to compromise since fiance wanted a party for his friends).

redheadfsu

We got married on the beach alone in St. Lucia. We really wanted it. His mother wanted to be there, but she understood. It took time. We had a long long engagement which I think helped, I think everyone was thinking do it already. But everyone said the running off to get married was "so us" and most people envied us.

We got a great photographer and videographer so the parents felt like they were there. His mom loved the video.

Also, some hotels also offer skype (or other online real time video feeds) so maybe that is an option for his mom.

gsg717

We were originally planning a small wedding in St. Lucia (hence my ticker) with our parents, siblings and close friends. Basically everyone who would be able to afford to go (or willing to spend that $$ I should say). Now we're doing a restaurant wedding, 50 guests, ceremony and reception in one place, close to home.

A few of my friends went to the courthouse to get married, and then went out for lunch afterwards. The pics from their ceremonies are beautiful and sweet. There was obviously a lot of emotion there and their weddings were just as special as any other wedding I've seen. 

eac719

Thanks so much for all the ideas! I feel a lot more positive about planning now. Like I have options instead of just running into brick walls Perhaps we'll do a ceremony on a boat with our immediate families and a JOP, then vow renewal in St. John, just the two of us. Thank you again!

suggs28

My stuggestion, a little of both worlds. You and he secretly eleope. Take each of your best friends and swear them to secrescy. Never tell a sole that is what you did. So that you to did that part for you. Then you can have the wedding for the family. The dress, flowers, cake, dancing... but you already know that he is yours. That might help relieve some of the stress you are going through. If you go through the secret part of things some things you may want to know.

Different states have diffferent laws, Michigan has a closed door law, in which you can get a sealed marriage certificate so people can go looking for it and never find it. which means they could make the second one legal for you jsut not mail in the paper work. Just let who ever is doing the second cermony what is going on.

I feel those shoes,  I hope you work it out. Congrats for finding your man!

goodine11

Have a small ceremony with just close family and freinds. If they can afford do it at St.Johns.